Chapter 7

Logan's pov

Watching Brianna storm out made me feel satisfied at the same time. I had gotten beneath her skin and knew she was still thinking about that night we spent together.

While standing there, I started thinking about the wedding. In a few weeks, I was supposed to marry Brenda, but that thought filled me with dread.

I did not want to marry Brenda-she was not even a person I knew all that well. The very thought of confessing that I would spend the rest of my life with someone I never loved could not help but send a shiver down my spine.

But the marriage had been arranged by my family, and I had to stick with it. At least that was what I kept telling myself.

Standing there lost in thought, my mind drifted to Brianna again. For some reason, I kept thinking about how she had looked at me, how she had touched me.

I felt a fresh wave of desire hit me, and I knew I had to leave because if I stayed much longer, I would do something really stupid. I turned around and walked out, leaving the Conners' house behind.

And I wondered what Brianna was doing, or if she was even thinking about me.

There was a twinge of guilt, for I was to marry her sister, but this was beyond control. I couldn't explain, but I was drawn toward Brianna like a moth towards a flame.

And I walked, getting familiar with the streets, only to realize I was going home. I came home and made myself a drink while entering the living room.

I sat down on the couch, thinking only of Brianna as the images kept flying through my mind. I could not conceive of a person like her.

Sitting there for a while, I knew that I had to find a way to stop the wedding-from marrying Brenda because of what I feel for Brianna.

As time passed, I pondered about all of it, realizing it couldn't be easy. My family will never, not at this time, agree to call off the wedding. And Brenda...I didn't know how she would react.

I sighed, full of frustration. I lay in a state of bondage, not knowing how to break away.

I was sitting there, feeling at a loss when my mind began to drift off again to Brianna. I wonder how she was, if she was also thinking about me.

And while I thought about her, I felt a rush of desire. I realized I wanted to see her again, feel her out, and find out how she felt.

Rising, I felt some determination surge within me. I was going to find a way to stop it, if I had to burn every bridge in the process. And I would make sure that Brianna knew how I felt about her.

I just lay in bed thinking about Brianna and this whole wedding thing. There was a dread I really couldn't shake off.

As I fell asleep, I was abruptly awakened by a nightmare. I was driving down some dark, empty road, with nothing but the engine's drone. Suddenly, a shadowy figure appeared before me, and I swerved to miss it.

But it was too late. There was a horrible screeching sound, and then...nothing.

I shot upright, my heart pounding and my shirts soaked with sweat. I lay still for a minute recovering my breath.

Just a nightmare, I told myself. It doesn't mean anything.

But lying there would not shake the guilt and unease that always sat in me. It was something I learned to live with, but it would always remain a reminder of...

I pushed the thought aside; I didn't want to go there. I would not think about that night-the things that happened.

I pushed off the covers and climbed out of bed, pacing back and forth across the room. needed to clear my head, to put aside the aqua feelings of guilt and unease.

I paced the floor, reflecting upon Brianna. She was the only one who seemed to understand me perfectly, the only one who had seen beyond the mask that I put up for the world.

Then I paused; it was as if there was something in space ahead of me that needed to be seen. I knew I had to see Brianna again, to talk to her and find out how she was feeling.

Just then, as I stood there thinking, the feeling of resolve came on me. I would find a way to stop the wedding, no matter what it took, and I would make sure that Brianna knew how I felt about her.

I took a deep breath, feeling a sensation of strength consolidate itself. I could do anything to make things better, to make things work out with Brianna.

And while I stood there, lost in thought, I felt a little hope again that I hadn't had in many years. Maybe, just maybe, something from this would give me a way to redeem myself, to do something for those faults of the past.

But as I turned back toward my bed, a glance in the mirror caught my eye. And for a moment, something I couldn't quite catch made my blood run cold.

A flicker of guilt, of shame, of something else. Something that I could not quite explain.

I turned my back on the mirror, wanting not to lay eyes on it again. I didn't want to think about it, didn't want to remember.

But as I lay back in bed, I felt an unsettling sensation, a gut feeling about something being not quite right- something was hiding beneath the surface, waiting to pounce.

And as I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what it was. What secret within myself was I hiding from myself? What truth about myself was I struggling to hide?

She exited like a storm, and I couldn't help but realize that satisfying gnawing within me, his little elves gnawing at it.

I had managed to really get under Brianna's skin, and I knew quite well that she was still hung up on that night we had spent together.

But standing there, those thoughts slid into my head and began to wonder about the wedding that was so fast approaching, a marriage between Brenda and me in a couple of weeks, which conjured nothing other than a sense of dread within myself.

Avoiding marriage with Brenda was hardly possible- I really couldn't know her all that well, and forever living, I thought, with someone one could hardly call love was cruelty, in my view.

My family has done all preparations for my marriage, so I guess it's something I have to learn to ignore. That's the pep talk I keep giving myself.