87

ASA'S POV

As I follow the nurse down the hallway, I can't help but scratch at the slight stubble that's starting to grow on my jaw. I just shaved this morning, and although I'm used to this, it's suddenly annoying and itchy. Likely because I'm on edge, and I know that, but I can't help but feel even more anxious about seeing Cassandra.

I'm so relieved, but also so terrified to see her. If she doesn't recall what happened, then I'll be the one to explain it to her, which is actually going to tear me apart inside.

I swallow all of my fears as the nurse gestures me into a room. With a few soft steps, knowing that Cassandra is still asleep thanks to the nurse, I step inside the dimly lit room.

"I'll come by when she wakes up. We figured she would feel a lot more relaxed with you here when she got up," she says with a smile before gently closing the curtain in the doorway as she leaves, giving me all the privacy with Cassandra.

As I step towards her on the bed, I see that she is in fact still asleep. I stand there a moment, a few feet from the bed, taking her in. Her hair is a bit tousled, sprawled out around her on the pillow. She's on her back, one arm up by her head, with the older laying right next to her torso. She's covered until right below her chest by a blanket, and she looks so peaceful that I almost want to sneak out of here and just let her be.

But I'm too selfish to do that right now. I want to be selfish for both of us — for me to be able to sit down and hold her, and for her to be able to wake up with someone there. So instead, I step towards her slowly, grabbing the chair that's placed against the wall and pulling it to the edge of the bed before plopping down into it.

I gently reach out, brushing a few stay hairs out of her face and placing a soft kiss to the top of her head. Because she doesn't stir, I crack a tiny smile, being reminded of how deep of a sleeper she is. I bet they could have given Cassandra nothing at all, and once she was out, she would have stayed out until someone managed to wake her up.

"Hey there sleeping beauty," I mutter as I gently pull back, grabbing the hand that's resting at her side. I'm careful not to move her arm though, as she happens to have an IV put in and I know how painful those can be. "You scared the crap out of me."

Cassandra isn't listening, but that's okay. It's more comforting for me to be able to talk than to not talk at all, even if no one is here to hear what I have to say. I kind of like it. I'm not someone who really expresses many of my feelings, apart from with Cassandra.

My finger lingers on the rings on her hand. Her engagement ring along with the wedding band I just added a few days ago. I still can't believe that we got married. It feels too surreal.

Three Days Ago

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can wait, baby. It doesn't matter to me if it's today, or tomorrow, or a year from now. But I want this to be everything you want it to be," I ask for what feels like the hundredth time, but also not enough.

Cassandra looks up at me, smiling bigger than I've seen her smile in these past few weeks as she squeezes my hand that she's holding.

"Yes, Asa. I'm sure of this," she rolls her eyes at me, playfully of course. "Now can you please stop asking? They're going to think that I'm the one forcing you into doing this."

I can't help but laugh at her small joke, so happy to hear her getting back into this. Blake's death hit a lot harder than expected, likely because it was so unexpected to begin with. But that doesn't matter right now. What matters is us. The two of us. Getting married. Doing exactly what we've been wanting to do for a while now. Neither one of us said it, but the moment that I asked her to marry me, I think we both knew that we didn't want to wait.

Of course, by no means did I want to pressure Cassandra, so I didn't say anything. In fact, she's the one who asked first. At first, I figured that it was because, as she said, she was terrified and scared of what would happen in the event that we weren't and something happened to one of us, but it slowly became something more than just that.

We didn't want to wait, so we weren't going to.

It wasn't until we both woke up this morning that we said 'fuck it' and decided to just go down to City Hall and do it. We got the marriage license and here we were, waiting our turn for the marriage ceremony. You'd be surprised to see how many people actually do get married on a spur of a moment basis, especially here in Manhattan. I know that I was.

Cassandra nudges me, urging me to shut up and stop laughing as we move up in line. We're next, and I can tell that Cassandra is getting a little nervous about it. I wrap my arm around her shoulder, tucking her into my side as I press a soft kiss to the top of her head.

"I love you, baby," I mutter, and she beams up at me, smiling so beautifully. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but this woman is ready to marry me right now, and I sure as hell won't say no to that. "Both of you," I add, brushing her tiny baby bump with my other hand.

Cassandra blushes ever so slightly, and I know it's because she's a little embarrassed about this. Neither is us have ever been into the whole public display of affection thing, and there's a line of people behind us probably watching us right now.

"You know, I think I should have worn something else," she mumbles, running her hands down her dress, over her bump, and trying to flatten it out. It's a bit snug on her, I won't lie about it, but I love it. She's wearing the creme mini-dress that was once her mother's — it was the closest thing to white that wasn't as she said 'too over the top for city hall' and was 'still able to close over her now 'fat ass' and 'enormous boobs' as Cassandra likes to call them.

I disagree of course. She's gained a couple pounds, if that, because of the pregnancy, but I think she looks great. Cassandra always looks fantastic. Even when she's got raccoon eyes from the eyeliner that she didn't wash off the night before.

"No, it's perfect. You're perfect," I remind her, rubbing my hand over her arm. Just as I do, I'm brought out of my trance and back to reality as the person at the doors calls out for us. I straighten up, glancing back down at Cassandra who nods at me as we grab each other's hands again, stepping up for our turn.

The man checks our license before letting us through the double doors, and right before he closes them behind us, I press a small kiss on the back of her hand. It's the last time I'll get to do that without her being my wife, and I didn't think I would be happy about that, but I am. Because holy fuck, Cassandra is actually about to marry me.