Chapter 4

She met his gaze and hesitated for a moment before releasing Cassie. Justin watched as she moved away from the birthing box and then followed until they were out of earshot from the kids.

“What?” she asked tersely. He turned, crossing his arms, making sure the children couldn’t hear him. “Two things,” he said quietly. “Firstly, I’ll need more time to find someone to replace you, so I want a month’s notice. Secondly,” he said, dropping his voice a fraction. “I’m not going to play bad cop for you, Allena. If you want to leave, you’re going to have to tell the kids yourself.”

She glared at him, and Justin knew he’d backed her into a corner. She adored his kids; he knew that. She’d never do anything to hurt them. Except leave them, apparently.

Well, one thing was certain. He wasn’t going to let her go without a damned good fight! Allena took a breath, staring at him, noticing how his green eyes glittered behind his glasses. He really did have the Clark Kent thing down to a fine art. He was highly intelligent and with little patience—or skill, frankly—for small talk.

He liked jazz music, didn’t dance, had never smoked and rarely drank. Allena swallowed hard, trying not to think about the fact he hadn’t shaved that morning and his stubble was incredibly sexy. Because thinking Justin was sexy was plain old stupid. So, snap out of it…

She shrugged. “Sure, no problem.”

He didn’t look convinced and his mouth twisted a little. “Go ahead, do it. We’re both here…say what you need to say.”

She stepped closer. “You’re being impossible.”

“I’m not the one abandoning them.”

It was a low blow. “You know why I—”

“So you can marry some guy you haven’t even met yet?”

“Who says I haven’t?” she shot back, her teeth clenched tightly.

Justin’s brows came together. “You did,” he replied. “You said you didn’t know who—”

“If you must know,” she said, keeping her voice low, “there is someone. But I’d rather not talk about it.” Jesus!

“If you’ve got some secret lover, Allena, rest assured you can still see him and remain here…the world is full of people juggling relationships and work.”

What the heck? Secret lover? Hardly. But she did have someone she thought might one day become her lover… and maybe more. Twelve months earlier she’d done something completely out of character—she’d logged on to a dating site. Four months after some brief texting sessions with a couple of definite Mr. Noes, she was matched up with Bobby Eckart. He was funny and charming and exactly the tonic she needed for her stuck-in-a-rut life. He was single, over thirty, six foot five and handsome in a rugged kind of way.

Plus, he was a fireman—a job that he loved. The only thing was, that job was in Texas, so they’d never actually met. They texted, they talked on the phone, they even Facetimed—but she hadn’t summoned the courage for a meeting. He’d asked, of course. And she knew it was the next step. But something held her back.

A six-foot-five, green-eyed something…

She shook off the thought. Bobby was her future—maybe. She just needed the courage to take a chance on that future. “He’s not a secret.” She corrected Justin’s interpretation and sighed. “I just don’t like flaunting my personal life.”

Justin's gaze narrowed, and then he raised a curious brow as though the idea of her actually having a personal life was surprising. “Who is he? Someone local?”

“No one you know,” Allena replied hotly, holding on to her building embarrassment. She didn’t want to talk to Justin about her love-life. Not ever. “And I’ll tell the children today. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just get back to my Saturday…it is my day off, after all.”

“I never stop you having your time off,” he reminded her. Which was true. Allena chose to spend most of her Saturdays at the ranch. The fact was, the place felt like home. It was her home. And although Justin looked after the kids on the weekend, she still enjoyed hanging out with them.

She sighed. “I know. Sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, Allena,” he said quietly. “I want you to stay.”She ignored the hint of vulnerability in his voice, figuring she was imagining it, and turned, striding back toward the kids. Rudy, came out from his small cottage behind the stables and walked through the door. He stopped to speak with Justin for a moment, then came toward the birthing box. She’d always liked Rudy and they chatted for a few minutes, while the kids began naming the kittens. She didn’t relax though…she couldn’t when she knew Justin was near, silently listening to her every word. Making judgments, of course. Thinking he had all the answers. Believing he knew everything about her.

Big jerk.

It was one of his annoying qualities. Like the way he didn’t talk much. Allena was sure she regularly spoke ten words for each one he said. Over the years she’d become accustomed to his silences, or the way he could concentrate so effortlessly and give things his complete attention. He had a charitable nature, generously giving to several local organizations, including a sizable donation to the local veterans’ home every year.

So, he had his flaws, but Justin James Caster De Nero was generally a good man. Once Bubbles and all the kittens settled, Allena left the stables and headed back to the house and made her way to her suite. She liked to call it the West Wing. A long hallway with a lockable door that offered a little distance between the rest of the house, with a bedroom, bathroom, lounge and small kitchenette. Not that she ever locked the door, nor did she cook on the stove much. But she had a good stock of fragrant teas and a box of Oreos at hand for those times when she needed to be alone.

The combined living and dining areas had a lovely view overlooking the back meadow and small orchard, and she’d placed a few pieces of her own furniture around so it felt more like her own home, rather than a few rooms in someone else’s house.

She put the kettle on, popped an herbal tea bag into a mug then grabbed her cell to check for messages. There was one from her sister asking if she was free for coffee the following day, and she replied with a thumbs-up emoji. Now that Tess was remarried to Mitch and had a baby, she was busy being a wife and mom, but always made time for family. Allena adored her sister and was forever grateful their parents had fallen in love so many years ago. Allena’s mother had died when she was a child, much like Tess’s dad, and she knew her sister was equally grateful that their parents had made them all a family.

Allena sat by the window and sipped her tea, looking out to the meadow beyond the garden and experienced a feeling of wistful yearning for everything she longed for but didn’t have. Love. Children. Sex. A home to truly call her own. Perhaps one day. Once she left the ranch and her old life behind. But it would be hard. The thought of leaving the kids tore her up inside.

Still, she knew she had to do it.