Chapter 8: Grief and the awakening

ALPHA GRAYSON'S POV

I sat alone in my office, the weight of the world bearing down on me. I drummed my fingers mindlessly against the oak of the desk, but the sensation was lost on me; I hadn't felt a thing for months. Not since Celeste had been torn from me. Not since that fateful night that had stolen everything I hold dear and left nothing but this empty shell behind. The pack was doing well, as it always did, but that didn't matter. It never did. Without her, nothing was worth anything anymore. I had no urge to lead. No urge to protect. The only reason I still breathed was because my wolf wouldn't let go. If it weren't for him, I would have followed Celeste into the abyss, and maybe that was what I wanted.

To end the pain, the loneliness. To join her in the afterlife. But my wolf was stubborn, relentless, clinging to life, and so here I stayed, an Alpha without purpose, a man without a mate.

A knock came at the door, and in stepped Landon, my Beta. His carriage was respectful but edged with concern. He'd been with me since the very beginning, the best friend I could have ever asked for, yet he didn't understand the depth of my pain. No one did. Not even him.

"Alpha, it's time for lunch. The pack's gathered in the dining hall and they're waiting for you," Landon said, his tone soft yet persuasive, as if he was trying to beckon an injured animal back into the fold. "You should join us."

I slowly shook my head as I stared out the window, looking at the reflection of my broken face. "I cannot, Landon. I.I am not in a place where I would be able to stand those mates all happy together-living a life that Celeste and I should've had." My voice was hoarse now, filled with that deep kind of sorrow that had become very familiar to me. "How can I sit there, fake being whole, when I am empty inside? I am alone?"

Landon let out a deep, heavy sigh, which spoke more than any words ever could. He tried; he tried to pull me back from this chasm, to remind me of my duties as Alpha, to offer solace in whatever way he could. It didn't matter. "I understand, Grayson," he said softly. "But you can't shut everyone out. The pack needs you. I need you."

His words cut deeper than I cared to admit. I didn't want to need anyone. I didn't want to be needed. What was the point in being a leader when my heart was beyond repair?

"I know," I mumbled, barely intelligible. "But I don't think I can face them today. Maybe some other time."

Landon nodded, his eyes full of sympathy that only made me feel more hollow. "I'll let them know, but take care of yourself, okay? We're here for you, Grayson." I said nothing. He knew that already. He turned and walked away, the door softly clicking behind him. I was alone again, just the way I liked it. My eyes fell upon the framed photo on my desk, to the one of Celeste and me beaming from our favorite spot—the lakeside. A lowly issued sigh rumbled in my chest as I beheld it, the ache of that memory as fresh and as cutting as if yesterday.

I reached for my car keys, the cold metal a welcome distraction from my thoughts. My wolf stirred slightly inside me, but it wasn't the same. He was there but not really, if that made sense. He'd been quiet since Celeste died, his presence pulling back into itself like he, too, was grieving her loss.

My wolf had always been a part of me, a force of nature. Now, he felt far away-a faint whisper on the wind, perhaps.

I turned the ignition, pulled out of the pack house driveway, and the engine rumbled to life beneath me. Driving, my mind started to slip away into thoughts of Celeste-on and on in an endless circle: how she was taken from me, how cruel the world could be to take her and leave me in this blackness.

Without my wolf, I would have died long ago. He kept me tethered to this world, kept me breathing, kept me existing. But without Celeste, there was no joy in living. No reason to smile. The days blurred into one another, each indistinguishable from the next. I felt like I was just going through the motions—Alpha by title, but hollow inside.

I did not know where I was going, but something in the back of my mind knew I was driving toward something. Maybe instinct, maybe fate. I did not know. But when I finally looked up, I realized I had driven all the way to the lakeside-the very spot where Celeste and I spent countless hours together.

The waters were tranquil, laced with silver from the weak afternoon sun, and the air was sharply cool with a smell of pines and new earth. I parked the car and sat there for some time, just staring at this place that held so many memories-memories of laughter, quiet moments we shared, the love that had seemed at first to be infinite and unbreakable.

I closed my eyes and let the memories wash over me, like the waves lapping at the shore. The sound of Celeste's laughter, the way she would hold my hand as we sat by the water, the way her eyes had always sparkled when she looked at me-it was all so real, so alive. Now, it was all gone.

Grayson, is that you? Nobody can find you and the guards want to speak to you. My sister Thalia's voice was cutting through my dim-witted self from across the room as she reached out using our mind link, lacing every word with worry.

"I'm okay, Thalia," I said, voice flat, drained. "I'll be right back."

There was a moment of silence until she said, "If you say so. Just be careful. The pack needs you. I'll be waiting for you back at the house."

I turned the key in the ignition, cranking the car back over, and pulled back from the lake side. I couldn't stay there forever, wallowing in the past. Much as I wanted to, I just couldn't. I was the Alpha, and my pack needed me. Or would need me if I ever found the guts to try and lead them again, that was.

As I entered the pack house again, two guards were standing at the front entrance waiting for me. The atmosphere around them was grave; they looked like something unpleasant had clung to them.

"Alpha," one of them started talking immediately, his tone steady, yet urgent. "We got a situation here. A rogue female trespassing on the land, caught and detained. But.you should take a look at her yourself."

A rogue. Onto our territory. And my mind was already racing: what was she doing here, why had she crossed into our land?

"Bring her to me," I ordered, my tone sharper than I had meant. I needed something to focus on, something that wasn't my grief.

A moment later, the guards reappeared with a woman bound in silver cuffs before them. Tall, with curly dark hair, an air of defiance about her, her eyes—piercing green—met mine across the distance, and for a moment, time seemed to slow.

My wolf stirred, a sudden surge of power and selfhood slamming into my senses. The bond was weak, but it was there. Faint, but unmistakable.

My breath caught in my throat as my wolf growled within me, waking for the first time in months.

Mate

I blinked, trying to clear the haze from my head. Who was this woman.? My heart was racing with a strange sense of hope mixed with confusion. I had just lost my mate, Celeste. How could this be?

I stepped forward, and my eyes locked on hers. The world seemed to melt away, and my wolf surged to the forefront of my being, strong and wild. "Who are you?" I growled; my voice was gruff, thick with emotion.

The rogue didn't say anything right away. Her eyes narrowed slightly, as if weighing her options, and then her lips parted to speak in a low melodious voice. "I did not come here to attack you. I do not wish to fight."

But I wasn't listening to her words. My wolf was roaring inside me, claiming her. Mate. His voice was insistent, primal. I shook my head, trying to wrap it around what was happening. Was this some trick? Some cruel joke of fate? Or was this really my new mate? Could I—should I—accept this? Yet, I still gnawed the pain of losing Celeste. But this other woman-this rogue, if one could call her that, although so differently packaged-is another thing altogether. Something in us connected, without a doubt, and at her now, something inside shifted-the first time in so very long. The hollow emptiness that had filled me for months began to fade, if only just a little. "Take her to the holding cell, but see to it that she's well fed," I ordered finally, my voice cold, even as the storm raged inside. "I'll decide later what to do with her." And with that, the guards dragged her off. I stood, my heart pounding. This was not expected, it was too much to process all at once. But one thing I knew for sure was that this woman had just stirred something in me that I thought died along with Celeste. And no matter how much I fought it, I couldn't ignore the pull.