Chapter 13
Justin frowned. What was with everyone today? First his grandmother, now Mitch? “I don’t plan on competing with anyone. She wants to leave so she can get married. Probably to this," he gestured in frustration, "stranger.”
Mitchael grinned. “That might be a little premature. She’s never actually met this guy, right?”
He shrugged. “Not yet, but they’ve been corresponding for months, apparently. I’m just as confused by the whole thing as you are. Maybe Tess can talk some sense into her.”
“Don’t count on it,” Mitchael replied. “My wife thinks it’s romantic and has volunteered to be with Allena when she meets this guy.”
What?
Justin tossed his hands in the air. “Great! Has everyone lost their minds in the last twenty-four hours?”
“Possibly,” Mitch said, laughing again. “Tess said her sister has been thinking about it for some time.”
“Nice to be told.” Jesus!
“You can be a hardass,” Mitchael said, grinning. “Maybe she avoided telling you because she knew you wouldn’t listen rationally.”
What the fuck? “I’m rational,” Justin corrected. Well, not always.
“When it suits you,” Mitchael supplied. “And you were never going to be rational about this.”
“Why do you say that?”
Mitch rolled his eyes. “Because, my friend, you can’t live without her.”
Justin heard the truth in the other man’s words but didn’t want to consider it. He didn't want to question what it meant. “What?” he said, exasperated.
“Put it this way,” Mitch said quietly, resting his back on the hood of the SUV. “You rely on Allena completely. She's been the one constant in your life since you lost your wife and your mom, hasn’t she?”
“Yes.” Justin shrugged. “I…well…yes, I guess so.”
“So, it makes perfect sense that you didn’t see this coming, because you weren’t looking for it.”
“Because I’m so wrapped up in myself, you mean?” he suggested sarcastically, not liking the way the words sounded. “Thanks for setting me straight.”
Mitchael shook his head. “There it is—that annoying arrogance. None of us are perfect—ask my wife. She’ll tell you what a pain in the ass I am. Genetic dysfunction perhaps,” he said and laughed. “The thing is, you have to make Allena want to stay more than she wants to leave—and this guy in London you mentioned seems like all the motivation she needs to bail and race off looking for what she wants. Or maybe it’s just what she thinks she wants.”
Justin scowled. “You’re not helping.” What the hell?
"Sure, I am,” Mitchael flipped back. “Simply work out what she wants more than this guy.”
“I do know. She wants to get married and have kids. Want to hear something funny—Mittie suggested that I should, you know, marry her?" he said humorlessly.
Mitch shrugged and offered a lopsided grin. “It’s not such a bad idea.”
“It was a joke,” Justin said, shaking his head. “Allena and I don't... we don’t think about each other that way.”
Yeah right.
Except as Justin said the words, he felt something crumble inside him. Because though it sounded like the truth—the same truth he’d believed for years—somehow, it didn’t sit right. It didn’t make sense. And he had no idea why his beliefs had shifted so suddenly. The idea of losing Allena rocked the very foundations of his life, and Mitch was right—he didn’t want to lose her. But marriage? How could they? It wasn’t logical, was it?
“Would you rather watch as she marries someone else?” his cousin asked.
Of course not.
Justin jerked his attention back to him. “What?”
“Because that’s what will happen,” Mitch said bluntly. “Maybe it won’t be this guy, but it will be someone one day. And since you’re in a position to do something about it, then do something about it. The fact is, your dead wife wouldn’t want you to be alone.”
Justin knew that. But the truth was, he didn’t feel alone. He had his family, his kids. And Allena. He ignored the twitch in his gut. “Marriage isn’t the answer.”
Mitch shrugged. “And it won’t be,” his cousin said flatly. “Not while you’re still wearing your wedding ring.”
Justin glanced down at the narrow band on his left hand. Most days, he forgot it was there. Anyway, Allena didn’t want him in that way. She wanted her fireman's online love. Changing the rules and the dynamics of their relationship would be plain stupid. And he wasn’t stupid. He might be a hard-ass. He might be arrogant. He might be a whole lot of things, but he wasn’t about to start making any kind of fool of himself in a desperate attempt to get her to stay. Not a chance.
“Awww! He’s so beautiful, Tess,” Allena said as she rocked her sleeping nephew in her arms, staring lovingly at his perfect little face.
Tess sighed and sat on the opposite sofa in the huge living room. “I know. Some days I can’t believe how lucky I am, considering everything that happened.”
Allena met her sister’s gaze. Years ago, the first time around that she’d married Mitch, Tess had endured several failed pregnancies. It was why her marriage to Mitchael had ended. But now she had her son and the devotion of the only man she’d ever loved. Of course, Allena was a little envious, but she was also genuinely happy for her sister. And she wanted that same happiness for herself—including a husband and a baby. Her clock was ticking. And her life needed to change if she was going to get what she wanted.
“Mitchael is a lucky man. I can’t imagine how good it must feel spending each day with the person you love most in the world,” she said and sighed. Tess raised a brow. “Can’t you?”
Allena’s cheeks heated. She knew what Tess meant. “It’s not the same thing.”
Her sister regarded her with gentle understanding. “I still think you should lay it all out. What have you got to lose?”
“You mean besides complete humiliation? And my pride?”
“That’s your emotions talking,” Tess said softly.
“Exactly,” she replied and smiled. “I’m a sucker for them. That’s what got me into this mess.”
“You fell in love,” Tess reminded her.
“And now I have to fall out of love,” she said quietly, looking at Cassie, who sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, playing with a couple of Charlie’s stuffed toys. “No problem.”
Tess offered a gentle nod. “But it’s not just one person you have to fall out of love with, is it?” Tess asked intuitively.
Allena swallowed the lump burning her throat. Her heart was breaking merely thinking about leaving Cassie and Jayden—imagining how she’d be when she actually left, she didn’t bear considering—unless she wanted to fall into a heap.
She looked at the photographs on the mantel, including a recent photograph of the entire family, taken at Mitchael and Tess’s wedding. Allena found herself in the picture, holding Cassie, standing beside Justin. To an outsider, it would look as though they were very much a family unit. But looks were deceiving. True, they had always treated her like family, and she genuinely liked them, particularly Mitchael’s sister. And since she is a good friend.
Would she be regarded as Tess’s stepsister and nothing more? The memory of her would fade. Particularly if she moved away to somewhere like London.
Bobby. She’d barely spared him a thought in the last twenty-four hours. He’d texted her that morning, and she’d held off responding. She wasn’t sure why. Perhaps because her emotions were in such turmoil and she didn’t want to add any fuel to her already fractured feelings.