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Chapter 2

Once I get back to my room I’m completely frustrated after today's session I slam my bedroom door, kick off my trainers and flop onto my bed. I have been training since I was thirteen and my eighteenth birthday is approaching fast, and I have definitely come a long way, and outside of my lessons with Greta I have been sneaking into the pack house gym every night for the past year lifting weights and practising with the punching bags till my body craves sleep and I need to call it a night. However it's not enough, I can see that my shoulders are broader than most of the she-wolves and I have more muscle on me than they do but I'm still smaller and weaker than the male wolves my age.

The walls of my room are covered in posters, paintings and pictures, anything to cover up the baby pink paint that has been there since my parents painted the room when I was a baby. The room is truly a conflict of taste, a fluffy white rug and a garish pink floral bedspread atop the queen sized bed, a small weight lifting bench sits in the corner next to my desk and every shelf covered in plants, books and several knick knacks I’ve collected over the years. My mother hates “clutter” but I hate the “Princess pink aesthetic” that she has been forcing into my room. The two of us just agree to disagree, She stops telling me to get rid of my bric a brac and I have stopped asking to re-paint my walls. I just lay there for a while staring at the ceiling till I feel the simmering emotions cool within me and I’m calm enough to wash up.

With a sigh I pull myself into my ensuite bathroom and turn on the shower, while waiting for it to heat up I look at my reflection in the mirror and begin to undress, pulling off my hat my long dark hair falls out from underneath in a tight braid and after untangling the curls, and after I peel off the rest of my clothes that slightly stick to my skin from sweat.

I shiver in pure disappointment at the girl staring back at me. I don't want to be her but it's who my parents love and it's what the pack needs, so I need to just get used to her as much as it's killing me. So I drown out my thoughts under the scolding water in the shower.

“Willa Honey! Dinner in 5 minutes! “ I hear my mother call as I turn the water off.

“Coming Ma, just getting dressed” I respond trudging over to my chest of draws pulling out a pair of mens boxer briefs and a sports bra thats is at least two sizes too small, I know thats its causing damage to my ribs wearing an ill fitting bra everyday but its tight enough to hide my chest a little bit. I will be my parents' daughter and my pack’s Luna, but this is still my body and binding my chest does enough to dull the gender dysphoria enough to get me through the day. I finish the attire with a loose fitting shirt and hoodie and a pair of shorts.

I greet my mom, Luna Anne, in the kitchen with a kiss on the cheek, my Mother is exactly who you picture when you think of the perfect Luna. Ma is beautiful, with long brown hair that sits in loose curls down her back, the kindest baby blue eyes and a dimpled smile that lights up the room. She is sweet, but gets easily excited when it comes to things like dresses and makeovers. Most of all she loves fiercely, she loves my father, she loves her pack and even though I know she isn't what she expected her daughter to be I know she loves me too.

I help bring out dishes to the dining room where I find my father, Alpha Romeo is already seated and eyeing me with curiosity. I brush it off and I serve myself some of the delicious smelling roasted chicken and steamed greens my mother cooked, taking a seat.

I try to ignore his stare and start stuffing my mouth with chicken and asparagus. As I scoop up a spoonful of green peas my father breaks the silence “So darling, I heard you got hurt at training today, do I need to tell Greta to go a bit easier on you?”

“No! Please Pa! I… I mean I’m fine I was just a bit distracted today with my party coming up, you know, still have to find a pretty dress to wear” I try to play it off only to see my sweet mothers soft blue eyes light up, I wish I got her eyes but instead I got my fathers boring dark brown eyes that match my dark brown curls that I did get from her although my curls are somewhat tighter than her cascading ones.

“Oh Honey you still don't have a dress! Why didn't you say anything, your party is the day after tomorrow!” she shrieks but I can see the excitement on her face that she is not even trying to hide. This is exactly the type of thing she loves. “How about tomorrow we take a girls trip into town and find the perfect dress!”

“Sounds great ma, thanks” I try to sound happy for her but I can only feel the dread that tomorrow will bring. But for my parents I can bite my tongue and soldier through.

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