Chapter 71

Chase had worshipped her body, not exploited it. He had caressed it, not coerced it. He had respected it, drawing from her a depth of passion she had never given to anyone else. She hadn’t been capable of it with anyone else. Her body had never wanted anyone like it wanted him. It was as if she was programmed to respond to his touch alone. Chase leaned his weight on one elbow and used his other hand to stroke her cheek. His eyes held hers in a gentle tether that made her feel even closer to him. It was as if he had glimpsed who she really was and liked what he saw.

“You are amazing, wife.”

Amaya gave him a shy smile. Silly to be feeling so shy after what they’d just done, but still. “I don’t suppose you’ve had too many dreams like this?” He idly curled a strand of her hair around one of his fingers, the slight tug on her scalp making her shiver in delight.

“Maybe?”

“Good, because it’s nothing any man should take for granted. What pleases one woman might not please another. Communication is the key and, of course, respect.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I don't know,” Chase smirked.

She traced her fingertip around the sculpted perfection of his mouth, her core giving a little aftershock at the thought of the ecstasy his sensual mouth and potent body had given her. Pleasure she could still feel in every cell of her flesh like the echo of a far-off bell. A thought suddenly crept up on her. What if Chase ceased to be satisfied with her? What if he became bored and went in search of someone else?

Chase smoothed a fingertip over her forehead. “You’ve got that frowning look again. What’s troubling you?”

Everything…

From you being a good lover to you being a stranger, she thought to herself.

Amaya let out a sigh. “Nothing.” He pressed his thumb pad on her bottom lip, moving it in a slow back-and-forth stroking motion. “Talk to me, Amaya. It is good to communicate verbally and physically, yes?” She couldn’t quite meet his coal-black gaze and aimed for his stubbly chin instead. “I guess I’m wondering how long this will last.”

He brought her chin up so her gaze meshed with his. “This?” Amaya licked her lower lip, tasting the salt of his thumb pad. “Us. Having…sex. Don’t most married couples drift into a less passionate relationship over time? What will you do then? Find someone else?”

A frown formed a bridge between his eyes. “Didn’t you hear me promise to be faithful above all others when we married? While we’re officially married, I will be faithful, as I expect you to be.” While we’re officially married, Amaya searched his gaze, wondering, hoping, and praying. He meant every word. But how could she be sure? Didn’t most people mean those vows at the time they spoke them? She was surprised to find she had meant them. She might not really love him, but she still meant to honour the commitment as far as it was possible to do so.

She gushed, “But our situation is a little different. We’re not starting our marriage at the same place as other couples. What if you fall in love with someone? Someone you meet at work or wherever?”

His finger captured another tendril of her hair and began toying with it. “What if you fall in love with someone? I mean, you know—” Amaya had trouble holding his penetrating gaze. She pushed out of his hold, swung her legs off the bed, and reached for something to cover her nakedness. His shirt was the only thing handy, and she slipped it on and crossed it over her chest without doing up the buttons. How could she fall in love with someone else when Chase was all she could think about?

“Back then, it was different. We have Tommy now,” he said.

Back then? as in, his past? And that's it? Because they have Tommy now? She thought.

“Are you sure, Chase?”

“Yes.”

She raised one eyebrow and said, “I think that’s likely to happen.”

“Really, Amaya?”

“Yes, Chase. Yes.”

He smirked. “Then why do you think it will happen to me?”

“Because it happened before,” she said. “It happens, and you can’t always control it. I worked at the cafe before; I saw lots of those bored men; and I worked as a cleaner in a firm too when the divorce attorney had many clients whose partner met someone’s gaze across a room, and that was it. End of marriage. Most never thought it would ever happen to them. They thought they had a good relationship and then were suddenly left with the heartache of being rejected by someone younger and more beautiful. It’s still easier for men to stray, especially when kids come along. It’s hard work bringing up a family, and some men can’t cope with the focus not being on them any more.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, my father is a classic example. He got tired of my mother’s depression and got someone else on the side. Lots of them over the years—both she and I lost count.”

Chase got off the bed, pulled on his trousers, and zipped them. “Not all men are your father, Amaya. Your parents’ situation was tragic, from all accounts, and wasn't solid. But don’t paint me with the same brush. It’s insulting, for one thing. And, for another, I’m not capable of the emotions you describe.”

Amaya frowned. “But you’re not incapable of feeling love. I saw the way you interacted with your family in Greece. And I know you loved them but were scared of something. Look at the way you put everything on hold yesterday and today because you said you cared about me. You care about people, Chase. You care a lot. You might not call it love, but many would.”

His tilted smile had a touch of cynicism. “Yes, I care, and to some degree, that could be called love. But as for romantic love? I did that once, and it was the most foolish mistake I’ve ever made. I’m not going to repeat it.”

She furrowed. “What happened between you and your—you know, —past?”

Chase made a move to the door, but she intercepted him and stalled him with a hand on his arm.

“Talk to me, Chase,” Amaya said. “I’ve told you so much about my own stuff, but you keep your stuff to yourself. I would like to know so I can understand you better. Why did you hate me so much? but you ended up marrying me again.”

“It's none of your business, Amaya.”

“Chase... ”

He didn't answer and ignored her instead.

“Tell me, Chase. Tell me so I can understand.”

He sighed.

“Chase…” Amaya bit her lip. “Talk to me.”

"Soon but not now.." He brushed a finger over her lower lip as if to remove the sting of the bruising kiss he had pulled away from so long ago.

“It was wrong of me to take it out on you.” His hand drifted away.

Chase added, “I didn't even realise how you sacrificed yourself when I asked you for this contract.”

“I didn't have any choice.”

“I know, and what makes it worse is that you didn't say no when my father and sister asked you to marry me.”

Amaya sighed, because I've been in love with you for so long that I thought it was a dream come true. She thought to herself, yet chose not to answer him.

“Why, Amaya?" Chase asked.

“For some people, yes, I would’ve been too naive to agree with this contract. But I've been on my own since then,” she said. “I felt ready to build a life with someone. Turned out I wasn’t as ready as I thought," Amaya said as she wondered if Chase would ever be ready to settle down for life after such a disappointment. His commitment to her now was conditional. A two- or three-year marriage was hardly a lifetime commitment. No mention of love, just caring. How long was that going to be enough for her?