Chapter 9

Strange, Justin mused as he looked at her, but it took all of his willpower to push back the mental image he had suddenly run riot through his brain. Images of Allena lying on the sand wearing nothing but a tiny, revealing bikini. The idea sideswiped him for a second and then settled in his blood. The clingy, ill-fitting T-shirt wasn’t helping, either. It outlined every dip and curve and left nothing to the imagination. His groin tightened, and he shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of something intelligent to say but coming up with nothing. Sure, he wasn’t usually much of a talker, but he’d never had trouble talking to Allena. If anything, she was one of the few people he felt genuinely comfortable around. But this feeling was different. He wasn’t prepared for it. He was confused. Jesus, I'm going crazy, he thought to himself.

And he didn’t want to be confused about Allena. He didn’t want to blur the lines. All he needed was for her to stay and care for his kids. He certainly didn’t need to be thinking about her walking along the beach, her lovely curves encased in a bikini top, her hips swinging sexily as she moved, or how it might feel to touch her. To run his hand through her honey-coloured hair or bring a lock to his lips...

Goddammit. He cut it off before his imagination could run any further. That was stupid of him.

And improper. She worked for him. He was her boss. The simple fact that she was employed to care for his kids should have waved like a red flag at that moment. Like it usually did.

So why was it suddenly so hard for him to shut that door? “The rain’s stopped.”

Allena’s voice pulled him from his unexpected sex-on-the-brain trance, and he quickly got to his feet. “So it has. I’ll turn off the generator and get the horses ready if you’d like to lock up.” He didn’t wait for her reply and didn’t dare look at her again. He dumped the remains of his tea in the sink, doused the fire—imagining it was his libido that was also getting put out—and left the cottage quickly, taking deep breaths as he made his way to the generator shed. Five minutes later, he had the horses ready and were waiting outside for her. She came out, her damp shirt tied around her waist.

Justin ignored her as she put on her boots but passed her his raincoat when she came down the steps and walked around Star.

“No, I couldn’t possibly—”

“Take it,” he insisted, and he pushed the coat into her hands. He sprang into the saddle and waited for her to put on the coat and mount her horse. For a city dweller, Allena had taken to horses like a seasoned pro. He’d taught her to ride soon after she started working with their family and admired her skill and determination to be an accomplished rider. “Ready?”

She nodded and pushed her Stetson down low. “Let’s go.”

The ride back to the stables would take close to an hour as the ground was muddy and slippery, and they had to be content with a brisk walk. Justin stayed in front for a few strides, checking the ground for holes or collapsed rabbit burrows. It rained again, and he got soaked through, but he ignored it and continued on. “Allena,” he said when he couldn’t stand any more of the silence, easing King to a slower pace so she could catch up.

She looked at him. “What?”

Justin tried to smile, but his jaw felt like granite. “Did you mean what you said earlier? You know about me being…appropriate?” he asked and then continued on before he lost his nerve.

“Because if I’ve ever behaved in a way that makes you feel as though you’re not completely safe, it was never intentional.”

She laughed. Laughed? When he was torn up inside, wondering if he’d ever overstepped, “Believe me, Justin, you have always been a complete gentleman. I know exactly how you feel about me.”

She did? Right. The thing was, at that moment, Justin had no freaking clue.

When they reached the ranch, Rudy was waiting for them, and they quickly dismounted. “Give them a brushdown and a feed,” he said, undiding the cinch. He didn’t wait for Allena. Didn’t want to talk to her at the moment. He didn’t want to dwell on the confusion churning through his head. Didn’t want to think about her leaving the ranch, her online fireman boyfriend, or what she looked like in a bikini. He headed directly for his bedroom at the rear of the house, ditched his clothes, and took a shower, as icy cold as he could stand. He dressed in fresh jeans, a clean shirt, and loafers, gathered up the wet clothes, and headed for the laundry room.

And bumped head-on into Allena in the doorway.

She yelled in surprise, dropping the basket in her hands. “Sorry,” she said, bent to pick it up.

She’d clearly showered and changed, and she no longer wore the skin-tight T-shirt. But the loose-fitting pink shirt she had on gaped as she bent over, revealing the soft curve of her breasts and some kind of spandex sports bra that shouldn’t have raised his blood pressure a notch but did. He ignored the inconvenient twitch suddenly rumbling through his body and grabbed the basket so she could continue picking up her clothes. The scent of her perfume, body lotion, shampoo, or something assailed him instantly, and he sucked in a breath, startled by how the mix of vanilla and spice unexpectedly alerted his senses. He’d picked up the same scent countless times before, but in the warm confines of the laundry, it was stronger and more intense, able to work its way under his skin and through his blood.

Justin cleared his throat and waited, then gently pushed the basket back into her hands.

“The kids..." Her voice trailed off.

“What?”

“They’re in the kitchen having a snack with Mittie. I’m going to play a card game with them.”

“It’s your day off,” he reminded her.

She nodded, but he noticed that her cheeks were ruddy. “I need to talk to them, you know, to tell them I’m leaving.”

“We’ll do it together.”

She looked surprised. “Oh, I thought you’d…”

“What?” he queried. “Leave you to do it alone?” He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do you?”

“No. But this morning, you said you weren’t going to play bad cop.”

“I was angry this morning,” he admitted quietly.

She looked startled by his candour. “And now?”

Now I’m just confused.

“I just want to protect my kids, Allena. That’s my job.”

Her eyes glistened, like she was fighting back emotion. Whatever was going on between them, he didn’t like to think she was upset, even if she had turned his world upside down.

“Spend whatever time you need with the kids,” he said, secretly wanting nothing more than to get away from her. “I’ll join you soon.”

She bit her lower lip, and he wondered for a moment if she wanted to ask him something, but she didn’t. She disappeared, but Justin stayed in the laundry room for a moment, loading the washing machine, then slamming the door harder than necessary. He rested his hands on the machine and took a long breath, exhaling heavily. Get a grip. He couldn’t believe how complicated things had become in a matter of hours. Yesterday, his life was perfectly normal. He had a routine. He knew what to expect. Everything was okay in his world. But Allena had blown that routine spectacularly out of the water.

Justin was tempted to lock himself in his office for an hour or so to help get the chaos out of his head. Work always cleared his thoughts. After Jayne and his mom had died, it was work that got

him through the tough days. That, and stepping up to be both mother and father to his kids. And of course, soon after, there was Allena. Like an angel, she’d picked up the scattered pieces and brought calm to the chaos.

Justin sighed. Hiding in his office wasn’t the answer. Allena planned on telling the kids and he needed to be there when she did. He stretched his back as his gut rumbled. The day had been so dramatic he’d forgotten to eat. He left the laundry and walked to the kitchen, finding his kids at the table, playing a game of Go Fish with Allena. She looked up when he entered the room, her lovely mouth curling into a smile at the edges.

Lovely mouth?

Where on earth did that come from?

Justin shook his head, moved around the countertop and opened the refrigerator, acutely aware that she was watching his every move, but trying to look as though she wasn’t.

“Where’s Mittie?” he asked.

“In her room,” Allena replied. “She said she had an email to send to her travel agent.”

“Did you tell her…” His voice trailed off and he shrugged lightly.“Yes.”

“Daddy,” Cassie said and turned, grinning in the way that always made Justin’s heart flip over.

“Jayden doesn’t play fair.”

Allena laughed softly and the sound echoed around the room. Had he ever noticed before how sweet and husky her laugh was? He met her gaze, half smiled for a second and then stopped rummaging through the refrigerator for a snack. His daughter didn’t quite know the rules of the game, but she certainly knew when her brother was cheating.

“Jayden,” he said with one brow raised. “No cheating, okay, sport?”

Jayden shrugged and widened his eyes innocently. “Sure, Dad.” Justin returned to the refrigerator and spotted a leftover serving of lasagna. He unwrapped the dish, then popped it into the microwave. Before he pressed the timer, Allena spoke. “Ah, Jayden… Cassie,” she said quietly, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

Justin noticed that her hands were pressed flat on the table. She was nervous and he saw real pain in her expression. He tried being mad at her and failed. The truth was, she’d given far more than she’d taken over the years. He came around the counter, perched on the edge of a stool and waited for her to speak.