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My body stood still as my mind stumbled around gathering all the things I wanted to say while his heavy eyes burned into me. His feet began proceeding towards me in slow, tiny steps until he was right before my stiff body. "What do you want from me, Arie?" His voice came out gravelly with defeat swimming within it.
"What do I want from you?" I scoff, knitting my brows together. "What do I fucking want from you?" My voice booms through the room, bouncing off the white walls and the tall ceiling while I step closer to him with my hands shoving him back. "I want you to tell me what do you mean you can't do this with me? That's what I want."
He squeezed my wrists tight that laid on his chest, but it didn't hurt, instead it just fueled my anger even more. "It means I can't do this with you. It's as simple as that."
I jerk my hands away from his restraint and cross them across my chest. "Why not?"
"Because I just can't." He pinched the bridge of his nose and walked past me to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it with his head hanging low in his hands. "I just can't."
"There should be a reason for it." I tilted my head and looked at the hopeless man with dreadful eyes. "Am I not good enough?"
"Jesus, Arie, no." He immediately looked up and reached forward to grab my shaky hands. "Don't say that. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on and any man would be fortunate to have you."
Pulling my hands away, I take a step back and place them on my waist. "Then what's the problem? Why can't you be that man?" I fought hard to prevent the trail of salty hot tears that were seeking a path to escape my eyes and weaken me due to Leo's deafening silence that shoved daggers in my burdened chest.
He just continued to stare at the polished marbled floor with his brows frowning and his lips sealed shut. My hands slowly lift his face up to meet my eyes. "Leo," I get closer to him, placing myself between his legs and looking down at his conflicted blue orbs that were unusually droopy. "I love you." My voice crawled up my throat so quietly that I could barely hear it myself through the deranged emotions that crumbled me, however, at the same time also lifted a burden off my shoulders while my thumbs caress his cheeks gently. "I'm in love with you and I can't help it."
He looked at me with no emotion besides... pity? He pitied me? Swallowing hard, he removed my hands from his face and placed them down to my sides. I just stare in utter disappointment at this man who didn't acknowledge what I just poured down onto him. "You shouldn't. A man like me will destroy you."
"You think I don't know that?" I hissed out and took several steps back. "The horrifying part of falling in love with you is that I knew exactly how bad you were for me, yet that didn't stop me from falling madly in love with you." I turn around to hide the creeping tears by sealing my eyes shut for a second with my hands on my head, pressing tight against the updo to loosen the rushing headache. With a deep sigh, I pivot back around to notice him staring at me intently.
"Do you think this is easy for me?" My voice ricocheted back to a low whisper loud enough to tickle his ear. "You think it's easy for me to lay my feelings out there for you? To lay my heart in your palms?" A lone tear toppled out of my tear duct, but didn't get far before I wiped it away hastily. "I never thought I'd be able to ever love a man after what Astor did, but here I am confessing my love for you like a helpless girl; a girl that I've long left behind, a girl I don't want to be anymore." I stride closer to him with his eyes still lurking on me. "I know you feel the same too."
"I don't," he replied a bit too quickly and shifted on the bed, ripping his eyes from me and directing them to the window through which the moonlight casted in. "I care for you, but I don't love you."
"Bull-fucking-shit!" I roared at him, but he didn't flinch, instead he let out a frustrated sigh with his eyes still fixated on the window. "You're a coward. I have the courage to tell you how I feel after all that has happened to me and you're still denying your feelings to my damn face."
"Don't call me a coward," he warned as he hoisted from the bed and began nearing me. "Don't ever call me that."
"You. Are. A. Fucking. Coward," I pause after every word to emphasize my point. His jaw twitched and clenched while his eyes got much darker. He pinned me against the wall with his stature and glaring eyes, towering over me like a damn tiger. "You don't scare me, so glare all you want." I bring my hands up to his chest and lurch him back. "If you aren't a coward then why don't you admit it?"
He scoffs and turns back towards the bed. "I can't."
"Why not?" I pace towards him once again.
"Because I can't add another weakness to my life. I can't engulf you into the darkness and rip you away from the life you've always dreamt of living." He said with his hands flopping to his sides in defeat while he plops down onto the mattress again.
"I don't have to be your weakness," I cup his face and force him to look into my eyes. "I can be your strength, Leo. The life I've always dreamt of having ceased when Astor stole my innocence and strangled my most sacred part. I'm knee deep in your so called dark world already, so there's no point in pushing me away."
He slid his hands upon mine and lightly caressed them before detaching them from his face. "No," he said slowly while he tweaked me back a little. "I don't want you."
My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach and shattered into a million pieces instantly. Is this what rejection feels like? Gut-wrenching? Heart-ripping? "Well," I swallow the huge lump in my throat and look right into his blue eyes for the last time. "This is it then. I'm not going to pursue you like a desperate, helpless girl."
"What are you saying?" He asked curiously as he leaned forward.
"I'm saying that there's no point for us to see each other anymore. I think I'm quite capable of protecting myself from Astor now and I don't need your protection or your help. I really appreciate all that you've done for me."
He widens his eyes in disbelief while they just stare at me. "Are you kidding, love?"
"Don't call me that. It's Arie." My brittle voice speaks out while I begin unhooking his locket from my neck as quickly as possible. Taking tiny steps towards him, I bring his right hand and place the locket in it. "Since we're not going to see each other again, I don't see the need to keep this. It belongs to you." I still held my tears that wanted to burn me while he frowns at me, his eyes gloomy in utter despair.
"Goodbye!" With a kiss on his forehead I step back, crushing and scarring my soul on the glassy, sharp shards of my broken heart that were scattered into a million pieces all around me. The duct tape that he put on my soul and heart began to peel off rapidly. How could I put myself in a position to get this heartbroken over a man? How could I be so stupid and ignorant? How could I be so fucking weak?!
His eyes beg me to stay, but I can't force him to love me the way I love him. Lifting my dress up slowly with our eyes still fixed on each other, I unstrap the gun from my thigh and place it to his side. "That's your property too."
Almost immediately, I swing the door open and rush out. I wanted to run and hide from the world forever, never coming back. My legs were ready to buckle and give up on me like everything else in my life. I can't feel like this over a man. I'm too strong to let that happen. I'm too stro... My tears betrayed me and began streaming down my face profusely as I scrambled to a corner down a secluded hallway. Each part of me hurt; every single cell, every single vein, and every single organ. My stomach felt like it was being grated while my heart was being wrung out, draining me of all my blood and emotions.
My inner demonic sanctum was surfacing once again, letting loose all those demons who once again reached up to shove me down a bottomless well of misery. Being too engulfed with my deranged mind, I didn't hear the footsteps that approached me. My blurry eyes look up at the person and I could make out it was Leo. His brows knit together in absolute displeasure in seeing me in such a sickening state.
Before I could comprehend anything, he grabs my face and slams my lips onto his. My emotions sell me out once again by making my lips sway rhythmically against his. All the pain, hurt, and sorrow got replaced by joy and love. The tape began patching itself back up as I melted into his delicate touch so easily. Crawling my hands up to the lapels of his suit, I tug on them to pull him even more closer. At this point, even a millimeter of gap between us felt like a million miles.
His hands abandon my face and grab my wrists, swinging them behind me and pinning them to the small of my back. He dug his body further into mine, sucking hard on my lower lip and forcing a moan to rip through my esophagus. Smiling against my lips in victory, his tongue unexpectedly infiltrates past my teeth and I gladly let it caress my mouth.
My cravings got the best of me as I free my hands from his tight grip and whip them to his face, pulling him down harder onto me. Tingling sensations screamed through my body, especially my wet lady down below. By now she was drowning and begging to break free from the constraints of my suffocating panties while Leo's warm hands creeped down to my ass, giving a tight moan-inducing squeeze.
My tongue gains some confidence and invades him, massaging his tongue and everything else that his mouth had to offer. Having to hold back for too long, I wanted all my desires to break loose right here, right now. I bite down onto his lower lip with hunger as he begins pulling away the warmth of his sweet, smooth lips. "Fuck, Arie." His starving eyes looked at me like a piece of meat that they wanted to devour and I would happily let them. I gaze at his tongue that poked out to soothe my bite on his lip. The thought of taking them back into my mouth made me bite my lip unconsciously.