Disconcerting Hurtful Memories

Aria

Two years ago, I still had no recollection of my past. However, that changed the day Henna decided to tell me about how we met. It came as a shocker because I never considered the possibility of us not even being related by blood.

I was a blissful child, even though I did not fancy any friends and I had an impeccable love for martial arts. The reason was the fact that we live alone with my aunt. Because that is what I knew Henna to be.

I needed to be able to fight or at least defend us if ever trouble came our way. But after our talk, it was no longer just for defense. I had to become stronger and go back and get justice. There was no turning back and there was not going to be any mercy.

I remember vividly, the day she came back from work and told me we needed to talk. She looked weary and defeated. I made her a cuppa and we sat down in the kitchen. It always worked for her. Whenever she had a tiring day, I knew that a cup of coffee would instantly restore her vibrant nature.

However, despite downing the coffee that day, she remained sullen. I can still recall how antsy her demeanor made me and I became anxious. She looked at me with a complicated expression before she sighed dejectedly.

"Come here, baby," Henna mumbled softly with outstretched arms.

It came naturally for me to fall into her embrace. Her warmth and her love always soothed my wrecked nerves. But on that particular day, it did anything but. And when she commenced talking, my world came crashing down.

"Now listen sweetheart, I have to tell you something that you probably will not be able to take. But the doctor has advised me not to keep you in the dark. You are growing and you deserve to know. Besides, this might help you regain your memory."

When she paused, I recall having a very bad premonition. I just knew that whatever it was, it would cause drastic changes to my life. She kissed my brow and took out her cell phone. After wiping off her tears, she gave it to me.

"Darling, I need you to watch that video, then I will explain everything to you."

I took the phone but did not play the so-called video. Henna is not a woman who minces her words. She is blunt but in a very positive way. So, I knew that whatever was in the video, would alter my way of viewing life. So, I pushed it back and looked straight into her eyes, and said my piece with obvious defiance.

"Uh, uh. No ma'am. There is no way I am watching anything. Whatever it is, you better just tell me. I want to hear it first. Let me be the one to decide after."

"Very well then. However, I need you to know that, this does not change anything. You are and will always be my baby. I love you more with each passing day. Remember that, always."

Her voice was thick with emotion and I could not help but feel emotional distress due to her sadness. She then pulled me again for a hug and requested that we go sit on the couch. After kissing my brow, she held my hands and looked at me. The pain was evident in her gaze but she shrugged and began to speak.

"Baby, forgive me please but I have withheld a lot from you. You are by law, my daughter but we are not related as I said before. The truth is, I found you."

I felt my eyes sting and my nose heat up and even Henna was not doing any better. But surprisingly, we both held back our tears. She sniffled and continued in a broken voice.

" We were camping that summer and I went out for a jog. Before I knew it, I had ventured too far into the forest.

Tired, I sat down just to gather my thoughts as well as bearings. Then I heard the sound of water flowing and because my bottle was empty, I rushed forward, happy to get a chance to quell my thirst."

She paused but I squeezed her hand to urge her on. Even though my mind was s telling me to stop her, my heart was strangely eager to know. I already felt that the story was painful but I still wanted to hear it to the end.

"However, what I saw will forever be imprinted on my mind. A little girl was simply holding on to a flowing log. Without any hesitation, I jumped in and pulled her out. I tried all I can to resuscitate her but she was not responding.

I began to panic because I knew that there was no signal in that part of the forest. Believe me, I had tried to call for help when I discovered I was lost."

Another long pause and a lot of sniffling. I could only squeeze her hands to encourage her to go on. I was not going to interrupt her. This was weighing her down and I knew that talking about it would help ease the burden.

"But heaven smiled at me, the moment I pulled the little girl out of the water. I checked my mobile phone and I had a signal. The first thing I did was call the police department. They responded swiftly. At that moment, I was not sure if the girl was alive or not. I could not feel any pulse.

I told them everything and they brought the paramedics as well. Somehow, the log kept her from drowning, which was a miracle indeed. I just knew then, that I had to be there for that little girl. Fate had brought us together."

She paused again and pulled me again for another hug. But I broke it and persuaded her to talk. I needed to know everything and she did carry on. However, she was hurting. I could see her trying to muster enough courage to carry on. She was shattered and I could see it in her eyes. Sheer agony.

"The little girl was battered in such a barbaric manner. The brutality of her perpetrators was evident in every part of her body. She had a fractured skull and two fractured limbs. She had severe cuts on her buttocks and it was pretty obvious that she had been sexually assaulted in the most despicable manner. It was so bad that it looked as if her rectum would fall off. Cigarette burns were all over her back. Her skin was broken in most places due to lashings. Even the paramedics and authorities wept. To add to that, she was severely malnourished. The mere fact that she healed remains a miracle in the medical field.

I cannot go on my love, but that little girl was you Aria. My precious gift."

I remember seeing the room spinning before a bout of nausea hit me. After emptying my lunch on the toilet, I returned to Henna. I do not know, but I think, when I puked, I puked all my nervousness, fear, and weakness that day.

When I returned to the lounge, Henna was sobbing inconsolably. I wiped off her tears and lifted her head. I held her gaze for a while before I spoke. Surprisingly, I could not cry. It was as if all my emotions flashed away with my puke. All I felt was a dark crimson shade of rage. I needed to get my memories back.

I was neither in a daze nor a state of shock. I remember that my mind was clear and I was already forming a revenge plan before she even finished telling me the whole story.

When she resumed talking, I heard only bits and pieces. I was busy trying to recall who I was before and who would hate me so much and leave me for dead. No doubt I was pretty young and could not have committed any heinous crime to deserve such a heart-wrenching detriment.

Henna continued to tell me of my journey to recovery and loss of memory. After she stopped talking, I looked at her and extended my hand.

"I am ready to watch that video now. Please Henna, I need to do this."

She wanted to say something but I stopped her and she reluctantly handed me the phone. The agony, the anger the need for revenge, and the gut-wrenching pain I felt that day, are still engraved on my very soul.

There was nothing recognizable about me in that little girl. A bloodcurdling scream filled the whole house. It was only when Henna held me that I realized it was me screaming. That video triggered an emotional turmoil in me that I am not sure I ever recovered from.

The girl in the video was ghastly. Of course, she was a younger, very unrecognizable version of me. The sheer brutality of the damage done to her body was shattering. Luckily, the river washed away the blood and gore but did nothing to seal the wounds. Something was protruding from my anus and there was a deep gash extending from my shoulder blade to the waist.

I felt a cold and numbing sensation at first, then it was as if a thousand glass shards were piercing my heart. A myriad of sharp blades suddenly pierced through my ribcage and slashed the heart underneath. Watching the video made me feel as if I was stripped and Left naked alone in a snowstorm. It was so harrowing that for a moment, my mind ceased functioning and my bladder became loose and I peed on myself. For a moment, I forgot where I was. Became utterly disoriented.

Another bout of nausea hit me and after throwing up, my mind eventually cleared but the torrential tears and the body-racking sobs took a while to cease. Henna wrapped me in her arms and sat with me in the warm bathtub rocking me. She cried with me but also helped me calm down. I looked up at her and asked the first question that came to mind.

"How old do you think I was when you found me?" My voice was barely audible but she heard me anyway.

"We could not tell as you were severely malnourished, but the doctors settled for ten years," Henna whispered as if she feared that talking any louder would break me further.

"So small and so defenseless, so young and so helpless, yet they bruised and battered me, carved and burnt me like I was a cursed ragdoll. What crime do you think I might have committed?" I queried tiredLy even though I knew she knew not why all that happened to me.

Henna smoothed the few strands of hair on my face and kissed the crown of my head before responding in a soothing whisper.

"Sssh baby, you did not do anything. Rather, it was their barbaric and deranged asses that are wrong. It is them who need to be severely punished not you. I swear that as long as I live, I will seek justice for you, my child. Hush now baby, let me help you dry your hair."

I got up from the bathtub and peeled off my soaking wet clothes and wrapped myself in a towel. I just had one more question left.

"So who am I?"

"You are Aria Crescent De Andrade, my precious gift. I decided to give you Crescent as your middle name, because you have an unusual crescent moon birthmark, on your left shoulder blade. And you are sixteen years now. De Andrade is my last name. I am Twenty-seven years old. There, your hair is all dry now. Go get dressed whilst I make you your all-time favorite hot chocolate beverage."

The tenderness, warmth, and love in her voice made me aware of how much I treasure her. I would not ever want to lose her in this life. I swore to do everything in my power to protect her. We only had each other.

That day marked the onset of my nightmares. The nightmares gradually turned me into a conservative person. Eventually, I recovered every bit of my memories. However, I could tell neither Henna nor the doctor. I was determined to conceal that one fact from everyone.

Partly because I did not want anyone to be tangled up in my past. It was a dark and dangerous past. By telling anyone, I would be knowingly endangering their lives. I was so sure that man Conor, who I once called my father, would stop at nothing until he destroyed me.

Thus, if I were to divulge the fact that I have regained my memory, they would want to follow up. Then the police would also commence their investigation. But I am so sure that it goes deeper than just a sinister crime.

I do not know how, but I feel that my supposed father did not hurt me just because he was some sick psychopath. I feel that there must be something else and I intend to figure out what, before I can even tell anyone. I am suddenly, pulled out of the flashback by Henna's voice.

"Aria, make sure that you have packed everything you will need."

I am surprised to see how much time has passed since Henna gave me that strangely disconcerting piece of advice. Something tells me that she might have figured out that I regained my memory. But I determined to hide it from her till I am sure I can protect both of us.