Chapter 16

“You know, Justin’s being more unbearable than usual at the moment,” Justin’ sister, Leah, said.

Allena didn’t disagree.

It was after ten the following morning, and she was in the kitchen with Leah and Mittie, chatting about the older woman’s upcoming Asian tour. Leah was several years younger than her brother and a talented artist as well. She was also much more naturally outgoing than he was—easier to warm up to, which was why Allena had befriended her so quickly when they met.

Allena shrugged and took the coffee cup. Mittie passed her and replied to Leah. “I guess he’s got things on his mind.”

“He’s got you on his mind,” Mittie announced, grinning broadly.

Allena almost spluttered her coffee across the table. “What?”

“Granny,” Leah said and sighed. “Stop making things worse.”

Allena looked at Leah and smiled. “Your grandmother is only—”

“Stirring,” Leah said, raising both her brows. “We all know what Justin is like.”

“Don’t we just?" Mittie said and chuckled. “I love my grandson, but he’s one of those men who are never comfortable talking about their feelings. Even when his wife and mother died, he closed down a lot. For a while, I was concerned he’d never get over it. But I think he has, even if he’s not ready to admit it. I don’t know why he doesn’t just beg you to stay.”

Beg? Allena laughed out loud. “I can’t see that happening, can you? And anyway, it wouldn’t make any difference.”

“Because of Bobby?” Leah queried.

Both women now knew about her online friendship with Bobby. “Because,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “it’s time I moved on.”

Mittie disappeared into the pantry, and Leah spoke again.

“My brother’s an idiot,” she said and harrumphed.

Allena felt heat rise up her collarbone. “I don’t know what you—”

“I know, Allena,” Leah said gently. “I know why you’re leaving.”

The heat morphed into embarrassment, and she sucked in a breath. How could she know? The only person who knew what was in her heart was her sister, and Tess would never betray her trust by saying anything. And heaven knew Allena had developed a tight lid on her feelings around the ranch. “I think you have the wrong idea. I just want to—”

Leah came around the countertop and gently squeezed her shoulder, and as she regarded the woman, Allena experienced an unwavering sense of understanding. Of kinship. Of sisterhood. But she wouldn’t show it. She couldn’t. It was too humiliating.

“Allena?”

Justin’s deep voice had them turning their gazes to the doorway. She wondered what he’d heard and then quickly got to her feet.

“Our first appointment is here.”

With a steady glance towards Leah, Allena left the kitchen and followed Justin into his large office.

A woman who looked to be in her midforties, with hair pulled back tightly from her face and wearing a neat black pantsuit, was already seated. Allena shook her hand as Justin introduced them.

Five minutes later, Allena knew she’d never allow the woman to watch over the kids. She was cold and uncompromising, mentioned nothing about having any affection for or continuing contact with her previous charges, and was clearly a strict disciplinarian. The interview lasted about twenty minutes, and Allena was just about prepared to stand up and tell the woman to get out when Justin ended the meeting and escorted the applicant to the front door, saying he’d get back to her by the end of the week. Once he returned to the office, Allena was standing by the window, arms crossed.

“So, what did you think?” he asked and moved around the desk.

Allena stared at him. “Of that woman? Very little.”

His gaze narrowed. “That’s pretty harsh.”

“She is completely unsuitable.”

“Really?” His brows came up as he sat down in his chair, swiveled around and faced her. “Why?”

She expelled a heavy breath. “She was…she was…cold. And unfeeling.”

“Well, maybe that’s for the best. Maybe I’d be wiser to find someone the kids won’t get too attached to, so they don’t suffer so much when the person leaves.”

It was a direct dig, and they both knew it. She didn’t respond. Didn’t say a word.

He looked at her, then laughed. “The truth is hard to handle, Allena?”

She ignored the fact that he was laughing at her. “Look, they’re your kids, and you can make any decision you want, but you asked me for my opinion, and I’m giving it. That woman will make your life a living hell.”

Justin’s mouth turned up slightly. “Unlike you, you mean?” he quipped as he shuffled a few papers on his desk.

“Oh, so you want someone who says yes to everything?”

“I want someone who’ll stay,” he replied tightly.

It was a low blow, designed to make her feel bad—which it did. He was so wrapped up in his own world that he really had no clue what it was doing to her. “See you later,” she said, turning to leave the room.

“Hang around,” he said quickly. “Our next appointment will be here in a few minutes.”

“I’ll come back.”

“Or wait,” he said, looking up and motioning to one of the seats opposite. “And we could talk.”

Her suspicions rose. “About what?”

“The kids, of course.” He met her gaze head-on. “We both know they are struggling at the moment. Jayden’s closing off, and Cassie isn’t sleeping at night. I’m worried about my kids, Allena.”

Her insides crunched up. “I know that. So am I.”

“But not enough to reconsider, right?”

“Did you really think I’d stay forever?” she asked quickly.

He got to his feet in a microsecond. “I don’t know,” he said with a sigh. “The truth is, I didn’t think. Things have been a certain way around here for so long, I just got used to it.”

“I became invisible, you mean?” she asked sharply.

“That’s not what I mean,” he said, clearly exasperated.

Well, he wasn’t the only one.

“I’m not sure what changed for you,” he said, continuing the conversation. “But for some reason, whenever I ask why you’re leaving, you make me feel as though I have done something wrong, and all I want to do is fix it.”

Allena held on to her resolve. She wouldn’t fall apart. Wouldn’t crumble. Wouldn’t let him see how much she was hurting.

“You can’t fix it,” she replied, adrenaline seeping through her veins. “I know you want things to stay the same, because this,” she said and waved an arm in an arc, “the way things are, is easy foryou. You have it all under control. All your ducks in a row. However, I want a different life. And if you can’t see that,” she said, her voice rising with each word, “then you’re selfish as well as blind.”

His gaze narrowed. “If your opinion of me is so low, I’m surprised you’ve hung around for the last four years. Frankly, I can’t believe you didn’t bail ages ago.”

“Maybe I should have,” she said hotly, humiliation scorching her cheeks. “At least that way I wouldn’t love—” She stopped abruptly, realising she was a word away from completely embarrassing herself.

“You wouldn’t love?”

“The kids,” she replied, her skin burning when she saw the way his brows rose up as he looked at her. “I wouldn’t love the kids as much as I do.”

“And yet,” he reminded her. “You’re still leaving them. You’re leaving us!”

“And the fact you continue to—”

“Ah, guys,” a voice said from the doorway. “Your next appointment is here.”

They both turned and spotted Leah standing there. Justin spoke quickly. “Of course, I’ll see her in.”

“And would you guys stop arguing,” Leah said, shaking her head. “We could hear you from the kitchen.”

Allena crossed her arms. “Sorry.”

“What’s going on with you two?” Leah said and frowned. “It’s like you can’t even bear to be in the same room as each other.”

“We weren’t arguing,” Justin said quietly. “And even if we were, it wouldn’t be anyone’s business,” he said as he headed from the room.

Leah made a face in Allena’s direction. “Phew, Allena, please reconsider leaving—I’m afraid my brother is going to go loco the day you walk out.”

“He’ll get over it,” she said, shrugging. “And for the record, he was right; we weren’t arguing; we were simply having a discussion.”

Leah grinned. "Yeah, sure you were. I have to get going, but call me if you need to talk,” she said and then added, “about anything.”

Once Leah was gone, Allena lingered by the window, looking outside to where Justin had already greeted the next applicant. This one was young. Very young. And perky. And blond. With legs encased in leggings that seemed to go on forever.

Okay, nothing wrong with leggings. Plenty of women wore them. She wore them all the time!

Although perhaps not for a job interview with a sexy single dad.

Her name, which Allena discovered a couple of minutes later, once they were all seated in the office, was Becca. She was twenty years old and had recently finished studying fashion design at the technical college in the city. She loved kids, of course, and would like nothing more than to look after the children, since she’d had so much experience babysitting during her high school years.

“I exercise every day, and I could take the kids on power walks, so we’d have a lot of fun together,” the younger woman said. “And it would be a healthy activity,” she added with so much exuberance that Allena rolled her eyes and then glanced towards Justin, immediately noticing that he was watching her. She turned her gaze to the floor, ignoring the heat in her own cheeks and the tiny smile on his mouth. Because he clearly knew she was unimpressed with Becca’s credentials. Or lack thereof!

By the time the post-teen was finished talking about herself, another ten minutes had passed. Once Justin escorted her out, promising to be in touch, Allena stalked around the room, arms crossed, irritation rising with every breath she took. By the time he returned, she was rolling her eyes.

“Seriously?” she said to him before he’d barely entered the room.

“What?” he said.

“Were they the best candidates?”

“Of the recommendations I could get on short notice? I thought so.”

She frowned. “Then you need to broaden your search. Maybe even look farther than this town.”

“Sure,” he said easily.

Too easily.

“Are you saying that simply to get me off your back?”

One brow rose, and his mouth curled at the corners. “I didn’t realise you were on my back.”

The innuendo hung in the air between them, and she coloured hotly. “What’s gotten into you?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Although I think we both know this sudden infatuation with the fireman is the real reason you are, "

“Do you want to know the real reason?” she asked hotly, cutting him off. “And it’s one that hasn’t got anything to do with me wanting my own life, or Bobby, or anything else.”

His gaze locked with hers. “Please…enlighten me.”

Allena pushed back her shoulders and expelled a long breath. “It’s because it’s just too hard to be around you anymore!”