The Kiss That Wasn't (REVISED)
I scanned the bustling scene at Java Junction, taking in the Saturday night crowd. It was way more packed than I expected. I frowned, wondering why there were so many people here. Didn’t they have better things to do? My attention was caught by a flash of bleach blonde hair and a smirk I recognized instantly. It was Evan, with his square jaw, noticeable nose, and those thin lips that always looked like they were about to sneer. And, of course, Tahni was right next to him, her arm wrapped around his like she owned him.
“What are they doing here?” I muttered under my breath, mostly to myself.
“Who?” Maekynzie asked, her voice laced with curiosity and a hint of disdain. She leaned in, her honey-brown eyes scanning the crowd, trying to see what I was looking at.
“Evan and Tahni,” I replied, already feeling that familiar knot of anxiety in my stomach. Java Junction was our hangout, our escape from the high school drama. Their presence felt like an invasion, as if they were trying to take over our space.
“Ugh, seriously?” Tinsley groaned, her nose scrunching up in disgust. Her bright green eyes sparkled with irritation. “Can’t they just stick to their own crowd for once?”
Noelle nodded, her gaze narrowed as she watched the couple navigate through the throng of people. “Maybe they’re just here for the music?” she suggested, but her tone made it clear she wasn’t convinced.
Just then, Stetson and Chandler showed up at our booth. Stetson, with his messy blonde hair and striking blue eyes, was practically buzzing with excitement. He had his usual iced caramel latte, extra shot.
"Sorry for the wait," Stetson said with a grin that could light up a room. "The line was crazy." He slid in next to Noelle, while Chandler took a seat beside me, holding a classic black coffee. No sugar, just like him - strong and slightly bitter. Our eyes locked for a moment, and I felt myself getting lost in his deep cerulean gaze. He set my macchiato down in front of me, and our fingers brushed together for just a second.
"Thanks," I replied, my voice coming out a bit shaky. I held his gaze, feeling a spark of something - was it excitement or nervousness? - pass between us. I quickly looked away and took a big sip of my macchiato. The sweet caramel taste didn’t do much to ease the fluttering in my stomach.
"So," Chandler said, his voice low and smooth, "what's with the long faces? You all look like you've seen a ghost."
Maekynzie, always ready to add some drama, jumped in with a theatrical recount of Evan and Tahni's entrance. "It's like they're trying to ruin our night!" she exclaimed, her voice rising in frustration.
Chandler chuckled. "Ruin your night? Come on. They wouldn't recognize good music if it hit them in the face." He turned to me, his eyes sparkling. "Besides, they're not worth your energy."
Easy for him to say. He was close enough that I could feel the warmth from his arm, sending shivers down my spine. Chandler had this talent for brushing off people like Evan and Tahni without a second thought. I, on the other hand, felt a knot of anxiety tightening in my chest. Evan's presence was unsettling, reminding me of the complicated feelings I was trying to sort out. My feelings for him, my feelings for Chandler, the whole high school social scene… it was all so tiring.
I forced a smile, trying to shake off the tension. "He's right," I said, my voice a bit too cheerful. "Let’s just enjoy Emory and the band. Tonight is all about them."
Please, let it be their night. I really needed a break from all the drama and the constant emotional tug-of-war.
The opening notes of Emory's newest track blasted through the café, sending a wave of energy that vibrated through the floor and into my feet. Emory, with his sandy blonde hair and playful smile, was totally in his zone, his chestnut brown eyes shining brightly under the stage lights. The music was so catchy, mixing indie rock and pop, that it had everyone buzzing with excitement.
A few songs later, just as I was really getting into it, I felt a gentle tug on my hand. It was Chandler. He didn’t say anything, just pulled me toward the makeshift dance floor where a crowd was already moving to the beat. I stumbled a bit, my heart racing. What was he up to?
He guided me into the crowd, his hand warm and steady in mine. The music surrounded us, creating a lively backdrop to the butterflies in my stomach. I stole a glance at him, trying to read the look in his bright blue eyes, but all I could see was that familiar spark of mischief and something deeper… something that made my heart skip a beat.
Before I could think too much, he drew me closer, his other hand resting on my waist. I instinctively placed my free hand on his shoulder, feeling the warmth radiate through his shirt. We swayed together, not really dancing, just moving to the rhythm, our bodies close but not quite touching.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Stetson following our lead, pulling Noelle onto the dance floor with a cheeky grin. Even Tinsley, who usually stayed on the sidelines, had grabbed a confused senior from our school and dragged him into the mix.
The music enveloped me, Emory's voice a strong wave that swept away my worries. For the first time that night, I felt completely in the moment, lost in the music and the sensation of Chandler's hand on my waist.
But just when I started to feel at ease, I spotted him. Evan. He was staring at us, his face set in a frown, those thin lips pressed tightly together. My stomach dropped. This was a huge mistake.
My stomach twisted uncomfortably as Evan's frown deepened. This was a huge mistake. I glanced nervously between Evan and Chandler, my heart racing like a wild animal trapped in a cage. Chandler, completely unaware of the tension surrounding us, was happily humming along to the music, his bright blue eyes shining with joy.
"Are you having fun?" he called out over the loud beats, his breath warm against my ear.
I forced a weak smile, praying it didn’t look as strained as it felt. "Yeah," I lied, my voice barely audible. Not anymore.
Evan was still watching us, his face a mix of anger and… hurt? Was that even possible? He pulled Tahni closer, and she giggled, her bright blonde hair standing out against his dark undercut as she wrapped her arms around his neck. The sight hit me like a punch to the gut. Why did he have to be with her?
The music swelled, Emory's voice filling the café, but I could hardly hear it over the pounding of my heart. I felt trapped, suffocated by Evan's stare and the confusion swirling inside me.
Chandler's hand tightened around my waist, pulling me back to reality. He leaned in, his lips close to my ear. "You’re beautiful, you know?" he whispered, his voice deep and smooth, sending chills down my spine.
I gasped slightly. What was he doing? He had never said anything like that before.
He pulled back a bit, his blue eyes searching mine. "Sloane," he said, his voice low, "Can I kiss you?"
The question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken feelings. My mind raced. Evan. Chandler. Tahni. Me. We were all tangled up in this mess of emotions and complicated relationships.
What do I do? My heart pounded against my chest, a frantic rhythm matching the chaos in my head. I wanted to kiss him. I really, really did. But Evan…
I glanced over at Evan. He was staring at us, his jaw tight and his dark eyes fixed on me with intensity. Tahni was leaning in close, whispering something to him in a way that sounded sharp and dangerous, though I couldn't catch the words. It didn't matter, though. The fury in his gaze and the way he kept Tahni close told me everything I needed to know.
My gaze flicked back to Chandler. The honesty in his eyes, the glimmer of hope in those blue depths, nearly broke down my defenses. But then there was Evan's intense look, the way he held onto Tahni - it was a harsh reminder of the complicated situation we were all in.
"Chandler," I started, my voice barely above a whisper, "I -"
I can't. The words got stuck in my throat, trapped by a mix of confusion and fear.
He studied my face, his own expression shifting to one of doubt. "Sloane? What’s going on?"
What’s going on? Everything felt off. My heart was torn between a confusing mix of desire and guilt. I craved Chandler's closeness, the warmth in his gaze, the way he made me feel understood. But I felt guilty about the inevitable consequences, the pain it would bring, the boundaries it would cross.
"I…I can’t," I finally said, the words feeling bitter as they left my lips.
"Can’t?" His brow knitted together, a flash of hurt crossing his face. "Why not?"
It was all because of Evan. It was all because of Tahni. And honestly, it was also because I was too scared to face it. A million reasons clashed in my mind, but none felt right or true.
"It's… complicated," I stuttered, feeling embarrassed by the weakness in my voice and the doubt in my eyes.
He stared at me for what felt like forever, his gaze piercing and searching. Finally, he nodded slowly, a bittersweet smile forming on his lips. "Okay," he said gently, his tone filled with understanding. "I get it."
But did he really? Did he truly grasp the chaos swirling inside me, the way my heart felt like it was being ripped apart?
He carefully let go of my waist and stepped back. The warmth of his hand disappeared, leaving a cold emptiness behind. Suddenly, the music felt louder, and the noise of the crowd became overwhelming. I felt so exposed, so vulnerable, like I was a deer caught in the bright light of a spotlight.
He turned away, his shoulders drooping a bit as he navigated through the crowd. I felt a lump in my throat as I watched him leave, an odd emptiness settling in my chest. For a brief moment, I stood there, unable to move, my eyes locked on the vacant doorway where he had vanished. The café felt smaller, the lively music fading into a monotonous buzz. What have I done?
I scanned the room, looking for a way out, a distraction, anything to calm the rising anxiety. Stetson and Noelle were still dancing, completely absorbed in their own little world. Tinsley had somehow convinced the confused senior to try a waltz, their awkward steps making everyone around them laugh. Even Emory, up on stage, seemed unaware of the chaos below, his voice carefree and loud.
But I couldn’t escape the heaviness of my decisions, the consequences looming like dark clouds. A tear threatened to fall, and I quickly wiped it away. Don’t cry, Sloane. You can’t cry.
I needed fresh air. I needed some space. I had to escape the stifling atmosphere of the café, the judging stares, the tangled mess of relationships that felt like they were closing in on me.
As I pushed through the crowd, I mumbled sorries while bumping into people and stepping on toes. I could feel their curious gazes on me, questioning. Just get out, Sloane. Just get out.
The cool night air hit me like a refreshing splash, a welcome relief from the café's oppressive warmth. I inhaled deeply, the crisp autumn air filling my lungs and clearing my mind for a moment. The scent of fallen leaves and wet earth mixed with the faint smell of coffee, creating a strangely soothing aroma. The music from inside was now just a distant echo to my racing thoughts.
The chilly night air hit me hard, a refreshing change from the stuffy warmth of the café. I inhaled deeply, letting the crisp autumn breeze fill my lungs and clear my mind for a moment. The smell of fallen leaves mixed with the damp earth and a hint of coffee, creating a surprisingly soothing scent. The music from inside was now just a faint echo, a background noise to my racing thoughts.
I leaned against the cool brick wall, shutting my eyes to collect myself. The rough surface of the bricks under my fingers reminded me that I was still in the real world, despite the chaos in my head. What a disaster. I had hurt Chandler, and I knew it. All because of what? Fear? Uncertainty? The slim possibility of something with Evan?
A bitter laugh slipped out. Nice job, Sloane.
A twig snapped behind me, the sound cutting through the stillness of the night. I spun around, my heart racing. Who's there?
"Sloane?"
A wave of relief washed over me. "Stetson! You gave me a scare."
He emerged from the shadows, his dirty-blonde hair glinting in the faint light from the café window. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing."
I shrugged, wrapping my cream cable-knit sweater tighter around me. "Just needed some fresh air."
He raised an eyebrow, his bright blue eyes examining me closely. "Is everything okay?"
Not really. But I couldn’t spill my feelings about Chandler or Evan or the confusing mess I was in. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, forcing a smile.
He didn’t seem convinced. "You sure? You look…off."
Off? Was it that noticeable? I took a deep breath, trying to act casual. "Just a bit tired, I guess."
He paused for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Alright. Well, Noelle's looking for you. She wants to grab some fries at the diner before we head home."
The idea of greasy diner food didn’t sound great, but the thought of some company and a distraction was appealing. "Okay," I said, pushing myself off the wall. "Let’s go."
As we walked back toward the café, I glanced at the doorway where Chandler had just been. He was gone. And with him, a piece of me I wasn’t sure I could ever reclaim.