Nuisance

It never fails when I feel like everything is going good, going right. Something always comes along and corrects that. I can never go a day, month heck even a year without something coming and destroying my peace. I feel like I have been through so much in my short life so far that I deserve some type of peace. I do not know what it is that I have done to keep getting knocked down. I am not perfect by no means. But I try to do what is right. I don’t steal, lie, argue ( atleast try not to) I listen to my elders. I respect people and things. But it seems God has a funny way of showing me that he loves me just like ever man that has ever been in my life. Except now Victor.

My mother stood in the door way looking a hot mess. Her hair was now cut short, she had to of put on a least 20 pounds and she was wearing baggy clothes. She just starred at me for a minute then she started to speak. She told me how pretty I was and how proud she was of me and she could not believe that I was able to get my own place now. She expectd me to be pregnant and laid up at Adams house at this point.

I just looked at her dumbfounded. I cant believe I was expecting anything more from her. She always follows a compliment with a jab. She has to talk sweet then knock you back down. That’s her MO. I moved out the door way and gestured for her to come in and made my way to the kitchen. She sat at the bar while I made a glass of water.

I offered her the glass first “Do you have anything stronger?” she asked

“No not at 9:30 in the morning I do not” I responded

“Do not judge me she said, I had a rough week. I finally found out where you were. I have been looking for you for a while now. I miss you.” She exclaimed

“I am still working at the same place, I am not that hard to find. I even have the same phone number” I explain to her

“ well either way, I found you now!” She told me

“ Ok, what can I help you with?” I ask

“I don’t need your help. I just want you to come over. We are having a little gettogether to celebrate your sister being pregnant and meeting my fiances kids!” She said

“WHAT?! She’s pregnant?” I ask

“And I am ENGAGED” she yelled

“ How far along? Is she having aboy or girl?” I ask my mother anxiously

“Did you not hear me I am engaged I said” My mom repeated again.

“Yes, congratulations. I hope he makes you happy.. Now please tell me about my niece or nephew.” I say back

She stands up and shakes her head. “It’s always about you, you never change. Its tomorrow night at the house if you want to come. But I don’t care.” MY mom says as she walks to the door.

“ Wait, I said congratulations. I am just excited about the baby. I am sorry” I tell her

“It is fine. I am excited too but I am more excited to find the love of my life That is what is important here” She tells me

I just bid her farewell and shut the door. I go to grab my phone to call my sister but she doesn’t answer so I leave her a voicemail asking her what else she needs for the baby and asks how she is doing.

I send Victor a text about my sister being pregnant and jump in the shower. While I am in the shower I start to think about tomorrow night. I don’t know if I want to go. I don’t know if I want Victor to go. We are so new in our relationship I don’t want to scare him away right away by showing him all the craziness at first. I decide to talk to him and gauge his response then go from there.

The day buzzes by and Victor finally comes over. I made lemon pepper chicken for supper ( his current favorite) and while we are sitting at the table eating I tell him about my day and my mom showing up.

“This is the first I heard you talk about your mom” he tells me

“Theres not much I want to remember about her honestly” I tell him

“ But she is still your mom” He responds. It is sucha typical response when you tell someone about your mom or your dad being screwed up. Everyone still feels like you HAVE to HAVE a relationship with them just because they birthed you. That is not how life works. At least not for me. Just because you birthed them does not mean you are good for them, you raised them, protected them. I believe that its ok to separate yourself from the toxic relationships if you need to.

“ Yes, but she did not protect me like a mother should.” I tell him

“ It seems like shes trying to reconnect with you, maybe you should go tomorrow night.” He tells me

“ What about you? Would you like to join me?” I ask him

“If you want me to I will, But I think it seems like its just family meeting family. So maybe I should sit out. I will have my phone on me though and I can be there in a heart beat if you need me.” He tells me

“OK” I say quietly. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. That’s not what I want at all. I wanted him to tell me no that he would be going to protect me. But at the same time he does not know anything. He does not know about my past. HE does not know the things that have happened to me. And I don’t plan on giving him my broken self. Not yet anyways. Maybe not ever. So this is for the best. It is my fault I haven’t talked to him about any of it so he doesn’t know. He is being supportive and I can just call him if I need a rescue .It will be ok. I don’t nee dhim to be with me to go to my moms house. There will be a lot of people there AND I can see my sister shes PREGNANT!! I get excited again and go finish up supper with the man of my dreams.