Chapter 10

It was a few days further and I was still three months pregnant. Nope, absolutely nothing had changed and I still felt like shit. After finishing up my week behind the bar it was the weekend and somehow I managed to call in sick. Christian was out of the picture and so was Lucio who was at first surprised to see me in the kitchen but didn’t pay lots of attention to it.

I knew that if I had to work it tonight it would’ve been time to start dancing again, but I also knew that I couldn’t do that, at least not with a baby in my belly. After looking up several job applications I had quickly found out that no one was waiting on a college drop out.

My hands grasped for the abortion clinic booklet and I held it tightly. Why did it have to be this difficult?

The most logical action would be to go with my original plan and to abort the baby as soon as possible. Yes, I wanted something of my own but I also wanted to give my child the life it deserved. Adoption was out of option because I knew myself very well, I got too attached way too quickly and would never be able to give up my child. Keeping the baby was something I did not have the heart for even if I wanted to.

I looked down at the contact number at the back of the booklet and typed it in on my phone but regretted it when someone had actually picked up. I had expected getting an abortion was an easy thing to do and that the rest of it to follow quickly after that, but it didn’t. Unfortunately, I did not prepare myself for all the questions which followed, including the question of why I wanted the abortion, but what was I even thinking? Upon hearing my unsure answers the nurse made an appointment for the next day so I could talk things over and get more explanation.

The word ‘discuss’ scared me. I did not want to discuss anything because I knew that the longer I waited, the faster I’d regret my decision. It was not that I didn’t want to become a parent, because I wanted to, but what was the point of being pregnant when you could not even enjoy your pregnancy?

To make matters worse, the internet was my best friend, so I looked up the abortion process and even watched some videos as if reading about it wasn’t painful enough.

Just the thought of it made me run to the bathroom to throw up for what would be the fourth time today. Rather than it being morning sickness, it was more-so a combination of nerves and disgust. I just wanted this to vanish so I could move on with my life and never make the same decision again.

On the bright side, I wouldn’t get that many questions from the girls because Faith and Luna were the only friends I had. See, being a loner did have its advantages.

That was all I send into the group chat consisting out of Luna, Faith, and I. They had become my best friends and usually, you were supposed to confide in your friends, but telling them I got pregnant by our boss’ just sounded wrong no matter how you looked at it.

When I heard a knock on my door I almost jumped up, thinking about who it could’ve been. “Who’s there?” I called out, expecting nothing back because I definitely did not expect anyone. “It’s me, Lucio!” A voice called back.

Shit, why would he come here now?

“Just a sec!” I yelled back and ran around the house to clean up. My first instinct was to hide the abortion booklet, turn on the tv, and to throw a blanket on the couch to make it seem like I was actually doing something.

After a speedy round, I walked to the door and opened it. “You called in sick.” That was all he said and invited himself in while looking around. He had two bags in his hands, which made me worry because it seemed like he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. “I actually heard you were sick the entire week and I got worried,” Lucio spoke and threw the plastic bags on the kitchen counter.

Even though he was my boss, Lucio coming over was not a surprise because he had done it before and in the six months I had known him he became a father figure to me. The only thing was that the timing was bad, considering the reason for me being sick would’ve been due to his grandchild I was carrying.

“You look terrible, I told my sons to take care of you and they have you out here looking like some grim reaper, but no worries, I have the best soup recipe for fevers!” He spoke and pointed towards the bags.

Lucio had always tried to be nice, but having the wrong choice of words was unfortunately something that ran in the Lamberti family, a curse that hadn’t pass Lucio or his sons.

I laid back onto the couch and covered myself under the blankets. Lucio was a man of orders, so telling him it was okay for him to leave would not only be extremely disrespectful but also a waste of my breath. “Fine, do what you gotta do,” I spoke. Shortly after, Lucio was already busy with cutting up the ingredients and asked me question after question. How did I get sick, when did I get sick, if I had already been to the doctor.

“It’s just a fever, it’ll be over soon,” I reassured him, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. At times I found it quite funny how my brains worked. One of the reasons why I didn’t want to bring the baby into this world was because I was scared of Christian and the business he was in, but yet I had the actual boss, a mafia boss, cooking in my kitchen— but to me, Lucio wasn’t all that scary. I wasn’t completely stupid and knew of his reputation but I had no reason to fear him, if anything I admired him, so why was I so afraid of Christian?

“Come join me at the table, we have to talk,” Lucio spoke. I was afraid for this ‘talk’ but after he had cooked a whole meal for me, obeying him was the least I could do so I wrapped the blanket around my body and walked towards the kitchen to sit at the opposite side of him.