Chapter 3

Justin stalled in the doorway, watching the trio. His children and the woman they adored. Allena had been a pivotal part of their lives for so long it would be difficult to imagine life on the ranch without her. Almost impossible. She created balance and harmony. She was the steadiness they all needed after so much loss and was an essential part of their everyday lives. She was…family.

He watched as Cassie clutched her hand as they bent over, looking into a small box in the corner of the stables. Jayden said something and Allena laughed, the sound echoing and somehow hitting him directly in the center of the chest. It occurred to him that he hadn’t heard her laugh much lately. Oh, sure, sometimes when she was in the garden with Mittie or in the kitchen with the kids, or reading the paper with his dad when his father dropped in. But around him…not so much.

Had it always been like that? Had he simply been blinded by the fact she was essential to his kids and therefore didn’t think about their relationship. Not that they actually had a relationship. She worked for him. She lived in his house. They ate dinner together with the kids most weeknights.

They talked about the children, the weather and other mundane things, but never about anything really personal. Of course, he’d done a background check before hiring and knew all about her. He knew her stepsister, as well as her father and stepmother. She loved chocolate and hated avocado and always ordered her pizza with extra mushrooms. She was an early riser, but was often asleep on the sofa by nine in the evening. The woman jogged three mornings a week and some Sundays and did yoga downtown on Thursday evenings. He knew she liked reading murder mysteries. She loved Christmas and holidays and spent forever searching for the right gifts. Allena had a sweet voice and would often sing the kids to sleep with a lullaby. She cried every time she watched The Notebook.

He knew she liked to wear knitted scarves in winter. He knew she liked to dance, listened to country music and had a hankering for George Strait and Kenny Chesney love songs.

But what he didn’t know was why in the hell she was leaving him.Not me, he corrected, but the kids, their family, and the life she had on the ranch. Again, he remembered she’d said something about getting married, registered that it irked him and didn’t want to think about why. Besides, she hadn’t mentioned she was seeing anyone. Maybe he’d been wrong…maybe she was dating someone. It wasn’t as though he paid a lot of attention to her love life. Although, if she was in a relationship, she was certainly discreet about it to the point of keeping the guy invisible.

Yep, it definitely irked him—a lot—which he knew wasn’t rational. Allena could do whatever she liked. Still, he didn’t like secrets. And really, she could still have a relationship and work for him. Most people balanced a professional and personal life. He even did it himself occasionally. Although he was hard pressed to remember the last time he’d been on a date. And he hadn’t had sex in forever, not since Rachel had left town over a year earlier. She’d worked at the local hospital in the surgical unit and they’d had a mutually agreeable no-commitment-required relationship for about eight months. The no-strings arrangement suited them both. When she left town to pursue her career in Boise, neither of them was exactly heartbroken. Sure, he’d liked Rachel, but she would never have been someone he could settle down with permanently. For one, she didn’t want kids, and since he already had two of his own, imagining they could have anything long-term or serious was out of the question. Besides, he wasn’t in love with her. He liked her well enough, but that was it. They hadn’t even really been friends…more like two people who occasionally got together for dinner and sex. Which had suited them both.

Since then, Justin hadn’t been inclined to try meeting anyone. His accounting practice kept him

busy and so did the kids. His children were everything to him, and frankly, he wasn’t sure he wanted another live-in nanny, either. He’d actually known Allena for a long time, having met her at his cousin Mitch’s first wedding to her stepsister, a decade earlier. Their paths had crossed several times in the ensuing years, mostly at the holidays or weddings and funerals.

Then when Jayne died, his whole world shifted. When Allena applied for the nanny position, employing her had been a no-brainer. She was familiar, she already knew Jayden, and Cassie was only eight months old at the time. Having her move to the ranch was also an easy decision. But allowing someone new the same option didn’t sit right. He didn’t want a stranger interacting with his kids, living down the hall from them. From him.

He only wanted Allena, end of story.

“Daddy!”

Cassie’s animated voice cut through his thoughts and she came racing toward him, landing against his legs with a resounding thump. He hauled her into his arms and she hugged him tightly. Justin kissed her rosy cheek and smiled. Everything about his baby girl made him happy. She was a delightful child, sweet natured and fun loving, and he knew much of that was Allena’s doing. Jayden was the more serious of the pair, but he had also flourished under Allena’s guidance and affection.

Justin knew, without a doubt, that Allena loved his children. He looked in her direction and their

gazes clashed, registering somewhere deep down and in a way that made him catch a breath. She wasn’t smiling now.

“The kittens are here, Daddy,” Cassie said excitedly. “Come and see.”

“Okay, sweetie.”

His daughter squirmed out of his arms, grabbed his hand and dragged him into the corner of the stable. “Look.” Justin peered into the small, makeshift birthing box he suspected Rudy, the ranch foreman who’d been with him for a long time, had constructed. Justin noticed several tiny babies moving around. The mommy cat was still in the process of birthing and he watched as his children observed the wonder of nature. One thing about living on a ranch, the reproductive process was never something to shy away from. If it wasn’t the stable cat, it was one of the cows or the chickens. And he liked that they had the opportunity to witness birth and sometimes death, in a way that was open and honest and safe. It was the frame he used to comfort them when they asked about their mom, which happened less and less as the years passed. His fault, he suspected. And it wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk about Jayne or dilute her memory—it was just so hard to make sense of it.

And now they would lose Allena, too.

“Bubbles is going to be the best mommy ever,” Jayden stated. “Don’t you think, Allena?”Justin noticed that she flicked a glance in his direction. “Of course.”

Bubbles was, in fact, a stray who had turned up a few weeks earlier and who had decided the shelter of the stables and the supply of mice at suppertime was a good reason to hang around. The cat was friendly and affectionate, if not a little timid, and once the kittens were weaned and rehomed, Justin figured he’d get the cat neutered and let her stay on. Admittedly, he was more of a dog person, but the kids liked her, and that in and of itself was enough reason to make her a part of things.

“Can I keep one of the kittens, Dad?” Jayden asked and grinned, pointing to the box.

“We’ll see,” he replied and touched his son’s head, staying close for a few moments.

“The black one with the white feet,” Jayden said and chuckled as he pointed to one of the kittens.

“I can call him Socks.”

Justin smiled. Jayden’s logic was an endearing quality. “Sure.”

“Can we keep that one too,” Jayden queried and pointed to a little black kitten that Bubbles was cleaning up. “I mean, one for me and one for Cassie,” he explained, still grinning. “And probably one for Allena, too. And Aunt Leah. Oh, and great-grandma. And Pop likes cats, so we should save one for him.”

He had to admit, his son was quite the negotiator, since most of the kittens had now been

accounted for. “So, I don’t get a kitten?” he asked, still smiling.

“You can have Bubbles,” Jayden announced, still all logic and Justin figured the apple didn’t fall

far from the tree. The last kitten had arrived and he reminded the kids to remain quiet while the cat went about her business. Allena was silent, watching the birth, biting her lower lip as she often did when deep in thought. He noticed how Cassie was back holding her hand, standing close to the woman she adored, and again he was overcome with the feeling that life would be very different when Allena left the ranch.

That thought gathered momentum in his gut until it threatened to cut off air to his lungs. He wanted to understand her feelings…but damn, his kids were going to be crushed. And that was unacceptable. Plus, two weeks wasn’t enough time to find a replacement…or to convince her to stay. “Allena,” he said quietly. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”