CHAPTER ONE - ALONE

MONA’S POV

A week ago

I had come home from work smelling of grease and fried chicken as I trudged up the stairs and headed up to the tiny apartment that I shared with my mother.

My body ached from the double shift that I had to work because of the bills we had to pay, the only thing that kept me going was the thought of my bed. My mind had been fantasizing about collapsing on my worn out bed and falling asleep.

I smiled to myself at the thought as I unlocked the door to the apartment.

Something was off

My mother usually left the television on even when she fell asleep, she said that the sounds made her feel less lonely during the day, but tonight the apartment was silent.

“Mom?” I called out sounding worried. Where in the hell was she? And what was going on?

I closed the door and walked into the sitting room still yelling for her. Suddenly my legs ran into something heavy. I turned on the flashlight on my phone and looked down.

“Mom?!!” I panicked dropping my phone as I saw her passed out on the ground.

“Mom? Wake up, what is wrong with you?” I asked her, gathering her into my arms and shaking her desperate to wake her.

She wasn’t moving, her face was pale and her skin was cold. I scrambled for my phone, grabbing it and calling an ambulance.

The paramedics arrived in what felt like the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I rode in the back of the ambulance with them, staring at my mother’s unmoving body and trying not to cry as they placed an oxygen mask on her nose.

We arrived in the hospital and I watched helplessly as my mother was wheeled away. I paced the waiting room until a doctor came back out.

“My—my mother, how is she?” I asked the man.

He gave me a compassionate look, “I am so sorry,” he began and I nearly lost my mind.

“What are you sorry for? Where is my mother?” I asked him, looking past him into the ward where the nurses had begun to cover her motionless body with a white sheet.

“That isn't my mother right?” I asked him, trying to push past him to enter the ward.

I shoved him aside and ran inside the ward, the nurses looked at me like I was crazy as I pulled the sheets of my mother to find her dead body.

As I saw my mother’s closed eyes and blue skin, I knew that she was never coming back again.

I stared at her with tears filling my eyes and collapsed to the floor. I still could not believe it, that my mother I had hugged before I left for work this morning was not coming back to me.

“We are sorry about this ma’am,” the doctor said, giving me a compassionate look. “She suffered a heart attack and too much time had passed before she got here,” he added and all I could do was feel guilty.

Maybe if I hadn’t taken the stupid double shift.

Maybe if I had come back home earlier.

Maybe if—-

No matter how many maybes were in my head, it did not change the fact that it was still my fault.

My mother had died because of my negligence. She had been sick for a while, it was why she stopped working, we had so much debt because of her drugs and yet despite all I had done to keep her alive, she was dead now.

As broken as my heart was, I did not cry even when I watched my mother get cremated in front of me as I could not afford a burial and we did not even have any relatives that we could ask for money.

I did not cry then.

I did not cry until I reached my house and sat in my dark and cold apartment with my mother’s ashes in my hand. It was then I broke down in tears.

I cried until I fell asleep, still holding all that was left of my mother close to me.

After that day, I spent all my time in my apartment, crying as I held my mother’s ashes close to me, ignoring the calls from work.

After that day, I realized that I was truly alone.

Present day

As I stared at the blue jar that held my mother’s ashes, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud banging on the door.

What was going on?

Groggily, I rolled off the floor and picked up my mother’s ashes and set them on the table next to me, before I walked to check who was banging my door.

“Who is it?!” I called out.

“It is Carter,” he replied and my blood ran cold. It was our landlord, and the last time I saw him my rent had expired.

Could my day really get any worse?

I opened the door and looked down on the short balding man who was frowning at me.

“I am sure you know why I am here?” he said as he pushed past me and walked into the apartment.

“Yes sir, and I was going to come and see you today. It is still Tuesday and I am not going to get paid until Friday, so if you can give me a bit of time,” I said to him, my voice was shaky and I was trying not to burst into tears with how overwhelmed I felt.

“That is what you said last week, this is not a charity organization if you don’t have the money by tonight, you better be prepared to sleep on the streets,” he yelled at me and I just burst into tears.

“Why are you crying? Is this your attempt to guilt trip me?” Carter asked, giving me an irritated look.

“It’s….it’s my mother sir, she is dead,” I said to him, feeling my heart break as I admitted it out loud.

His irritation quickly turned to concern, “wait are you serious? She is dead?” he asked and I nodded, still crying.

“It has been a week now” I replied.

“Oh dear,” he said, putting a hand on my back and rubbing my back like he was trying to console me.

“I am sorry that happened to you,” he apologized and I nodded at him, trying to stop my tears.

“Sir please, about the rent, I will get it for you by Friday, I swear,” I promised him and he smiled at me still rubbing my back.

“Don’t worry about that my dear,” he said, his blue eyes glinting at mine with a friendly smile on his face.

“Are you sure?” I asked him, starting to feel relieved. At least if I didn’t have to pay rent this time, I could work on other things and save more money.

“Yes,” He said, turning my face to look at him. “You need to grieve her and besides you could pay for rent in other ways,” he said and his hand slid down to my waist.

I didn’t understand him at first, but as I looked into his eyes, his concerned gaze seemed slimy and lustful. I felt sick at the feeling of his cold hand on my waist.

I pushed him off me immediately, still in disbelief. “What are you implying sir?” I asked him and he smiled even wider.

“Oh come on Mona, don’t play dumb. You know what I am talking about besides, if you do a good job in bed, you won’t have to worry about rent here for three months,” he said, stepping closer to me, with intention in his eyes.

I scoffed, unable to believe that this was truly my life.

Was my landlord really coming on to me barely a week after my mother’s death?

This had to be some kind of sick joke.

“You are joking right?” I asked him.

His mouth twisted into a frown, “does it look like I am cracking a joke?” he asked me.

“I just told you that my mother died and you think that I am so desperate for rent that I will sleep with you to cover it,” I replied to him, my disgust evident in my tone.

“Don’t act like you have a choice, you are a poor wench, either you do what I want or you get thrown out to the street, you can pick your poison,” he said, looking up at me, waiting for me to make a decision.

Angry tears fell down my face as I thought about having to sleep with this short, ugly man all because I could not afford rent.

I thought about what my mother would want for me and what I would want for myself.

“Come on Mona, stop playing difficult,” he said, placing a hand on my waist again.

With a glare, I slapped his hand off. “I would rather be homeless than sleep with a bastard like you,” I said defiantly.

Mr Carter scoffed and stepped back like I had struck his face.

“In that case, get the fuck out of my house!!!” he said, immediately pushing me out of the apartment.

“What the hell?!” I panicked as I struggled against him.

He shoved me out of the apartment and was about to lock the door, when I pushed past him again and raced inside, grabbing my mother’s ashes from the table.

“Get out of that place before I hit you,” he threatened me but I stood my ground.

“What about my things? My clothes and furniture?! I am not leaving this house until I get all my things,” I said to him and he scoffed at me again, shaking his head.

“Okay then, wait here for me,” he said and then he walked away.

My heart was racing as I stood in the apartment awkwardly, still holding on to my mother and wondering what he was going to do next.

Should I just beg him when he comes back?

If he could even wait till this night, I was sure I could get the rent money even if I had to ask for an advance at work.

“There she is!! Throw that stupid girl out of my house!!!” I heard Mr Carter yell suddenly.

I looked up in a panic as two hefty men walked inside the house and lifted me up by my arms.

“Wait!! No!! You can’t do this please!!” I continued to scream as they carried me out of the house. They did not stop until we reached outside the gate, then they dropped me on the ground and walked back inside the house, shutting the gate in my face before I could do anything.

I dropped the ashes near me and banged on the gate helplessly.

“Please Mr Carter give me till tonight, I will have the money by then,” I shouted after him.

“I don’t care about the money, I no longer want you in this house!!!” he yelled back and I went silent.

Why in the hell was this happening to me right now? I wondered as I sat down beside the gate.

I gathered my mother’s ashes into my hands and I began to cry.

Who the hell had I offended to give me such shitty luck?

As I cried, resting my head by the gate, a black luxurious jeep drove into the area and parked right in front of me.

The windows of the car rolled down and the man at the driver’s seat turned to me.

“I am looking for Mona Togarde,” he said and I froze in confusion.

How did he know my name? And what in the hell did he want with me?