CHAPTER SIX
I will Allow You Tonight
Emerald's heart clutched at the cold reminder of Joel. Only a substitute… A slave. The words seemed to mirror and pour deep into her spirit, gnawing at her with voracious teeth. Outside she wore a brave face, but inside she was crumbling, piece by fragile piece.
As night started to fall, she stood away, lost in thought, needy for just a shred of herself. Still, no amount of retreat inside her mind could arm her against the instruction that came at sundown.
"You'll be sleeping in Alpha Joel's room tonight," the servant's voice came, crisp and detached. Emerald's heart went to the pit of her stomach. A wave of fear rolled through her, swift and unrelenting.
With increasing panic, the breaths came faster as her chest constricted. No. Sharing his bed, the intimacy it implied was terrifying, and every part of her was unwilling, unready.
It was not until the evening that she approached the large doors leading into Joel's room; her feet felt heavy. Inside, the fine yet inhospitable decor within the poorly lighted room cast only dimly lit shadows.
Before she could drink in the forbidding area, another servant entered to tell her, "Alpha Joel expects you to take a bath first." Without a hint of leniency, this woman's voice brooked no question or hesitation.
Emerald felt her hands shake as she entered the bathroom, her eyes darting around at the opulent but unfamiliar surroundings. She took a long breath, trying to center herself, but her pulse wouldn't slow when she finally dipped her fingers into the warm water, feeling perhaps a little unwilling to take the actual step.
She got into the bath, the warm water a gentle caress against skin cold and nervous. Lying back, she attempted to let go, her mind promptly flooded by memories: images of the peaceful, green fields of her old pack; the safety and warmth of family and friends; carefree days now so far away they could have been dreams. Her family had always been her world, and the devastation of their loss weighed her down even now.
She shut her eyes, and in the eye of her mind's imagination, she could almost visualize her father's stern yet kind face, her mother's soft smile and innocence with which they had always loved her. How quickly it had all been taken away …. her life torn asunder, being thrown into captivity and sold like a piece of property. A helpless ache welled up inside her. She tried to focus on those happier times, desperately clinging to the memories that had once given her strength, but her heart still felt heavy.
A loud knock resounded and jerked her back to the present. Emerald's eyes flew open; her body went stiff with shock.
“Are you going to sleep in there, or should I have to come and fetch you myself?" Joel's cold, commanding voice sliced through the door. That tone again; it was one in which no defiance or denial was allowed.
She felt her breath hitch as alarm flared, her scrambling voice barely above a whisper, "N-no, I'll be out in a moment!" She stammered, knowing very well that he had heard.
She rose from the tub in quick, jerky movements and wrapped a towel around herself. Her heart racing, she dried and then dressed in record time, steeling herself for what was to come. But there was just that kernel of fear that Joel's words had instilled in her, the insinuation of what tonight might hold.
She came out of the bathroom and found him standing in the middle of the room, his back to her, his body taut. He moved with silent deliberation, stepping past her into the bathroom. Without a word, he shut the door behind him, leaving her to her silence.
Her gaze swept the room, to settle on the enormous, looming bed. The mere idea of lying beside him quickened her heartbeat. Her heart, in a desperate search for some semblance of comfort place apart from him where she could retreat and be safe-eyed on the little couch by the window, knew it would suffice.
She carefully plucked one of the pillows off the bed and placed it on the couch. The couch cushions were hard, barely constructed to sleep on, but it was a place apart, and for now, that was sufficient. Wrapping herself in a blanket, she lay down and breathed out softly to invite sleep.
It wasn't long before the bathroom door sound came, then the soft steps of his approach. She lay still, eyes closed, hoping he would let her be.
But a sudden tug pulled the blanket off her body, and the cool air slapped her senses as her eyes opened to find him over her, his gaze firm and unbending.
"What are you doing?" he asked in that low, cold voice, and she shivered.
Emerald sat up, her voice barely above a whisper, "I..I thought I might sleep here."
"No," he returned curtly, his face unrelenting. "You will sleep on the bed."
The words stuttered her heart, and fear wrapped tightly around her, a living vice. Her body would not seem to move from the couch, yet Joel's gaze turned to ice without giving any leeway of refusal.
She slowly rose and moved to bed step heavy, heavier than the last. She sat on the edge, hands shaking, while she waited for him to follow, to close the space between them, to demand what she feared most.
Instead, Joel strode over to the wardrobe and extracted a robe from within, slipped it on with a calm that was in the greatest contrast to the tension in the room. He didn't turn to her but walked over to the door, hand on the door handle. He threw her a look, brief and unreadable; his voice, though, was softer, more subdued, yet still sharp enough in warning.
“Sleep! Tonight, I allow you, but don't look for this to happen again." The words swam in the air, strong, yet somehow soothing.
Then, without another word, he opened the door and was gone, leaving her truly alone once more.
With a sigh, Emerald exhaled the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding as her body sank into the bed her relief washed over her. She was safe tonight. And in that knowledge, as she lay there, the weight of her fear finally lifted, she could let herself begin to hope not all nights would be this terrible.