Desire
Isadora
To my relief, Jennifer and I didn't comment on anything about what had happened during those carnival days, and routinely returned, bringing calmness to our lives. Maybe the right word wasn't calmness I thought, while sighing in frustration with all the work on my desk, not to mention what needed to be done on the computer.
I avoided complaining about my job, considering that the opportunity to work as a secretary for one of the company's CEOs was something incredible in terms of my career. Considering I'm only twenty-two years old and about to graduate from the administration course, that job provided me with excellent experience for my resume.
The position required a great deal of dedication and commitment. Although I only had a fixed time to enter the company, I could never be sure of the time I would leave. It was common for me to need to work late and even on weekends, especially when bureaucratic emergencies arose that required my immediate assistance from my boss, Mr. Hickmann.
However, the salary was truly excellent, and regardless of the job's demands, I was happy with the benefits offered at H&W, as we called the company. Being Mr. Hickmann's assistant was by far the best job I could have, despite the sacrifices I occasionally had to make in my personal life.
Today promised to be a busy day, as my boss's schedule was filled with meetings with investors. On these occasions, I always had to do my best to meet all his requests.
Mr. Hickmann was known for his demanding nature, not only with employees but also with himself. He always expected perfection from everyone around him.
However, it seemed that it wasn't just my boss who was demanding and perfectionist. Jennifer, who was Mr. Werneck's secretary, a man I considered handsome and extremely polite, also shared her complaints about his demands. She used to tell me about all the demands not only for her but also for the entire team responsible for new contracts.
Jennifer had already mentioned her desire to resign, but she resisted due to the salary, which was above average for her role, and she knew it would be difficult to find another company that offered the same benefits as H&W.
Despite the stack of work on my desk, I checked the time on the clock and realized I needed to hurry to join Mr. Hickmann for his first meeting of the day. After making sure everything was perfect with my appearance, I checked once again if my makeup was subtle enough not to draw attention to myself and smoothed out my severe bun.
I went through the same routine with my moss-green dress, which had a knee-length hem and a discreet neckline, displaying the company logo on the right side of the chest. I concluded that I was perfectly aligned with H&W's standards and headed to my boss's office to start another challenging and rewarding day of work.
∞∞∞
As always when our schedules coincided, I was now having lunch with Jennifer. We took the opportunity to gossip a bit about our favorite topic: celebrities' lives.
However, Jennifer soon started complaining again about her boss, for the tenth time just that week. I felt uneasy because, while I used to find her complaints tiresome before, that day I was so exhausted that I even mentally agreed with her on some points. Although I didn't express my grievances as Jennifer did, I also felt drained by work.
The weeks of work and classes at college have been quite tiring, and the fact that I haven't been able to sleep properly was making everything even more complicated. The truth is, despite my attempts to avoid running into Matteo, it becomes impossible when we have classes together.
Seeing Matteo throughout the entire class, hearing his voice explaining the subject to the class, reminded me of our moments together, and the sensations it stirred up in me were at least embarrassing. I got excited just by hearing him, and that's ridiculous.
Everything becomes even more complicated when I have an almost nonexistent social life. When I wasn't working or studying, I was too tired to go out, and my friends didn't even invite me anymore, complaining that I never had time for anything.
It had been weeks since I had a date with an interesting guy to do something together, something I used to love. But now there's the Isadora before Matteo and the Isadora after Matteo. He had raised my expectations to a level that was hard to reach, and that made the task of forgetting him even more difficult.
This situation was stressing me out, I have to admit.
In an attempt to change the subject and avoid the conversation being limited to just work, I mentioned how I missed having a romantic encounter, meeting someone interesting, and simply enjoying some moments together.
"I still have that neglected aspect of my life," Jennifer lamented. "It's been ages since I've had sex with anyone. I'm climbing the walls already."
"Me too, friend," I had to agree because it was true, and we ended up smiling at our calamitous situation. "Besides work, there's still college. There's not much time left."
"But you're also quite the goody two-shoes, Isa," Jennifer teased, laughing at the look of dismay on my face. "Before Carnival, I could never imagine you casually hooking up with anyone."
"But with Professor Matteo, I did it without thinking twice!" I expressed my disgust aloud.
Only after letting those words slip did I realize I had brought up a topic I had been avoiding since we returned from Carnival, and I immediately regretted it.
"I also forget my principles pretty quickly for Vincent or Thomas... If only those two hotties looked at us with interest, and not just as efficient employees always available to work even more," Jennifer whispered mischievously.
"True," I agreed, smiling.
Jennifer was right in saying they were two hotties because they were. I just didn't spend time admiring such beauty because I barely had time to breathe next to Mr. Hickmann, and he was already assigning me more urgent tasks.
Both Mr. Hickmann and Mr. Werneck were delicious men, but they were also very serious individuals. Never once had either of them shown disrespect or veered the conversation to topics unrelated to work when they were with me.
I perfectly understood that they wouldn't be interested in either of us. We were just two employees, while they were wealthy men capable of having the company they desired. They would never look at us with any kind of romantic interest.
After finishing lunch, I returned to my workstation and made an effort to be even more efficient than I already was, getting ahead on all the possible work. Who knows, maybe Mr. Hickmann would notice my dedication? I thought, allowing myself to dream briefly.