Chapter 12
Lea dressed for dinner later that evening with her mind still replaying their conversation on the terrace. When he’d come to join her, still dressed in nothing but his close-fitting swimming briefs, she had almost fainted on the spot with lust. And when he’d placed her hand on his bare thigh, it had been all she could do not to move it up higher. Her hand had tingled the whole time he’d held it.
When he’d repeatedly stroked his thumb across her palm, a fluttery sensation had gone through her belly, and her female hormones went crazy. They were still going crazy. Her body was awake to needs it hadn’t been conscious of before. Needs that made her long to have his hands stroking other places on her body. Places where no one had ever touched her.
Lea smoothed down the black all-in-one, spaghetti-strapped pantsuit that clung to her slim frame and widened at the legs in an elegant flare. It was a shame she couldn’t wear high heels, but the small kitten-heeled shoes were about as glamorous as she was prepared to go. She had lived her life since the car crash, living safely, and she didn’t want to change. Couldn’t change when it came to it. She had spent months and months in the hospital and then more in a rehabilitation clinic. Long, lonely, bewildering months trying to get used to her new circumstances.
Adjusting to the presence of a new friend—survivor guilt.
Feeling guilty about her pretence of grieving for the loss of her parents, when what she had really felt was relief. She had felt far more relief over not losing her leg than grief over losing her parents. What did that say about her? Her scars reminded her every day of the conflict of her emotions. To this day, she felt relieved to be finally free of the chaotic family life both her parents had been responsible for, although she held her father to most of the blame.
A crazy, unpredictable life where alcohol and drugs had been on the table instead of food. A life where violence, shouting insults, and smashing plates and glasses had been commonplace. There had been no peace even when it was quiet because you knew there was a storm brewing that could erupt at any moment. Without warning. Without any recognisable trigger. It just happened, and you had to take shelter if you could and pray like crazy if you couldn’t.
Lea sighed and swept her hair up in a makeshift bun, blocking her thoughts of the past like a shutter coming down. She refused to be a victim these days. She was strong and resilient, and she was fiercely proud of what she had achieved so far. And this temporary marriage with Dave would help her achieve even more. The money he had deposited into her bank account had already turned her financial situation around. Her business expansion plans could go ahead without fear of failure. She would focus on the positives of their marriage arrangement, not the niggling negatives.
She opened her cosmetics bag and touched up her make-up, spritzing perfume on her pulse points and applying lip gloss to her lips. She gave herself a quick appraisal by turning this way and that in front of the mirror, deciding that even if she wasn’t perfect, at least she was passable.
Dave had just ended a call dealing with a work issue on a large project he had going on in Tuscany when Lea came into the sitting room. Her all-in-one black outfit skimmed her slim figure in all the right places. Places he couldn’t stop thinking about touching, caressing, and exploring. Her make-up highlighted the regal elegance of her finely drawn features—the smoky eyeshadow and mascara on her lashes made her eyes stand out. Her chestnut hair was on top of her head in a loosely casual knot, leaving her swan-like neck and creamy shoulders exposed.
He imagined kissing a trail of light kisses along her smooth skin, down to her collarbones, and down to the slight swell of her breasts. He imagined himself unclipping her hair from its knot and running his fingers through it to see if it was as silky as it looked. Her lips were shimmering with a layer of pink-toned lip gloss, and all he could think about was pressing his lips to hers to remove it with a kiss. He could still recall the sweet vanilla and honey taste of her mouth and could still feel the texture of her lips—impossibly soft and responsive. He could still feel the background beat of desire ticking in his blood.
Oh, boy, he had some work to do on his willpower. Some big work.
If he was fantasising like this on day one of their marriage, what would he be like at the end of it?
“You look beautiful,” he said, slipping his phone into his trouser pocket.
A light tinge of pink pooled high in her cheeks, and she lowered her gaze a fraction. “Thank you.”
“Shall we go?” Dave led the way outside so they could walk to the restaurant, which was only a short stroll further along the bay. The night air had a salty tang from the ocean, and there was a gibbous moon. Lea walked beside him in silence, but he was increasingly aware of her limp. She was wearing small heels, but they clearly weren’t giving her the stability she needed. After she gave him a precarious wobble, he reached for her hand and enveloped it in his. “The pathway is a little uneven here.”
She glanced up at him with a brief smile of thanks and looked away again. They walked the rest of the way in silence, but Dave was aware of every whorl of her skin where it touched his. Aware of the light flowery fragrance she was wearing, she was aware of how her head only came to just below his shoulders.
They came to the restaurant and were soon led to their table, overlooking Kapalua Bay. The waiter took their drink orders and left them with menus. Dave gave the menu a cursory glance because he could barely take his eyes off Lea. He had never spent so much concentrated time with her before. But when it came to that, he hadn’t spent much time with anyone over the last seven years. He had preferred to be alone with his thoughts, with his regrets, and with his guilt. Not just his guilt over Susannah.
Mary caused him more guilt than he could handle and had done so for more years than he cared to count. His worry about his younger brother stretched back as far as childhood, when their mother had left. Dave had done everything he could to shield Mary from the sudden loss of their mother, but he hadn’t succeeded.
But when had he ever succeeded in a relationship of any kind?
Spending time with Lea opened up a new world of connection and emotional intimacy—that thing he had so assiduously avoided even in his relationship with his fiancée. Getting to know Lea on a deeper level had made him realise what his relationship with his ex had been missing.
It was hard to get his head around the fact that they were now officially married. It didn’t seem real, but it was—he had the marriage certificate to prove it. It was there in black and white.
On paper.
Lea looked up from examining the menu and frowned. “Is something wrong?”
Dave rearranged his features into an impassive mask. “No. Why?”
She closed the menu and frowned. “You keep staring at me and frowning.”
He gave an on-off smile. “Sorry. I was thinking.”
“About what?”
“About us.” Even saying the word ‘us’ made something in him sit up like a meerkat and take notice.
She lowered her gaze to focus on the candle flickering on the table between them. “It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I mean, us being married.” Her gaze came back to his. ‘But at least we’ve saved the castle. That’s what matters most.”
“It’s not the only thing that matters,” Dave said. “It’s important you aren’t too badly inconvenienced by our arrangement. I know a year is a long time, but once we annul our marriage, you’ll be free to move on with your life.”
The waiter approached with their drinks to take their meal order at that point. Dave tried not to think about Lea’s life after their marriage ended. It would be strange to see her marry someone else one day, perhaps even have a family. And if she moved away, she might not even be a part of Brathellae any more. He couldn’t imagine the Highland estate without her. The place would seem empty and colourless. Bleak.
Once the waiter had left, Lea picked up her wineglass and gently twirled the contents.
“My life is my business. That’s all I care about. I want to be successful and self-sufficient.”
“Do you want a family as well one day?” Why was he asking when he didn’t want to know? He didn’t want to think about her as the mother of some other man’s babies. It was none of his business what she did with her life after their'marriage' came to an end. No business at all.
Lea lifted one slim shoulder in a tiny shrug, a frown forming between her downcast eyes. “I’m not sure about that… Sometimes I think it would be wonderful to have a family. But other times I worry I could end up like my mother.” She flicked him a veiled glance. “She married the wrong person. It not only ruined her life, it cut it short.”
Dave suspected there was a lot more to Lea’s background than she had let on. Her guardedness around the subject of her childhood was a testament to that. He knew she had been in a car accident that had claimed her parents’ lives and caused her to be severely injured, but he had a sense she hadn’t had an easy life even before that terrible tragedy. “Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”
Lea took a sip of wine and then placed her glass back on the table. Her features were a battleground of conflicting emotions, as if she were deciding whether to reveal or conceal. But after a long moment, she started speaking in a voice that throbbed with conviction.
“My mother made a series of choices she might not have made if she’d been better supported. She came from a difficult background herself and then got caught up in a downward spiral of petty crime to lift herself out of poverty. One job would have broken the cycle, I’m sure of it. It would have given her independence and a sense of worth.”