Bad Relationship
Boston, Massachusetts
September 22, 2017
Right now my mind feels spinning, confused, uneasy and anxious. I'm afraid I won't be accepted at my new school. I don't know if I can adjust to a new school, even though at the old school I didn't have any friends. It's true that no one wants to be friends with a weirdo like me.
I took a deep breath, I looked at every corner of the room, everything was different. I miss my old house, the house with so many memories of mother. Memories of when my mother gently combed my hair, taught me to play the piano and read me bedtime stories. A strong woman, no matter how sad she felt at that time, she never once showed us her tears. All her sorrows, she kept alone. However, why did that actually make her stay away from us forever?
My heart hurts, especially when I remember that my mother didn't leave in good condition. That feeling of loss has not disappeared until now. Everyone who has lost a mother must feel the same way I feel.
Today, as usual, Bryan was late for breakfast. I don't know exactly what he does every morning until he's always late. Even though he always wakes up before me. Did he fall asleep because every night he always brings me medicine and a glass of warm water. I feel like I'm just a burden to him, although he never complained. However, I know that deep inside his heart, a painful feeling of tiredness.
A few minutes later, someone's footsteps were heard. It was Bryan's footsteps. I know exactly, maybe because the inner bond between the two of us is very close. I saw this morning he looked so enthusiastic and sweet as usual. He smiled at me and rubbed my head like a child.
"Good morning, Anka?" Greeted Bryan cheerfully.
"Good morning," I answered.
"Good morning, dad?"
"Stop saying such disgusting things over and over again. I'm sick of your manners!" Said father in his typical loud and hoarse voice.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I won't do it again."
Bryan sat in his chair and started enjoying his breakfast. His favorite morning menu was whole wheat bread with chocolate-peanut butter. I looked at him with my head half-bowed, seeing his never-changing way of eating.
"Why?" Bryan asked.
"You really like chocolate and peanut butter, don't you?"
"Is there anything strange?"
"Nothing, I like watching how you eat."
"Really?"
"Stop it, don't you know the rules in this house? Don't talk while you're eating. It's rude, just like your mother!"
"Why did you bring mom into this, dad?" Bryan asked, who looked displeased by my father's allusion to our dead mother.
"Your mother has always disappointed her parents throughout her life and acted as she pleased."
"If our mother is like that, why do you want to marry her? Why do you accept a woman like that?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"If my mom is such an annoying woman, you shouldn't have married her, right?" Bryan's question cornered dad. That made dad look even more annoyed.
"Shut your mouth, how impudent are you? You'd better go to school now!" Father said with a red face holding back anger.
I couldn't say anything, it was as if my mouth was shut tight. Bryan pulled my hand out of this house. His face which was full of light turned cloudy, perhaps annoyance was currently growing in his heart.
Bryan drove his car to our new school.
Arriving at school, nervous feelings began to nestle in my heart. I'm afraid of being shunned again like at my old school. I also want to have friends, where I can share many things in my life.
"Are you nervous?" Bryan asked.
"I-I don't know, but I think I'm really scared," I answered while holding my chest to feel my heartbeat.
"Don't be afraid, Anka! Everything will be fine. You trust me, right?"
"Yeah, b-but what if I don't have any friends, because I have Asperger's syndrome? What if they find out that I'm different?"
"Hahaha...you, you have too many things to be afraid of. Now that you are the same as everyone, you look much better than before."
"But still I-I can't do anything without your help and I-I still can't lift my head when talking to other people."
"Come on Anka, don't give up like that. Asperger's Syndrome is not a bad thing. You are very talented and also very attractive. I'm sure at our new school, you will make friends. Besides, this city is very close to your dream university. So, you don't need to worry, you understand?"
I nodded while holding my head. It was hard for me to tell Bryan that I would never be ready for reproach again.
"One thing you should know!"
"What?"
"I love you so much."
Bryan teased me with his enormous affection. It made me smile and maybe only Bryan thought my smile wasn't scary.
"How about I carry you to class?"
"N-no need!" I flatly rejected his kind offer.
"Come on Anka, do you want me to carry you?" He asked forcefully.
"I-I don't want to, I-I can walk alone!"
"No! Anyway, I will carry you whether I like it or not!"
I gave up, the truth is that he is stronger than me. Actually, it's not a problem if he wants to do that, but this is at school. I'd be embarrassed if anyone saw it.
However, the school seemed very calm, maybe because class time had started, so the students studied in their respective classes. Bryan and I went through corridor after corridor of the school looking for our class. Bryan remained faithful in carrying me through the school steps one by one.
"Wow... it turns out you're getting heavier, huh?" He said in a mocking tone.
"I-I'm a big girl now."
"Yeah, I know, my cute little sister is all grown up now, huh? Hahaha..."
Bryan laughs, sometimes I can't understand his simple jokes well. Finally, we arrived at the classroom door. My feelings were mixed, between fear, joy and nervousness. But I still hope everything goes smoothly.
Bryan started knocking on the door slowly, not long after the door opened, he saw a middle-aged woman wearing a brown, lacy blouse, her hair neatly tied in a bun, complete with a glasses.
The woman stared intently at us, not long afterward she smiled happily when she saw my brother. I don't know what's going through her mind, but I already know the answer. Yes, she was fascinated by the handsomeness of my twin brother.
The woman invited us into the classroom. But there is one thing I forgot and still don't realize. All the students were shocked, who knows what they were shocked about. Not long after, the middle-aged woman began to speak, breaking the momentary reverie of the students in this class.
"Today we have new students, two at once. Of course this is the biggest gift I have received, because a handsome angel has set foot in this place. This is a very beautiful award," she said full of strange hysteria. It made me unable to move, to the point that I forgot to get off Bryan's back.
"But why does the girl keep being carried? Is she disabled?" Asked one of the students.
"Oh, you're right, I almost forgot. Sweet boy, what's your name?" The woman asked in a flirtatious voice.
"Bryan, my name is Bryan, Madam!" Said Bryan, who felt confused seeing the woman who was getting more aggressive towards him.
"But why do you keep carrying this girl? Can't she walk on her own?"
"She's fine, I happen to want to carry her to class!"
"Okay, my name is Brieta Sussan, you can call me Miss Brieta."
"Okay, Mrs. Brieta,"
"No, not mrs but miss! Understand? Miss Brieta!"
"Okay, Miss Brieta," he answered forcefully.
"Okay, thank you. Starting today I will be your homeroom teacher, sweetheart?" This woman is really strange, she said that while gently holding my brother's face. I really wasn't considered at all.
Suddenly a crowd of female students surrounded us. They scrambled to get to my brother. I didn't expect that its charm would be this great. I have to admit, Bryan does have a face like an angel, anyone would definitely be stunned to see his face.
"Bryan, I'm Luciana!" Said a beautiful student with wavy brown hair.
"I'm Britney, I'm a model!"
"Hi Britney, hi Luciana, nice to meet you?" Bryan said. I know he will try to be friendly with everyone.
The crowd came and went. I was just considered a worm in the invisible soil. I could only surrender and get off Bryan's back, then crept away to look for an empty chair.
I saw a woman who smiled gently at me, she waved her hand as if asking me to sit in the empty seat next to her.
"I-I can sit here?" I asked. I looked in the opposite direction from this girl. I feel nervous when I have to look at other people's faces.
"Sure, you can sit here!"