Chapter 46

Her first birthday cake, her first birthday party—well, at least the first she could remember.

"Oh, Amaya, happy birthday! And I'm so sorry," Donna said. ‘Daddy wanted to stay up, but he was tired." Amaya could see the mood in the mansion was actually better without him, and then Donna apologised that the cake was home-made, which made Amaya’s eyes well up. "Chase only told me yesterday, there was no time to order one—and—"

"Yesterday?" Her head whipped around to him—that he had known all along, before she’d even told him, and that he had thought about ringing ahead and arrange all this for her...

"Did you really think I’d forget your birthday?" Chase murmured behind her ears, which made her blush.

"Oh, my! I can't believe this. I didn't expect this at all. I don't know what to say."

She opened her gifts—first, a stunning white lace nightdress from Donna. "Trust me, Amaya, my brother will love that," she hinted. There was an expensive set of body lotion and perfume from Donna, and from Chase, a beautiful gold necklace with a diamond-studded "Mine" and a pretty Mummy charm dangling bracelet, which he’d bought before he knew she really was one!

Did everything lead there?

"Happy birthday, darling. I hope you like the surprise," Chase said as he snapped it on her wrist and kissed her trembling mouth, and she wondered at what a convincing lover he made.

"Then we will know what to get you at Christmas. I'll bake a cake for you." Donna smiled as her soon-to-be husband kissed her on the forehead. "You are very kind, honey. I'm so happy to call you my wife."

Amaya looked at the happy couple, and it was too much—the unexpected kindness, the care, the cake, and the fact that there would be no family Christmas, that none of this was real...

Tiny thoughts, like flickering stars, were there on the periphery of her mind, and she was almost scared to focus on them in case they flared. "I have more surprises, though," Chase grumbled, then clapped his hand.

Tommy, her vibrant and exuberant child, had been eagerly waiting in the corner with his nanny. Bursting with excitement, he had managed to keep his secret under wraps, his eyes dancing with anticipation. Waiting for the signal from Chase. Tommy tiptoed into the living room, clutching a hand-drawn card and a small cake adorned with flickering candles. With a heart full of joy, he mustered all his energy and let out a joyous "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" in a voice that echoed through the entire house. Everyone turned around, surprised by the little boy who kept on bouncing.

And that was the only thing that Amaya heard. To the sweetest symphony of her son's unrestrained happiness, and tears of joy glistened in her eyes as she embraced her thoughtful little son.

"Oh my—"

"Happy birthday, mommy! Happy birthday!"

"How did you—" she hugged her son with tears. "How—"

Chase smiled and took Tommy from her. "See? Mommy is surprised by your plan."

"Daddy Chase, why is she crying?"

"Oh, because she is happy."

And she couldn’t speak. Tears that she had always pushed back were trickling down her cheeks. Amaya cleared her throat and looked at Chase with a questioning gaze. "How did you... I mean, we didn't talk about this?"

Chase smiled and winked at her. "When you told me that was your birthday, I called him. I managed a flight on time. In fact, they just arrived."

"But Chase, how are you going to explain..." she murmured.

"I told them, he’s mine."

Amaya swallowed a lump. And those stars flickered brighter then, as she recalled. How could she be this awful? She thought Chase was

"But—"

"Amaya, stop overthinking everything," he whispered as Tommy went to Donna’s side and embraced the woman, who seemed very happy about the hug.

"We need to talk about—"

"Amaya, let's enjoy the cake, shall we?"

"Stop interrupting me—"

"Then stop worrying."

Cakes and presents, the love, and the welcoming vibe from Chase’s family made her want to cry. Her heart burst into surprising longing. With people she didn’t know, it wasn’t the time to be exploring her feelings, so again she squashed them down, plastered a smile on her face, and carried on with the celebration.

Except Chase noticed her anguish.

A few hours later, "Okay, people, it's time for bed," he announced, and there was an endless round of kissing and goodnights, so that rather than being nervous about being led to his bedroom, by the time they got there, she was actually relieved.

"I'm sorry about Tommy, it's past his bedtime," she grumbled.

Relieved when he closed the door and it was just the two of them.

"I know, that's why I sent him with the nanny to the spare bedroom next to ours."

"I'll go now. Tommy needs—" she tried to make light of it to Chase.

"What’s going on, Amaya?" He meant it this time; he wasn’t going to be fobbed off again, but she couldn’t tell him, just couldn’t go there with Chase—not with a man who didn’t really want to get involved with her.

And then her phone rang, it was Mary and her husband Tyler wishing her a happy birthday and teasing her about looking for a date or maybe a blind date, to which Chase frowned. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, then put her head in her hands and listened to Mary talk about her twins.

Ten minutes later, the call ended as she walked to the door.

"You can't leave. They knew we were sharing a bed."

With a defeated sigh, she didn't argue.

Oh, what was the point of arguing it with him anyway? Instead, she headed for the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and slipped on her purple-striped pyjamas, and when she came out of the bedroom, she looked so young, so vulnerable, and just so lovely that, for Chase, there was no question.

Sex was off the agenda.

She was just too raw and vulnerable right now. He did have some moral guidelines, and to have her fall in love with him only for him to then break it off. Well, he didn’t think he could do it to her.

He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, as she climbed into bed beside him.

"Don't think about anything else, just close your eyes, Amaya." Chase murmured, "You can close the lampshade if you want."

Every laugh, every word, and every chink of glass had him on edge—hell.

What did she have to be this beautiful and alluring for if he couldn't even touch her?

What's the point of this present marriage if he can't—

Damn it! He thought.

He wanted to lose himself in sex, wanted to block everything out except the smell, feel, and taste of her. He could hear her crying quietly beside him; he hated tears more than anything and resisted tenderness at all costs, and yet there was no avoiding her tears, no place to escape to tonight.

"Amaya." He spoke gently into the darkness. "Do you want to talk?"

"No!" She was sick of talking and of thinking, and now that she had started, she couldn’t stop crying.

God, he was used to women’s tears, but usually when he was ending an affair. He chose women carefully. Yes, Amaya had been a gamble, yes, he was attracted to her—to her fiery independence, to the humour, to the fire—and yet she lay beside him, suddenly fragile, and it unnerved him.

Chase put a hand on her shoulder—was that what he should do? He sort of patted it, and she even managed a small smile at his strange attempt at comfort, realising he was exquisitely uncomfortable with her display of emotion.