Chapter 22

On Wednesday afternoon, Justin got home to find Mitchael’s horse trailer by the tables, and Allena bringing Star through the corral gate. “I didn’t expect you today,” Justin said as his cousin approached and shook his hand.

“I’m boarding Allena’s horse for a while,” Mitchael explained. “I thought you knew.”

“I forgot,” he replied, his stomach sinking.

As he spoke, Allena noticed him and immediately averted her gaze, loading her horse up the ramp. Once she was done, Mitchael closed the tailgate and bolted it securely in place.

“Thank you,” she said to his cousin, ignoring Justin.

“No problem,” Mitchael replied. “I’ll take good care of him. I’ll get him settled in and

call you later to know how he’s doing.”

She thanked him again, glancing briefly towards Justin. “I’m going to see the kids,” she said. “They want to watch the kittens play.”

She walked off towards the stables, her hips swinging and her head at a tight angle. “Things a little frosty around here, I take it?” Mitch said and grinned once she had disappeared.

“A little.”

“Got anything you want to tell me?”

He rolled his eyes, and Justin’s gut sank. “I guess Allena told Tess, and your wife told you.”

“I heard something about a marriage proposal.”

Justin’s back straightened. “It was just a—”

“You know, you can’t expect to put a ring on the finger of a woman you haven’t even taken on a date.”

“We’ve been out together plenty of times,” Justin replied, desperate to ignore the heat clawing at the back of his neck. “In fact, last Friday we went to the—”

“I mean without two kids or a couple of grandparents as company,” Mitch said, cutting him off again. “And anyway, the last time we talked about this, you said you and Allena didn’t think about each other in that way, and it was a ridiculous idea.”

He shrugged. “I know what I said.”

“What changed your mind?”

Justin sighed. "I don't know,” he said, unable to articulate the thoughts in his head. “The kids don’t want to lose Allena, and she said she wants to get married. So I just did it. It made sense at the time.”

“And now?”

Justine shrugged again. “Does it matter? She said no, end of story.”

“Jesus! You are such an asshole.” Mitch laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Man, you’re so screwed. Look, Justin, I have to get going, but let me give you some advice. I know you mean well, I do. Go with that. Just try not to be too." Mitch sighed. “Try to put yourself in her shoes and think about how she feels. Okay? Allena is my wife’s sister, remember? We don’t want to be in the middle of your romantic entanglements.”

“Then stay out of it,” Justin said irritably. “I know what I’m doing.”

"Are you sure about that?” Mitchael asked more seriously. "It looks like all you’re doing is hurting someone we all care about.”

“I’d never hurt Allena,” he said flatly, conscious of how the very notion made his insides vibrate with a kind of uneasiness he wasn’t used to.

“Glad to hear it,” Mitchael replied. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you asked her to marry you just because it made sense at the time.”

Shit… I am screwed!

Justin ignored the other man’s gibe, and once Mitchael left, considered joining his family in the stables but then decided against it.

He headed back to the house, a heavy feeling pressing down on his shoulders. Soon enough, it was Friday again. He was at work, trying to concentrate. Allena was leaving in a week. The new nanny started on Monday. A new routine would be set. Usually, he liked routine and order. But nothing about his current situation gave him comfort.

He checked his watch. Two fifty. Time to go and pick up Jayden from school. He’d made arrangements with Allena that morning, as he’d promised his son they could go to the store and purchase cat collars for the kittens. Three, since Justin had been conned into keeping three out of the litter. The other four were already promised good homes, thanks to Allena.

He'd barely seen her all week and certainly hadn’t repeated the marriage proposal offer. The truth was, he’d lain as low as he could, not exactly avoiding her but steering clear of any real confrontation.

Justin had spent most of the week hanging out with the kids as much as possible.

Allena, too, he knew, lingered when she said good-night or when she helped Jayden with his homework or read a story to Cassie at bedtime. They’d met the new nanny and seemed to like her well enough, but both kids were clinging to Allena more than usual.

It was five o’clock by the time they arrived home, and after dropping a stack of files into his office, he headed to the kitchen. Jayden had already raced to the stables to show Rudy the kitten collars, with instructions to be back in ten minutes. His grandmother and sister were behind the counter, decorating a large blue-and-white cake, and Cassie was sitting at the counter beside Igor, happily licking a wooden spoon smothered in frosting. Justin kissed his daughter’s head and accepted the coffee cup Leah passed him across the counter.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, one brow up.

“Fine,” he lied. “Cake looks good.”

“It’s the trial cake for Charlie’s christening,” Mittie said.

“Can we still eat it?” Igor asked and grinned.

“Not until I send a few photos to Tess and we get a thumbs-up,” Leah said, chuckling, and starting to take snapshots on her phone.

Jayden came in through the back door, and once he showed off the kitten collars,

hung around the counter, ogling the cake. “Can we eat it before dinner, Dad?” he asked.

“Not a chance, sport,” Justin said and grinned, then cleared his throat a little.

"Ah, is Allena around?”

“She’s packing,” Leah said quietly, clearly aware that the kids were listening. “I said I’d watch Cassie for a while.”

“I hate that Allena’s leaving,” Jayden said unexpectedly and then hiccuped.

Me, too…

And he also hated that he’d made such a fool out of himself with his idiotic proposal. Of course, she’d refused him. The very idea was ludicrous. He should never have done it. But seeing her with the kids and witnessing her affection for them had done something to his judgement. It had addled his brain. Plus, she was so damn beautiful that he couldn’t think straight when he was around her. It was panic, that’s all. A lapse in his good sense.

“I love Allena,” Cassie said, pouting. “I’m going to miss her so much.”

Me, too, kid... me too.

Justin caught the breath in his throat. What is wrong with me? He’d been in love—he knew the feeling. Love was easy and didn’t give a person sleepless nights. Love wasn’t about being angry, resentful, or plain old disappointed. Love didn’t hurt. But losing Allena to some online boyfriend did. A lot.

“We all love Allena,” Leah said, trying to smile, pointedly looking in Justin’s direction. “But sometimes,” she said, looking back towards Jayden, “people have to leave.”

“Like Mommy did?” his son asked, clearly unhappy.

Justin took Jayden’s hand and led him to the table, gently gesturing for him to sit. He sat beside his son and held his small hand steady between his palms. “Your mommy loved you and Cassie more than anything, and she didn’t want to go away. And Allena doesn’t want to leave you, either. She just has things she has to do. And she can only do them if she leaves.”

“What kind of things?”

“Grown-up things,” Justin said, ruffling Jayden’s hair and then hugging him affectionately. “It’ll be alright—I promise. I’m here; your great-grandma is here, as are Dada and Aunt Leah. Now, how about you go and get cleaned up for dinner, and afterward, we’ll have some cake?”

Jayden nodded and quickly disappeared from the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, Leah spoke.

“He’s taking it so hard.”

“I know. But he has all of us. He’ll get through it,” Justin said, knowing he sounded cold but also knowing he had to keep his resolve and not show how torn up he was. “He has to.”

“What about you?” his stepdad asked. “Will you get through it?”

Justin shook his head. “Don’t start.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually going to let her go,” Igor said quietly.

“It’s her decision,” he said, ignoring the sudden pounding at his temple.

“Frankly, I’m tired of talking about it,” he said, quickly leaving the room.

Thirty seconds later, despite knowing he was asking for trouble, he tapped on Allena’s door.

It opened soon after, and he noticed she was breathing hard.

“Everything okay?”

“Nothing an extra ten inches of height wouldn’t fix,” she said, pulling her sweater onto her shoulder after it slipped down.

Justin did his best to ignore the action. “What?”

“I can’t reach the shoeboxes on the top shelf in my wardrobe.”

“Would you like some help?”

She hesitated for a moment and then shrugged. “Sure.”

Justin followed her through to the bedroom, and immediately he was bombarded by

a voice in his head telling him to turn around and leave.

“Up there,” she muttered and pointed inside the wardrobe. “Top shelf.”

He stepped inside the large wardrobe, and the scent of her perfume hit him with an almighty force. He reached up and extracted four shoeboxes. “Is that it?” he asked and swivelled in the small space.

She was close. And the sweater had slipped again, exposing one smooth shoulder, and he couldn’t look away. He wanted to kiss her there. Hell, he wanted to kiss her everywhere. Her mouth, her neck, and her breasts. He wanted to plunder her mouth with his own, to feel her against him, to taste her sweet lips, to feel her tongue, her sighs, and her breath. He wanted it so much that his hands tingled and his stomach churned.