9th

School started without a hitch. I loved all of my new clothes. I could not wait to get High school started. There was so many new people and new opportunities! All of my classmates were surprised when they learned that I was working. I seen Kathy a couple times in the halls, she was always bubbly and waving hysterically at me. As soon as I would see her I would drop my head and turn so I could avoid her. I felt so hurt still, the last friend ( Cody) hurt me and I was optimistic that she would be different. I could have that bestie relationship with another female. But it was just so I could cover for her so she could go slut around. Finally near the end of the first week Kathy caught up to me in the bathroom. She slammed the stall and asked what was up with me. I told her I thought we were friends and she responded with I thought we were too. So I asked her why she lied about coming over, why she used me. Then she told me that she wanted me to come with her that weekend to Adams. I could tell my mom I was at hers and she would tell her mom she was at mine.

I let her know I would think about it. When I got home that afternoon from school there was suitcases by the front door. I yelled for my mom who came out the room with a box on her shoulder. I asked her what was going on. She asked if I remembered her boyfriend, Trey. I of course did not but said yes either way.Well turns out she was moving in with him. I asked where me and my sister were going to go and she just laughed. She said I don’t care where you go but you still have to hep pay the bills here. I am not losing this house. I was so confused. I could hear my sister crying in the other room. Then this big fat man came out of my moms bedroom and I remembered who he was. He was one of my moms drug dealers. I asked her so your leaving us to go sell drugs with him? She just told me to shut up and help bring the bags out. I ran to my room and packed my bag. After I was done and came out the room my mom and Trey were gone and so were all the bags. I knocked on my sister door but she just yelled go away. I told her I was going to stay the night at a friends house and left.

Once I got to the shop to meet Kathy I knew it was a mistake. She showed up with Adam and I could smell the alcohol already on her breathe. But my mom left and I did not want to go home so I jumped in the truck. Adam cooked for us and we talked. It was a calm relaxing environment except when Kathy started slurring her words and acting belligerent. Adam asked if she was always like this and all icoul ddo was shrug my shoulders. He finally picked her up and carried her off into the bedroom. After a few minutes he came back out with a pillow and blanket. He asked if I needed anything and I told him no. Then he asked if I was ok… It took me by surprise and I whispered no. He sat down beside me and asked if I wanted to talk about it and I told him no again. We satin silence for a few more minutes. Then Kathy started hollering from the other room “Adddddaaaammmmmm” He slowly got up and told me to just knock if I needed anything and he would be there.

I did not sleep at all that night from all the moans and banging coming from there room. It felt like Kathy really wanted me to know tha Adam was fucking the life out of her in there. At some point I started to cry, silent oh pitiful me crying. I do that at times just out the blue. When things get to loud or too quiet. If I think to long or not at all. Random. I woke up the next morning to smelling bacon frying in the kitchen. I made my way into the ktchen to see Adam in just a pair of pajama bottoms and a kitchen apron making breakfast. I asked where Kathy was and he jumped so hard the pan clanged down on the stove. I could not help but laugh. He turned around and smiled. He told me that I was even more beautiful when I smiled. I blushed and looked away. He let me know Kathy was still sleeping. When he finished breakfast he made me a plate and set it in front of me. After a few minutes he asked me again if I was okay. I did not respond. He then told me he could tell I had been crying. Tears started to form. It had been so long since someone asked if I was ok. And the way he spoke so calm, and quiet I felt like he meant it. I looked up at him just as Kathy was coming out of the room.

I was so close to telling him that I was raped. Maybe this may be the right adult to talk to. Granted he was sleeping with my way to young friend who just woke up and deemed it ok to wear only his shirt to the kitchen. But thankfully I stopped myself. I did not want her to know.

We continued like this almost every weekend. Kathy getting black out drunk, them sleeping together and then me and Adam having a quiet breakfast in the morning. He never asked me again if I was okay. But he always starred at me like he was looking into my soul.