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Chapter 4: A Slip of the Heart

Julia

The night Ethan came over lingered in my mind for days afterward. I found myself replaying our conversation, the way he’d spoken about his brother, his past. There was a sadness in him that felt familiar, like looking into a mirror. I knew loss, knew what it felt like to carry a weight so heavy that it twisted every aspect of who you were. But there was something else about him—a strength, a resilience—that made me want to see him again, to help him, even if he didn’t want it.

The next time we met, we took a walk through the park. The air was cool, the sky clouded over, but it felt right, like the world was giving us a moment of peace. We strolled past the pond, ducks gliding across the water, and I found myself reaching for his hand without thinking. He glanced at me, surprised, but didn’t pull away.

“So, Mr. Mysterious,” I said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. “You know all about me, but I feel like there’s a lot I don’t know about you.”

He looked down, kicking at a pebble on the path. “Not much to know,” he replied, his tone casual, but I could tell he was deflecting.

“Come on,” I pressed, nudging him with my shoulder. “There must be something interesting you haven’t told me yet. Like… what’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”

He laughed, a genuine sound that made my heart skip. “Spontaneous, huh? Let’s see… probably moving to New York with fifty bucks in my pocket and no place to stay. Figured I’d make it work somehow.”

“And did you?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“I survived,” he replied, a shadow passing over his face. “But it wasn’t easy. You learn a lot about yourself when you’ve got nothing left but your own wits.”

There was something about the way he said it, a hint of vulnerability that made me want to know more. But before I could ask, he turned the question back on me, steering the conversation away from himself. It was a pattern I’d started to notice—whenever things got too personal, he shifted the focus. I wondered what he was hiding, but I didn’t push. I had my own secrets, after all.

We continued walking, and soon enough, the conversation turned light again. He made me laugh with stories of his adventures in the city, tales that were probably embellished but still entertaining. By the time we circled back to my car, I felt a warmth spreading through me, a flicker of something I hadn’t felt since David.

But when I looked at Ethan, I saw something else—a guardedness, a wall I couldn’t quite break through. I wanted to reach out, to tell him that he didn’t have to hide with me, but I held back. Maybe I was just projecting, seeing what I wanted to see. Or maybe there really was more to him than he was willing to share.

Ethan

Being with Julia was like walking on a tightrope, every step a calculated risk. I knew I was getting too close, letting her in more than I should. But there was something about her that kept drawing me back, a magnetism I couldn’t resist.

As we walked through the park, I felt her hand slip into mine, warm and comforting in a way I hadn’t felt in years. I wanted to pull away, to remind myself that this was all just an act, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She looked at me with such openness, such trust, that I almost believed I could be the man she thought I was.

But I wasn’t. I was a liar, a fraud, and the closer I got to her, the harder it became to keep up the charade. Every time she asked me a question, I felt a flash of panic, afraid that she’d see through me, that she’d realize I was nothing but a con man playing a role. But she didn’t. She just smiled, her eyes full of kindness and curiosity, and I found myself wanting to tell her the truth, to confess everything and hope that somehow, she’d understand.

But that was impossible. Benny had made it clear—this was a job, and I couldn’t afford to screw it up. I was in too deep already, and if I didn’t deliver, there’d be consequences. So I kept my mouth shut, deflecting her questions and steering the conversation back to safer ground. I told her stories, little fragments of truth wrapped in lies, hoping she wouldn’t notice the gaps.

By the time we reached her car, I felt like I was suffocating, the weight of my deception pressing down on me. She looked at me with such sincerity, her eyes searching mine, and for a moment, I almost caved. I wanted to tell her everything, to lay it all out and let her decide if she still wanted to be with me. But I knew better. The truth would only hurt her, and I’d already done enough damage.

I watched her drive away, my heart heavy with a regret I couldn’t shake. This was supposed to be easy, just another job, another mark. But Julia wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met, and the thought of losing her was starting to feel like a bigger risk than anything Benny could throw at me.

Back at my apartment, I stared at my phone, my finger hovering over Benny’s number. I needed to call him, to check in, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The more time I spent with Julia, the harder it became to go through with the plan. I was in over my head, and I knew it. But I couldn’t stop. Not now.

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