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Chapter 2

Amanda Pov.

  • There's a party tonight. I say and Ron is already frowning. The thing is, I had no choice but to agree to go with Josh.

-Do you want to go to that party? He asks me, biting into the burger.

-Josh wants to go to the party so...

-But you want to go to the party?

-You know very well that I don't feel at ease on such outings.

-Then don't go. It's that simple. No one can force you to do something you don't want to do.

Ron is right, but I don't know how to be as sure of myself as he is. I wasn't made that way. I'm afraid that my refusal might hurt people, even if that's quite absurd, but that's what I think. So I accept and then I find myself in awkward situations wishing I had the strength to say no.

  • I already accepted. What kind of person would I be if I changed my mind right away?!

Plus if I tell Josh I've changed my mind he'll say it's your fault and I don't want to have to argue with anyone.

I wanted to add this too but I preferred to keep it to myself.

  • It's your choice, Amanda. I just want you to be happy.

I know that's what he wants...

I collect the scraps that are left behind and throw them in the trash can then take my bag from the chair I was sitting on.

-I go home. I want to finish the essay I have to do and on top of that I have to get ready for the party.

-Ok...I'll arrive later tonight because I'm working a few extra hours. I will stay with you tonight.

  • Okay.

With one last hug I leave the auto shop and head home. From time to time, Ron stays overnight at my place. But only because he's too tired to get to his house. Just like he's going to be tonight after the overtime he'll be doing.

When I get home, I decide not to waste any more time and jump straight into the shower. After what seems like twenty minutes, I get out of the shower. I dry my body with a towel and tie another towel on my head like a turban and put on a bathrobe. I head back to the kitchen and make some pasta bolognese that I'll put aside for when Ron comes home from work, then in the time left until I have to get ready for the party I'll finish my essay.

My phone rings to let me know I got a text and I leave the essay on the desk in my room then head over to my bed to see who texted me.

Josh: I'll be there in fifteen minutes.

I glance at my watch and only now see that I only have fifteen minutes to get ready.

I open the closet and pull out a pair of simple jeans and an equally simple t-shirt and then get dressed. I don't think I should dress a certain way. It's just a party with the same people I see every day at the College. I have no reason to stress too much.

I run the brush through my hair a few times then decide I'm going to put it in a ponytail just so I don't have to keep arranging it so it doesn't cover my face.

Perfect!

Just as I finish putting up my hair, I hear the front door open signaling Josh has arrived.

I walk out of the room and see Josh dressed in a pair of black jeans and a white shirt unbuttoned.

Ok...Josh looks good. He has an athletic body and I'm sure he's proud of it, but... It's just a college party. Who is he trying to impress by showing up at a party like that?

As he looks over my body, I see him frown.

Of course...He was probably hoping I'd wear something more...sexy, as he would say.

-You could have made more of an effort, baby. He says coming towards me.

And with that he destroyed any chance of me having a good time at the party. I wanted to show him that I can have fun too, but now all I want is for the party to be over, even though I haven't even left the house yet.

  • Well...As far as I know, it's a simple party, not a job interview at a prestigious company.

Josh wants to kiss me, but I turn my head at the last moment and his lips are pressed against my cheek, much to his annoyance.

Well, I was disturbed by his remark too.

-Where is Stallion? He asks looking around for Ron.

-At work.

-You know...Maybe if he put more effort in life, now maybe he would have been an important man and not an ordinary worker in a car workshop.

That's what I meant when I said Josh doesn't know Ron at all. Ron is not just a worker in the auto shop, he is the owner of the shop. He likes fixing cars more than filling out files, so that's why he's mistaken for an ordinary worker.

-And you are very rude lately. I hardly recognize you anymore. Do we go to the party or do we keep arguing?

Josh takes my hand and we walk out the door. For a second I'm tempted to withdraw my hand from his, but I decide I've had enough of the exchange of lines we've had so far. I don't want to ruin my evening any more than it already is.

-And if I didn't know you better, I would say that you want me. He says as soon as we get into his car.

I look back at him immediately and try not to look horrified by the way he's talking to me.

-I do not understand...

  • I think you're in the mood for a roll tonight. Maybe it's time to take it to the next level.

Why the hell am I still with him? How the hell can I accept someone talking about my first night of love being just a "roll".

-Ok...I think I just changed my mind about the party. I say and get ready to open the car door, but he stops me.

-Relax, baby. I was joking too. You don't have to take everything so seriously.

I don't get to make any more moves because Josh starts the car and I find myself wanting to jump out of the car.

Come on, Amanda. Only this time. Maybe it's not so bad at the party. You may realize that you like it and will want to go to other parties. But either way, you need to end your relationship with Josh. It's not a healthy relationship at all and it just wears you out mentally.

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