Chapter4:

You can’t .....” She burst out.

And I looked at her panicked expression and wondered what was she thinking about and as if she understood my confusion she came closer to me and held my hand.

And her eyes were staring at my hand.

For a few seconds, my face was blank as I stared back not understanding then my face flushed deeply as I looked at the ring on my left hand. It was the ring given to me by Don after he proposed to me that day. And I didn't have the heart to remove it. As we were about to get married.

“You can't wear that........If he saw that.” Cathy groaned.

“I am engaged to be married,” I said stubbornly.

Cathy looked distraught and said, “Carmen don't you understand he thinks you are still together? ”

“Well, he's wrong then. “I said firmly.

“You've got to pretend it's true just for a few moments.” Cathy cried with a sort of anguish, “It would be too much of a shock to tell him the truth Carmen, he isn't strong enough. Anything could tip the balance. Do you want his death on your conscience?

“Oh, God! I gritted my teeth. “You ask a good deal lot, Cathy.” Slowly I removed the ring of my finger. “There, I hope you are satisfied. Now I must be heading back as I need to catch the train, or I will be late. I will call you when I reach home and tell you the situation.”

"Alright Carmen but please think about it my dear as you are my only hope I know if he saw you he would get the Zeal to live," Cathy said pleadingly.

I nodded my head as I did not know how to comfort Cathy my mind was in a mess.

I exchanged my number with Mathias and walked out without looking back. When I reached back home in the evening, I was having doubts as to whether I had been sensible enough to accept Cathy's request. I did not mind meeting Marc again, but it was surely foolish of me to fly down to Milan just to make sure that he was okay. Just this last time. I thought.

I was turning restlessly on the couch and I heard Tio calling out. “Come on mum hurry up and get dinner, it’s getting late, I want to sleep early.” He complained.

“Oh no, I had forgotten about it i'm so sorry sweetheart I fell asleep.” I groaned loudly. Tio grinned at me, I stared at his likeness to his father, with his thick dark hair and long eyelashes and the deep tan, which he seemed to acquire without any effort. No one who saw them together would be able to doubt their relationship. He was the most adorable child in the entire neighbourhood, and everybody loved him.

“Okay now go out and start setting the table I will have a quick wash and come straight away, as dinner is ready I just need to heat it," I added with a smile.

Over the dinner, Tio seemed a little preoccupied, “Are you feeling okay Tio? I asked looking at him anxiously.

"What! Of course, mum I'm just thinking something …..” He answered.

“OK, so tell me what are you thinking?” I was curious to know what was going on in that little mischievous head.

He said uncertainly, “I can see that it won’t be possible for this to happen so perhaps I should not mention it…”

“Say it if you don't say it how will I know it,” I said urgently.

“Mum since you and Uncle Don are getting married pretty soon. Can we go for a holiday to Milan?” He finally let it out looking at me nervously.

I stiffened slightly. “Why are you thinking of going to Milan for a holiday, sweetheart?"

Tio shifted a little uncomfortably in his chair but continued bravely. “Well you told me that my father was born there, so I just thought I'd like to see it and also I want to tell my friends about where my father was from. Jeff is always asking me about my father, and where he came from. and everything and I do not know what to say but if I go there I can at least tell him about that place.” I looked at my six-year-old son adorably and said, “ Tio, honey your father is dead I don't think it's a good idea to start living in the past,” then I softened slightly as I saw the downcast look on his face. “Look if it makes you happy I promise that as soon as I get a long holiday from my company, I will take you to Milan, but it won't be next week or next month,” I added. Tio grinned happily and said, “It's okay Mom, any time would be fine.” He came and sat on my lap hugging me.

As I had to break the news about my trip to Milan I kissed his cheeks and said, “ Honey, Mom has to go to Milan for some work, do you think you can live with Aunt Beth for some days? I promise I won’t stay there for a long time and return as soon as possible.” “Does this trip have anything to do with my father?" Tio asked seriously. “Sort of I need to do some paperwork and I will be back. Think you can live without me for a few days? I asked hesitantly as I had never gone anywhere without him since the time he was born and so my heart was restless.

Tio smiled and kissed me on my cheeks and said, “It's okay Mom you need a break anyway. And I will be happy to stay with Aunt Beth as I can play with Jeff every day. But don’t forget to get me some souvenirs from Milan.” He added excitedly.

I was relieved as I had never left him alone and was scared to keep him at someone else’s house, but Aunt Beth was the only person who had always been there for me, so I could count on her.