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Chapter 4

Lily

I sigh as I plop down on my couch with my dinner going over events of today. Obviously, the first thing I did when coming back home was pull my Satisfyer out of its resting place to make myself come. I didn’t even know where it was, but finally I found it behind the box of papers I took from my mom’s place. It has been a while since using it, and way longer since anyone has done it for me, but after this afternoon with Noah, I needed to take the edge off.

As I take a bite, I just realize that there were flashes of faces going through my mind just before coming. And it wasn’t Noah. That scares the hell out of me. I remember thinking about Tommaso or Mr Blue eyes from the club. Guilt burns in my gut after the realization because I had been okay with him rubbing me, but when push comes to shove his face doesn’t flash in my mind. Does that mean that my body and mind are not really attracted to him?

Trying to take my mind off this, I take another look at all the documents from the solicitor. All of it was still a big riddle, and the questions Emma and Norah had asked earlier had me spooked. I just started in my comfort zone going through the transactions. It was a weird mess, but mom must have known what she was doing. There is just no way that a beginner at money laundering and bedazzlement did this. For professional me, everything I was looking at raised the alarm bells, but I continue to struggle to come to terms that this is my mom. You know, the same person that never got a speed ticket in her entire life!

I did a simple run through told me that this was the real deal. I pulled out all the tricks I had in my bag, but I couldn’t get much information out of the transactions, and it frustrates the hell out of me. I still have no idea where all the money came from and where it went to, let alone understanding where this mysterious trust fund comes from. I was about to rip my hair out of my head. So really, the only thing that I could think of doing that could help me is to use the bank’s resources. Too bad it would kill my career if I did that.

I woke up early on Saturday, I had been tossing and turning the entire night because of all the things running through my mind. So, I decided to go running, hoping that it would help me structure all the mysteries and confusion and that it would give me some clear thoughts on where to start. Mom, the money, the properties, Noah, Tommaso, the blue eyes that I can’t seem to shake; all of them were messing with my sanity. Unfortunately, even after running as long as I could and coming back physically exhausted, it didn’t seem to do much for my head. So much for trying to quell the ghosts in my head. Still no clue on what to do about either one of them. I had the distinct feeling that I was missing something very obvious, and that it was right in front of me if I knew where to look. Too bad I missed the clarity of mind to think of it.

I shrugged to myself and tried to convince myself that making no decision is also deciding in a way. In the elevator up I try saying affirmations to myself in the mirror. At this point I’m ready to try anything! Lost in my thoughts I round the corner to my door when I stop in my tracks. There is an incredibly large bouquet of flowers laying in front of my door. I picked it up, and I noticed the lilies. It makes me chuckle at the corniness: lilies for Lily. I am looking for a card. ‘I’m still hoping to see you again soon Bellissima. Love, Tommaso.’ I read it and I was surprised. The first thought running through my mind is to look for cameras or Tommaso himself taking the piss out of me. I find it easier to believe that this is a joke, than it being for real. But I guess that says more about me than about Tommaso.

“So, what are you looking for?”, Emma asked as she was perusing through a rack of ballgowns at one of our favorite boutiques. “Nice, but decent? Old lady conservative? Or easy access?”, she adds with a twinkle in her eyes and a devilish grin. “What would she need easy access for?”, Norah asked me. I see her desperation for gossip in her eyes, with a huge fear of missing out on something. I just shake my head with a smile at their antics, but I’m not yet ready to share any of the events with Noah or Tommaso.

“Elegant, sexy, but classy. And nothing that gives slut-vibes.”, I say, the last part directed at Norah who is feigning innocence and avoiding my glare. She put up both hands, mumbling to herself. I chuckled, clearly, she did not agree with my accusation. Meanwhile, I see Emma go through the racks and occasionally take a dress out. I decided to set myself to it as well. I really need to get a dress for the gala that I somehow agreed to go to with Noah. The only ballgown I have in my closet did not fit me anymore for some reason.

I stepped out of the fitting room in one of the many dresses, but I already know this is not the one. It will be deemed too boring by Norah and Emma. And if I’m honest with myself, I agree with them. I opened the curtain for them to see, but as soon as they caught a glimpse of it, their response is as I expected. “No! Boring!”, they yelled. So, I just turned around and took it off again.

With a sigh I went through the pile to take the obviously boring ones out, just to save myself the effort. So next up: a royal blue dress. This time I am met with silence when I draw back the curtains. Well, silence is promising! “Well?”, I asked. I really wanted to hear their opinion, even though I really liked it. It was sleeveless, and in the front, it had a high neckline. In the back it was very low on my back to the point where one could almost see my butt crack. And there was a split that was up to my upper thigh, allowing me to give an ‘Angelina Jolie’ leg pose.

“You look amazing in that dress.”, Emma said. I looked over to Norah for her opinion. I see the twinkle in her eyes and brace myself. Nothing good is going to come from her. “Classy in the front, sexy in the back, and an easy access split! All our wishes come true in this dress.”, she said with a huge grin. “Here, try these with the dress.”, Emma said, handing me silver sandals. She was always good at making sure I wouldn’t look like a fool. “And I’ll drop off my silver clutch for you to borrow.”, she added. Norah came up to me and gave me a hug. “You truly look amazing. If this dress doesn’t get you any sex, I don’t know what will.”, she whispered in my ear. I chuckled. Those girls will always have my back.

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