1

I wasn't hungry, but I was trying my best to eat all my food. My mom always tells me to eat so I can grow to be big and strong. Growing big and strong didn't matter to me, though. I was already tall for my age.

From where I sat at the dining room table, I could see my mom cleaning up the dishes she used to cook our food. A smile graced her appearance as she sang along to her favorite song.

My mother liked nostalgic things—things that remind her of the past. Nostalgia lurked behind the vinyl player she had and the lack of technology in our household. It was quite ironic because technology was my safe space. I felt more me with my laptop perched on my lap.

Mom walked over to me with a slight sway to her hips to match the beat of the music.

"You're not eating," she pointed out.

I could only look down at my full plate. "I no longer wish to eat, mom."

My mother picked up my plate while shaking her head in disappointment. Mom wasn't really disappointed in me. There was a smile on her face along with a pep in her step as she strolled back over to the kitchen with a look of content.

"You'll want to eat later," she stated. Later. Five letters with two syllables. It's a word so common used in such a direct way, yet so vague. How long is later, mom?

"Are you coming to my violin recital tomorrow? I got the solo!" I cheered happily.

"That's good, baby! I'll be there. I'll always be there," Mom smiled. My face broke out into a smile as I wrapped my arms around my mother's leg. She squatted down to meet me with a grin brimming in her eyes.

"I love you, mom."

"I love you, too, Reyna," she said. My smile grew even more when she embraced me in a hug. Her hand rubbed my back soothingly right before she pulled away.

"Go upstairs and get ready for your bath. You have school tomorrow," Mom demanded. She brought her finger up to the tip of my nose, where she poked it playfully. I couldn't help but giggle as I ran up the stairs.

—

"You're up, Reyna," my violin teacher called out. I looked out at the crowd of people as I worked so hard to search for my mom.

My brows pulled together before I shook my head at the teacher. "We have to wait for my mom. She always comes, Mrs. Tensley. She wouldn't miss my first solo."

My teacher held a sad look on her face as she gently caressed my shoulder.

"I can give your mom two minutes, but we're on a timed schedule, honey," Mrs. Tensley frowned. I could only nod my head before my eyes strayed back out into the crowd. Where was mom?

I couldn't stop looking at the door. Time was running all around me, but I couldn't pay it any attention. The chatter amongst the large gathering of people made me frown. There were a few hundred faces, but none was Mom. I couldn't get on stage without her; she needed to be there.

"I tried to call her, Reyna, but she didn't answer. I'm so sorry, sweetie," Mrs. Tensley spoke. I glanced over at her with a deepening frown.

"Her phone is always on... for work," I whispered. Perspiration was beginning to touch the hairs on my neck as it trailed down my back. I wiped my sweaty palms on the edges of my black pants. The tension in my brows doubled as my feet tapped against the flooring.

"Maybe you can skip out on this performanc-"

"No, it's okay. I will go," I found myself saying. Mrs. Tensley held a droop to the corner of her lips. She looked as though there was more she wished to do.

"We will find her when you finish, okay? Go out there and show them how talented you are!" She tried her best to cheer me up. It didn't work. I delivered her my best tight-lipped smile. Even she could see the blandness in my eyes.

After being introduced to the crowd, I picked up my violin and walked out. There was a chair waiting for me on center stage. My sheet music was displayed on a stand to beckon me. It was there to show me the rules so that I can play the game of music.

The moment my bottom pressed down onto the cool plastic of the chair, everything felt off. My sight would typically be caught onto my mother's, but I found nothing but empty faces.

My heart was hammering in my chest. I had to count down from ten so many times to slow my thoughts. I looked around for my mother again, but I couldn't find her. Where are you, mom?

The spotlight beamed onto my body. It illuminated me and erased everyone else. I eased the tension in my brow before attempting to search for my mom once more. It was more difficult to see now with the darkness swallowing away every soul.

The darkness made it easier to pretend. I could pretend like she was there... watching me. She had that big smile on her face with a proud look in her eye. Mom was sitting right in front of me with a cliché thumbs-up taking over her fingers. Mom could see me, and I could see her.

With a smile, I placed my chin on the chinrest to my violin. My bow made contact with the strings. Steadily, the music began to fill the silence in the room like water coats a dry mouth. It quenched the eardrums of emptiness to fill them with a beautiful thing called music.

My eyes shut as I focused on the friction from my bow to the movements of my fingers. My body swayed with the soothing sound as each heavenly stroke filled my body with colorful vibrations.

I glanced over at my mother once more to see that she was never there at all. My hand immediately halted as I stared at the space my mom would've sat. Everyone began to clap as if I finished the song, but I wasn't even halfway done. I couldn't finish.

I hurriedly got up from the seat and ran backstage. Mrs. Tensley embraced me in a hug as tears racked from my eyes.

"Come on. Let's go find your mom," she said. I nodded my head, trying my best to end my tears, but I couldn't. Mom has never missed a single performance of mine. If she had to, she would walk from another state to watch me play. It didn't make sense why she would miss my first solo.

"Something is wrong, Mrs. Tensley. I just know it!" I exclaimed.

Time moved so fast. We had walked over to the security office to my elementary school. They took my name and my mother's name. Police officers later replaced the security guards. The policemen didn't tell me much. I tried my best to hear what was happening when they talked to Mrs. Tensley in private. She would glance over at me with an anguished look on her face. It was then that my tears would fall and never stop.

Minutes turned into hours. It was dark outside, and I was still stuck at school with Mrs. Tensley and many police officers.

"They can't find her, can they?" I asked.

"Re-"

"If you aren't going to tell me the truth, I don't want to hear it. All I want to know is where my mommy is and why she missed my violin solo," I cried out. Mrs. Tensley tried to pull me into her arms, but I pushed her away.

"Reyna, the police are doing all they can to track down your mom, okay? You have to be patient," Mrs. Tensley requested. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

I'll eat later. Later. Mom promised me later, and now she is nowhere to be found. Later should never be promised. It's a myth. There was no such thing as later, and there would probably never be.

Even if Mrs. Tensley didn't say it, I could see it in her eyes—mom was gone. Mom was gone, and I plan on doing everything I can to find her. No matter what.