Chapter 6
WARNING:- Domestic Violence Jean's P. O. V
"No, Matt! No, please," I begged as he is dragging me by my hair across the manor. He dragged me upstairs up into our room. He pushed me into the room with such force that I fell to the floor. My heartbeat is beating fast, feeling that death might be upon me. This is not my Matt. Matt cares for me. Matt loves me. Where is he? I want him back.
Matt lowered himself to face me, putting his finger on my chin, lifting my face to look him in the eyes. I stared deep into those green eyes, those green eyes that I used to love to look at. Those green eyes that used to give me comfort when I am in distress. Now, those eyes are the source of my distress. My sight is starting to get blurry as my tears are on the verge of falling.
"Good for you, I have to keep that pretty face for the wedding."
He wiped the tears with his thumb, cupping my cheek and slowly moving his hands down my neck, and in a snap, I find myself gasping for air, "But maybe I should do just enough for you to remember who and where you belong to,"
"M-matt," I pleaded as I grabbed his hand trying to pull it away but he was too strong.
I keep on trying to gasp for more air but nothing gets into my lungs. His grasp around my neck is making my head feel like it is about to explode.
"Here's a lesson for you, amore mio. Stop calling me 'Matt'. I am not your toy anymore, Jean. Address me by my name as you should. Do you want to know who the toy is? You. You are mine.
Every inch of you is mine. Your decisions are mine. Those lips of yours are mine. Everything of you is mine. You are not to question me. What I ask of you, you should willingly offer to me without hesitation.
Because you are what? A toy. Nothing but a toy to me," My body feels like it is about to give up. In just the perfect moment where I am in between surviving and dying, he released me.
I choked and gasped for much air as I can. Tears are spilling out of my eyes, my throat releasing uncontrollable painful sobs.
"Just kill me instead," I whispered as I continue to pant for air. He chuckled and looked at me. "Baby girl, where's the fun in that? I'll tell you what.
This is what will happen once you die. Your parents' bodies on the floor with pools of their own blood. Who knows where it might happen? On the street? In their own homes? It's a mystery. But the 'go' signal is on you . Understand that?"
"But you love daddy and mommy too much to let them die because of you, right? Poor baby." He taunted and chuckled darkly. He caressed my hair. "I have you wrapped on this finger of mine. So small, so easy to crush."
"What happened to you? You're not like this. Please just tell me. I can help you. We can move past this." I cupped his cheek and looked straight into his eyes. I saw a hint of them softening a little but it reverted back into his dark aura. He pushed my hand away.
"I don't need your help, Jean. This is how I'm supposed to be. Deal with it." He stood up, removed his clothes, and laid on the bed. "Come here."
I stayed still, my body is still in shock that it is in pain from the anxieties I felt earlier. I slowly stood up and tried to ignore the pain. I walked towards the bed and looked at him. Only the blanket was covering his manhood. I gulped, this is not where I think it's going to go right? "Strip," he instructed.
"But—,"
"Jean." He said in a warning manner. I took a deep breath and removed my clothes. I just stood there naked, waiting for his next instructions. "You're waiting, that's good. Lie beside me."
I laid on the bed beside him but maintaining a space between us because I do not feel comfortable being that close to him at this point. I covered my breasts with my hands and kept my legs closed tight.
His presence scares me. What if he suddenly chokes me to death while I sleep? But that may be unlikely, killing me gets him nothing. He suddenly pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me. My face is facing his toned chest. My heart is beating fast. He's abusive for a minute and turns back into the Matt I know. I don't know what to believe.
Should I trust him? But he hits me. How could I trust him? How could I give into him? I still love him. I really do. But I have to protect myself first. I don't want to be hurt by him again, whether physically or emotionally.
He left me wondering for seven years and now he takes me with him to keep on even wondering more. I don't know what to do with him. One small mistake with him threatens the life of my parents.
I love them too much to act so carelessly. I just have to be good to him and make him fall in love with me again. I was able to do that before. I can do it again. I'm the only woman in his life. It should be easy.
"There will be an engagement party in two days and a month after that will be our wedding. The wedding has already been planned and ready to go. All you have to do is pick something to wear and say 'I do', got it?" This was going much faster than I thought. Better to be over it than later I guess.
As if there will be much difference between the two situations. Both incidents will have my neck tied on his leash. He pulled my left hand and looked at it. His fingers playing with the ring that he threw on my face.
My stomach grumbled, the last time I was able to eat was when I was back in the United States. Matt was too mad at me to let me eat tonight earlier. He sighed, I figured he heard the sound of my hungry stomach. He pulled out his phone and sent a message to someone. I did not see who it was due to the fact that I remained in the same position I was when he pulled me into his arms.
A few minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," Matt instructed and lent me sheets to cover my nakedness. A maid came into the room with a tray with a plate of food. After delivering the tray, the maid bowed and left.
"Eat."
"I don't have an appetite." I may be hungry but I am not really in the mood to eat anything right now.
"You haven't eaten since the flight. Just fucking eat, Jean."
"I'm not really in the mood, Matt—Matteo. I don't want to eat." I exclaimed. Matt sighed and went over to the plate. He sliced a piece of the chicken and brought it into my lips. I was taken aback at his gesture because this is unlike him, basing on his behavior now. I shook my head, I really do not want to eat.
He cupped my cheek, waiting for me to take a bite. I sighed and brought the piece of chicken into my mouth. It honestly tastes heavenly or maybe that's just the hunger talking. Matt proceeded to feed me the chicken until I get to the last piece.
"Do you still love me?" I randomly asked. My eyes widened at my sudden question. I did not know why it suddenly rolls off my tongue. My anxiety went all over the place thinking he might get mad again after him being suddenly so nice to me. But then, I suddenly realized that I do not regret asking it. I should at least know that. Does my fiancé love me? Or was he just doing it to play with me? Was he just playing with me in all those years? Was he just tricking me all those years to make me into the fool that I am today?
"I don't."
I felt everything fall right into my eyes. I felt my heart drop to the floor. I felt my face be even sadder than it already was. That question was at least the one I could hold on to go through this hell of mine.
Something that I would willingly hold on to. He made me wait for seven years for him and I did because I love him too much but in reality, he does not love me back. Maybe he is lying all those years. Maybe this is the prank that he so patiently pulled on me.
He dropped the fork down on the plate. "Clean up. I'm tired. Get dressed and sleep on the floor."
I took the last bite of the chicken, put on my clothes, and proceeded to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Blue and purple marks are present around my neck. I gave myself a small smile.
Why would a man who loves you do that to you? He doesn't love you. You're just being fooled. Why can't you just get that in your head? Just live as it is.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I went back into the bedroom and looked at him sleeping peacefully on the bed. I see that he dropped a pillow on the floor for me. I sighed and laid on the floor. I was silently sobbing all night, trying to not be too loud for him to notice. Eventually, the darkness consumed me and put me to sleep.