3- My real essence of love
Since I was a child, I have had an unsettling dream that fills me with anxiety and keeps me thinking whenever I wake up from it: the image of Venus and the Moon above me, I remain lying on the grass staring at the night sky. That moment that reminds me of the exact date I was born. In the year 1989 was the last time that Venus and the Moon aligned at the same distance from Earth, the night of Paola's birth, however, although we fell the same night in this life Paola is older than me. Which makes me suspect that she came to Earth before I reincarnated.
The only thing I knew before I met her was that Paola and I lived without looking for each other, or remembering what we were for two decades. If I think a little about why Paola has made me lose my mind, I wouldn't know where to start. I love so many qualities in her.
Despite her star nature, Paola doesn’t like to attract attention at all. She always prefers to go as unnoticed as possible when she is surrounded by many people. Quite the opposite of me, maybe that's what I like so much about her, we are so different, but deep down in our being we possess the same nature, the same respect for the simple things in life. Despite her calm, Paola is a woman who is always respected and does not let herself be stepped on by anyone. She loves to take care of herself and is a great lover of exercise. It isa passion that she has for being in shape and maintaining the line sometimes causes her certain problems with the people around her, since she can become very maniacal when deciding what to eat, something that affects all the members of her family, and me too. But I accept what she wants in her diet without putting up much resistance, I like first of all to give her security and make her feel comfortable and admired.
At work Paola is very responsible and crumple with everything they send her. He doesn't mind working longer hours in order to finish what he has to do. With his colleagues he always generates a good atmosphere and tends to help when they need it. It's really hard for anyone to have any argument with them or have anything negative, it's very easy to love Paola. She is a very persevering woman and dedicated to what she has done so on a professional level when she starts a project, due to these qualities it is very sure that she will get it to fruition. And that's why he is so sure that when he goes to Seville, he will completely forget about me.
In love she is the wife of one person, when she falls in love it is certainly forever. At least that's what she assures me. She tells me that she will try to make it so because she is very faithful and familiar, but I am so afraid of losing her.
That's who Paola is, for me she's the perfect woman. All its flaws are only a complement to its totality. He is adorable and will be so all his life because his essence is the same, even if his aura changes. I met Paola one day when she was studying veterinary medicine in Venezuela, by chance, as all great loves are known. Without knowing what our purpose or destiny was. I didn't know I was looking for her, or that I loved her, until I touched her.
It was in the library of my university; we both took the same book: "The Second Sex" by Simone de Beauvoir. It was the only copy on the second floor of the library of the Central University of Venezuela. She tried to flirt with me and asked me to keep the book, when I took it, I rubbed her hands and the light melted into hers. That day there was a tremor on the campus of the University. The tectonic plates of the earth moved with the first human contact of our bodies. Far from what scientists claim, the movement of tectonic plates that causes earthquakes and tsunamis occurs every time two shooting stars come into contact, after having been separated for a long time. Then I knew, I had loved her forever. Paola was the woman of my dreams. That's when I discovered that shining was what I knew how to do best. When we finally kissed, I could remember my life as a star. The first time we kiss we remember who we are, and where we came from. Only by shining again next to another star is it revealed to us that you are of another race. It's a secret, and we must stay safe.
His hands gave a reason to all my reincarnations. When Paola came into my life, I was able to radiate a giant light beside her. I don't know if I opened the ways for Paola to come into my life, if I was ready for the manifestation of my soulmate. I wanted a relationship to bring light to the world, but I didn't know that the union of two people managed to create sparks, until it touched it. It was a powerful, balanced energy that made me tremble with fear. Fear of feeling that it was not enough to receive such energy, fear that Paola might notice it and stop loving me. Maybe they're the most common fears among humans, I don't know, but something tells me I should know.
Being by their side is not about possession, it is about together we can broaden the perspective of the environment, raise the surrounding energy for all people, like a sigh left in the air. A charitable union in general. Yet our union seemed to attract chaos. Every time we touched each other it could shine, but we also made many things, objects, cars, even buildings around us tremble. Trembling and shaking was another way of vibrating that I didn't know about the stars. Perhaps, trembling was our punishment, our karma or destiny, perhaps our energy could not merge into the other, and we could only vibrate positively without touching ourselves. But when we touched each other, Paola and I became dangerous, because everything seemed to collapse when my desire to merge into it was most intense.
I was able to shine again, and I was able to love her. However, my heart was not calm for long. For my destiny was not to be able to give my heart to Paola, neither in heaven nor anywhere else. I don't remember anything from my past lives. I also don't remember how long ago I came to Earth. I barely have some images of the universe that assure me that I do not belong to this place. And Paola's brilliance and that sense of lucidity that her company gives me remind me that I wanted it for millions of years: to feel her, to touch her divine woman's body.
It is not permissible to love ourselves according to the laws of humanity because when we meet, we radiate a supernatural light and vibration. Perhaps that's why fate made us both women, representing a forbidden love between two beings of the same sex. Shooting stars that are reborn on earth are not allowed to love each other, or touch each other, much less meet. But something happened on the night of my birth, which made me be in Paola's destiny. The desire that gave me life as a human was linked to Paola's destiny.
Being a shooting star that has found its soulmate on Earth, also has its disadvantages. Not everything is rosy. Shining can be very dangerous when I spend time separated from Paola. Then the energy begins to fade within me, and the fusion at meeting us is really intense. It's like heating a plastic for a long time and watching how it responds to heat, it explodes, it needs expansion. The more I desire it, the more time you spend away from it and the greater the intense desire for it to come back, the greater the damage we cause in the next contact. We could cause tremors if we were reunited after 5 years apart, or forest fires if we spent the night camping. If I move away from Paola for a long time, I could completely turn off my shine, a part of me would cease to exist, overshadowed by my fears, and then by turning on in some fortuitous reunion we could shine violently and dangerously. If we get closer after being so long apart, we could consume all our brightness in a hug. It is something that for sure we have not confirmed because we have not allowed ourselves to leave for more than a couple of months since we met. It was something as delicate and as imprecise as the health of a diabetic. And that would certainly happen if she went to Seville.
I always knew that ours did not go beyond the foundations of Madrid when we arrived as Venezuelan refugees in Spain. Chavismo was installed in Venezuela and people died escaping from the regime, the country was ruined and everyone sought to emigrate. So, we decided to move to Barcelona when we heard that a friend, Daniela Camacho, was selling an old place in the city center because she was moving to London, where she thought she would be happier with the weather of not knowing if it's morning or afternoon with the sun you never see. Well, Paola and I took the opportunity to settle in Barcelona, she has always believed in me, and supported me to open a veterinary office. We would laugh like the London sun if she left. And we were, and it was gone, and one day the sun just didn't rise anymore. Since then, I knew that it was not morning or afternoon, I had simply come to the night and I could not shine because Paola was no longer with me.
No star can shine with a broken heart. And Paola broke mine when she moved to Seville. He had to figure out how a star survives on Earth, and loses its brightness without dying. Two stars that throw themselves from the universe to practice diving in the Tierra, without knowing how to swim, because we never had water before. Stars have no water, while 70% of the human body is pure to cool. Water writes well my inexperience being human, looking for destiny written in the stars, learning to shine without needing to merge my light with Paola's. We learn to swim, drink water and surf once down here. And for what? We would end up separated, slowly shutting down, suffering among the human race as we make sense of happiness. Just a blink of millions of years watching love from above and suddenly you have it in your nose and the next second he moves to Seville without carrying my naked photographs on the lining of his guitar. It tears my heart apart. But that's how people are, we don't value every second, we think that if the decisions go wrong, we will have tomorrow to fix it. Because people always think they have a lot of time to lose and all they have are moments to gain. However, the stars live millions of years, and we know that life is not enough to create that pile of moms and live on them. The eternal has a cost: life itself.