Picnic at Lunch

Nikki is right where she told me would be.

She has a blanket spread out on the grass and I can’t help but love how careless she is about it. She’s basically having her own little picnic during lunch and she looks good doing it.

“Hey,” I wave as I walk toward her.

She lifts her head, her bright smile spreading across her face. “Hey! How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Come, sit.” She makes room for me, crossing her legs as she takes a bit from her sandwich. “I was wondering if you were going to come find me today.”

The blanket is soft underneath my legs. “Ugh, I did not want to spend my lunch being harassed by Zaid. Being with you is one hell of an upgrade.”

Her eyes widen. “Did he spend lunch with you?”

I look away, wondering if I should tell her about what happened with him yesterday. About the scars he has and how much guilt he hoards in his eyes. I choose to go for a lighter retelling of events.

I nod, running my hands down my face. “Unfortunately, and then it took me the rest of the day to get rid of him.”

She pretends to shudder. “Zaid scares me.”

I frown. “Scares you? He’s a annoying and a bit intense, but I don’t know if I would say he’s scary.”

Nikki swallows the bite in her mouth. “I don’t know. He was in juvie last year, he’s a super senior and there’s enough rumors about him being spread around the school that I wonder if all of them have some part of truth in them.”

“Is one of them that he slept with Mr. Admas’ wife?”

Nikki coughs, choking on her water.

“Sorry,” I mutter.

“I remember when the entire school was buzzing about that. Who told you?” She frowns, wiping the water from her chin.

“Zaid.”

“He told you himself?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh, weird.” She shrugs, lifting an eyebrow as she takes another bite.

“Why?”

“He doesn’t usually talk about that stuff to anyone. He’s honestly kind of quiet. He usually sulks in a corner and keeps people at arms length.”

It reminds me of me and I clear my throat, my voice breaking as I ask, “Do you know why he’s like that?”

Nikki frowns, “He’s kind of always been like that, but I guess you could say things got worse when his mom died.”

I nod, understanding the catastrophic consequences of losing a parent. It would be enough to make anyone go crazy. “Maybe you judge him too harshly.”

Nikki tilts her head, her eyebrows twitching as if she wants to frown.

“I lost my dad. I kind of get how losing a parent would make you want to keep the entire world at arms length,” I try to smile at the end of my sentence, but all I feel is the pull of the tears that build up at the back of the eyes, the sting in my nose as I hold back my emotions.

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “Omygosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t meant that he — It’s just, I’ve known him a long time and I never — I’m sorry.”

My smile trembles as I turn to her, “It’s okay. It’s better that you don’t know what it feels like to lose a parent.”

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive,” She chews on her lip.

I try to reassure her and smile, “It’s okay, truly. I know mean people and you don’t give me mean people vibes.”

She snorts at that.

“Just maybe don’t talk about death like it couldn’t rip someone’s life apart.”

“I swear I won’t,” She paints a cross on her heart with her fingers and I laugh at the child-like sincerity.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” She opens up a bag of chips, offering me one.

I take a bite and shake my head. “No, I’ll probably spend it sulking at home.”

“There’s a party on Saturday. You should come with me.”

I begin to shake my head. I have never been the party kind, much less as the new girl.

“Oh come on, please? If we’re not having a good time, we can leave early and you can stay over at my house. We’ll watch movies all night and eat ice cream.”

That sounds better than having to dodge my alcoholic mother.

“Fine.”

She claps her hands, squealing. “Yay!”

The bell rings and we both gather our things quickly.

“I’ll see you in class!” She waves at me as we walk in separate directions.

Zaid isn’t in class and though I should be rejoicing in that fact, I feel that little prick of disappointment in the pit of my stomach.

Why? Why? Why?

Zaid is an asshole and there really shouldn’t be a single reason why I want to see him.

When that class ends, I make my way to the bathroom, feeling the beginnings of a panic attack. I go all the way to the bathroom in the library, it’s the loneliest one from what I’ve seen so far and right now, that’s what I need.

To be alone.

I step into the bathroom, relieved to find it empty. The mirrors above the sink are broken, some of them painted on, but I find one clean enough to catch my reflection.

My lips tremble and just looking at how tired my eyes are makes me want to cry.

I wrap my hand on the counter, dropping my head as I catch my breath.

Just as I feel the air leave my lungs, the door clicks open. I have to force down my grunt of disappointment. I plaster a smile on my face to make it seem like I was just leaving.

I lift my head and turn around, coming face to face with Sadie.

She stand with her hip cocked and her arms over her chest as she chews on her gum. She’s wearing a short skirt, converse and tight t-shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide the perfect curves on her body.

Talk about being envious.

She has light blonde hair, almost white, and it’s straight, long and soft looking, all the way down to her waist.

Though, she’s alone, I don’t doubt her friends are right outside the door, ready to come to her aid if she called for it.

“So, you’re Alina.” She walks closer to me, sneering as she raises an eyebrow.

I press my lips together, clenching my jaw, but I say nothing.

“Aiden’s mine, you bitch. Stay away from him.”