Chapter 18

“Has Justin found your replacement yet?”

Allena smiled at her sister as she stretched out on the yoga mat. Tess has started attending the classes with her and she was delighted for the company. Hanging out with her sister was one of her favourite things to do. And Thursday night yoga class was their opportunity to talk and catch up. Justin usually finished work early on

Thursdays and spent extra time with the children, which gave her a free evening. “No,” she replied and stretched out her calves. “He has another two interviews scheduled for tomorrow. Both applicants with the right references.” She’d told her sister about the two unsuitable candidates they’d interviewed the day before. She hadn’t told her about the argument or the kiss. Mostly because she couldn’t believe it actually happened. Her lips still tingled at the memory. Her heart ached knowing he’d said it was a mistake. Which of course it was, and obviously it didn’t mean anything. But Tess was a romantic and would read way more into it than it actually meant.

After the yoga class they lingered for twenty minutes at the gym café, chatting over a green smoothie. “Have you heard from Bobby?” Tess asked and grinned.

She nodded. “Most days we trade a couple of texts.”

“Have you made any firm plans to meet him?”

She shook her head a fraction. “I didn’t want any more complications. You know…while I’m still living at the ranch.”

“And once you’re not living there?” Tess probed.

“Then there will be no reason why we can’t meet up, see if there’s something between us worth pursuing.”

“Well, from what you’ve said, he seems very nice. And he obviously likes you,”

Tess added and grinned. “And you like him, right?”

“Of course,” she replied.

“You should invite him here,” her sister said as she finished her smoothie. “So we can check him out.”

“That’s what Justin said, too.”

Tess raised a brow quizzically. “So, how are things between you two?”

Forever changed…

“Okay,” she replied.

Tess nodded, but Allena knew her sister could see through her assurances. “By the way, how are you going with your speech for the christening?”

Happy for the change of subject, she smiled. “Good. I’m honored, you know, to be named Charlie’s godparent,” Allena said, a lump of emotion in her throat. “I know there are a lot of people you and Mitchael could have named as—”

“Of course it’s you,” Tess said, cutting her off. “Well, you and Justin.”Allena jerked back in her seat. “Justin? I thought Jake would be—”

“Justin is Mitchael’s closest friend,” Tess reminded her. “As well as his cousin. And we both trust Justin, like we trust you. There are no two people we would trust more to love our son.”

Allena’s eyes burned. “Thank you. And I promise I will always—”

“I know,” Tess said and patted her arm. “I thought perhaps you’d like to stay at the villa for a while, once you leave your job.”

She told her sister about how she’d booked a room at the town’s hotel for a few days. “I think the hotel will be better,” she replied and smiled. “Once I make some firm plans about the future, I’ll let you know.”

“I hope you stay with us,” Tess said, her eyes shining. “I love being able to see you so often. Selfish, I know,” Tess added. “But I feel like a better version of myself when we’re in the same town. And I want my son to really know his aunt.”

Allena hugged her sister. “I want that, too.”

By the time Allena returned to the ranch it was past nine o’clock. She knew the kids would be asleep and Mittie usually turned in around eight thirty as she was an early riser. She spotted the office light on through the front window, and figuring Justin was working and the coast was clear, headed to the kitchen for a snack.

Justin, however, wasn’t in his office. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a small stack of documents in front of him, his legs stretched out, a coffee mug in one hand.

“Oh, hi,” she said and moved around the countertop.

He looked up and his mouth crinkled at the edges. “Hey there. How was your class?”

Allena nodded. “Both exhausting and relaxing. What are you doing?” she asked, trying to sound casual, and trying not to think about how the mood between them had become increasingly awkward. And trying not to think about the kiss.

“Résumés,” he replied and pushed one across the table. “For our interviews tomorrow. The one on top is for the woman who used to be a schoolteacher. She’s been looking after her grandchildren for the past three years while her daughter was deployed overseas. Now her daughter has finished her tour, she's available to work a few days a week, dividing her time between her grandkids and a job.”

Allena’s back straightened. “You’re thinking of getting someone part-time?”

He nodded. “For the time being. I don’t want to commit to a full-time nanny at this stage. I know the kids need routine and stability, but this is a good opportunity for me to make a few changes.”

Allena came toward the table. “What kind of changes?”

“Taking on other masterals, for starters, it was Chase's idea,” he said and straightened, pulling his legs beneath the table. “My client base has grown to the point where I need to look at sharing the load, which will give me more time at home.” He met her gaze levelly.

Allena’s insides contracted. “Justin, you’re a great dad and the kids adore you.”

She hesitated, knowing how the mention of his late wife tended to affect him. “Jayne would be really proud of how well you take care of them.”

“I’d like to think so. When the kids were younger it seemed easier somehow. Of course, some ways are harder, sleepless nights and diapers and teething. But now, they’re little people and need a different kind of care. Cassie was only a couple of months old when Jayne died, but the truth is, I was working all the time and Jayne was always happiest in the air.” He smiled, as though lost in thought and memory for a moment. “I never really understood, I suppose. She had an adventurous spirit and a need to be free.”

“I’m sure she knew you loved her.” Allena quickly wished she could swallow the words back. She didn’t need to think about how much Justin had adored his wife.

And probably still did.

He nodded. “We met in college, we dated, we got engaged, we got married. It just sort of happened. We never questioned why we were together and we had a happy marriage. We didn’t argue. We didn’t make demands. I knew what was important to her and she knew what was important to me. I guess you could say we grew up together. Marriage is about compromise.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

His eyes widened. “But you do want to get married, correct?”

Allena nodded, hoping he couldn’t see the heavy flush rising up her neck. “Yes.”

“And you think the fireman is the man for you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

It was an impossibly personal question and she couldn’t believe he was asking it. But there was no doubting the curiosity in his expression. Allena swallowed hard and took a short breath. “Once,” she admitted.

“And what happened?”

She quickly caught the gasp in her throat. “He didn’t love me back.”

Justin’s eyes darkened. “Stupid man.”

“I’ve always thought so,” she said and quickly moved around the counter and grabbed a glass, then poured some water. She drank a little before looking up and discovered Justin watching her intently. “What?”

He got to his feet and came to the countertop, resting his palms down on the bench. “We haven’t really talked about what happened yesterday.”

The heat in her cheeks intensified. “I’d rather not rehash it,” she said, dying inside, not wanting to hear about how sorry he was for kissing her because he believed it was such a big mistake. She looked at the clock. “Well, it’s late, and I’ve got to get the kids to school in the morning. Good night.” She put her glass in the sink and turned to head for the back door. “I was thinking we could take the kids out for pizza tomorrow night,” he said, not moving. “I know they want to spend as much time with you as they can before…” He swallowed. “Well, before you go.”

Allena didn’t think it was a good idea. For a hundred reasons. But the idea of upsetting the children was impossible to bear, so she nodded. “Sure, sounds great.”

He straightened. “Good night, Allena. Sleep well.”

Allena turned and set off for her room as though her heels were on fire.