What Am I Doing?

Maddox

I need to prepare for my meeting with Alpha Jordan’s pack before the formal dinner we’ll be having. We have many points to discuss, and I need to be on top of my game to make sure that I don’t get swindled on any of them.

After all, Alpha Jordan is one of my strongest allies, but he’s also quite shrewd and nearly twice my age.

It would be quite easy for him to take advantage of me if I’m not paying close attention.

But I can’t get my mind off the girl, and that’s irritating.

I’ve sworn not to ever take another Luna, so there’s no need for me to even let that thought cross my mind. It’s not that.

I just wonder… what is she doing here? And am I crazy for even letting Alpha Ernest’s ridiculous suggestion enter my thoughts?

Breeder….

I had been thinking about it before, though. It used to be common practice, a long time ago, back when Lunas had trouble conceiving male heirs and Alphas wanted to make sure that they had a strong son to put on the throne or to rule the pack after them.

Just because I hadn’t heard of anyone doing it in decades didn’t mean it wasn’t a good idea.

Still… the girl….

I’d only caught a glimpse of her as she’d gone down the hallway, and she hadn’t seen me at all. I hadn’t even seen her face.

Alpha Ernest had said she was beautiful, but that didn’t mean anything. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder.

Beyond that, I had a reputation for being a cold, cruel man on the battlefield.

Could I also be one in the bedroom?

People spoke of me as if I had a harem of women that I used and abused, but the truth of the matter was I hadn’t slept with many women at all since my wife had died. When I did, they knew that there were no feelings involved.

“Rebecca….”

Her name rolled from my lips so easily, even though I wished it wouldn’t. Even when I wished her memory would fade to the back of my mind and simply become a part of my subconscious.

A knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts.

“Seth,” I said, seeing my Beta walk into the office. He knew he could walk in any time I wasn’t with someone else. “Did you check on our… new guest?”

“I did. She’s… a tiny thing. Sweet—a bit odd, perhaps.”

“Odd?”

He shrugged. “It’s hard to describe. You’ll have to meet her. She’s quite lovely, though. At any rate, it isn’t her I came by to tell you about.”

With my elbows on my desk, I leaned toward him. “What is it then?”

“It’s Mrs. Worsthingshorethinshire.” Seth let out a lamentable sigh as he sat down in a chair across from me. “I’m afraid I’ve had to let her go.”

“Let her go?” I repeat. “But she’s the head of the house staff, the head of the maids anyway. Whatever for?”

“Well, when I walked into the room, she had slapped the girl, Miss Isla, so hard, she’d knocked her across the room, and when I asked Mrs. Worsthingshorethinshire why, she said it was because the girl had knocked into a table in her own room. Naturally, I couldn’t let that be tolerated. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of Mrs. Worsthingshorethinshire doing something so cruel.”

I can only stare at him for a moment, hardly believing my ears. “And I have the reputation for being brutal.”

He nodded. “I was so infuriated at the sight, I had my men give her a taste of her own medicine.” He looks down at the floor, a bit embarrassed, I think. “Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I thought she deserved it.”

“No, don’t beat yourself up about it,” I say, trying to crack a joke, but Seth doesn’t seem to think I am funny right now. “You did the right thing. How is the girl?”

“I left her in her rooms. I have sent for Poppy. I think she’s the right maid to take care of her. I will also have some dinner sent to her and a wardrobe. I assume you will be in to see her… eventually?”

I shrug. “I don’t know what my plans are, Seth. This breeder business… it’s probably not for me. Especially if she is as you say she is… tiny and frail.”

“Well, she is tiny, but I don’t think she is frail. And she is quite lovely. There’s something about her that’s quite striking—and before you say it—no pun intended.” He gives me a look that says he likes me better when I’m not trying to be funny.

“Is that what’s odd about her then? The striking part?” I ask, putting my strange sense of humor aside.

“No,” he says. “I think what’s odd was that she just took it, like she’s used to being knocked around. And that sort of seemed sad to me. That someone so young should be so used to being hit so hard.”

I can only shrug at that. Empathy is not my strong suit. “Thanks for letting me know,” I say. “Alpha Jordan will be here soon, and I need to prepare.”

“All right,” Seth gets up and heads out of the room, and I go back to my notes about my meeting with Alpha Jordan, but I cannot concentrate at all.

All I can think about is the girl.