Chapter 11

CARRIE

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, my fingers gripping the cold porcelain of the sink. My hair was a mess, my lips swollen, and there was a glow on my skin that I couldn't deny. Last night had been… everything. But now, reality loomed over me like a dark cloud, threatening to shatter the fragile bubble of happiness I had been floating in.

What was I doing?

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to silence the voice in my head that told me I had made a mistake. But had I? Every fiber of my body still tingled with the memory of Nathan’s touch. My heart ached just thinking about the way he had held me, the way he had whispered my name like it meant something.

But did it?

I turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on my face as if it would wash away the confusion twisting inside me. Nathan was supposed to be my protector, my father’s employee. That was all. And yet, I had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed.

A knock on the bathroom door made me jump.

"Carrie?" Nathan’s voice was deep and calm, but I could hear the hesitation in it.

I swallowed hard, gripping the edges of the sink. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

No. Not even close.

"Yeah," I lied.

A beat of silence. Then, "I’m making breakfast. Come out when you're ready."

I heard his footsteps retreat, and I finally opened my eyes, staring at my reflection once more. I didn’t even recognize myself.

I needed to figure out what this meant—what we meant.

Taking a deep breath, I turned off the water, squared my shoulders, and stepped out of the bathroom.

I stepped into the bedroom, my body still wrapped in nothing but a towel. Nathan was nowhere in sight, but I could hear the faint clatter of pans from the kitchen. My clothes from last night were still scattered across the floor, a glaring reminder of the heat that had consumed us.

I exhaled slowly, running a hand through my damp hair. Part of me wanted to throw on some clothes and slip back into the version of myself that existed before last night. The other part of me—the reckless, selfish part—wanted to wrap myself in Nathan’s arms again and forget the world.

I settled on something in between. I grabbed a pair of soft shorts and an oversized t-shirt, something comfortable yet safe. Something that wouldn’t make me second-guess every decision I had made in the last twelve hours.

As I made my way to the kitchen, I hesitated at the doorway. Nathan stood by the stove, his back turned to me, flipping eggs in a pan. His broad shoulders stretched the fabric of his t-shirt, and the muscles in his arms flexed with every movement. My stomach fluttered.

God, I was in trouble.

He must have sensed my presence because he turned around, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Hey. You sleep okay?"

I nodded, stepping farther into the room. "Yeah."

His gaze lingered on me for a moment before he turned back to the stove. "I figured you’d be hungry, so I made something simple."

I pulled out a chair at the kitchen island, watching as he plated the eggs and set them in front of me along with some toast. It was a quiet, almost domestic moment—one that felt dangerously intimate.

"Thanks," I murmured, picking up my fork.

Nathan sat across from me, sipping a cup of coffee, his eyes studying me over the rim. I could feel the weight of his gaze, but I didn’t look up. Instead, I focused on my food, pretending that my heart wasn’t pounding in my chest.

After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. "Are we going to talk about last night?"

I swallowed hard, setting my fork down. "What do you want me to say?"

"Whatever you're thinking."

I chewed on my lip, my stomach twisting. "I don't know what I'm thinking."

Nathan sighed, setting his mug down. "Carrie, if you regret it—"

"I don't." The words were out before I could stop them.

His eyes darkened. "Then what’s wrong?"

I hesitated, my fingers gripping the edge of the table. "It's just… complicated. My dad. You. Everything."

Nathan leaned forward, his expression serious. "I know this isn't simple, Carrie. But I meant what I said last night. I care about you. This wasn't just—" He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. "It wasn’t just a moment of weakness for me."

My heart clenched. "I don't know how to do this, Nathan."

His lips pressed into a firm line, and for a second, I saw a flicker of something vulnerable in his eyes. "Then let’s figure it out together."

Before I could respond, the sound of my phone buzzing on the counter made me jump. I grabbed it, my pulse spiking when I saw my dad’s name flashing on the screen.

Shit.

I looked at Nathan, panic setting in. He tensed immediately.

"Answer it," he said, his voice low.

I hesitated before swiping the screen. "Hey, Dad."

His voice was sharp, all business. "Where are you?"

I swallowed hard. "At home."

"Good. I need you to pack a bag. You're coming with me on a business trip. We leave in an hour."

My stomach dropped. "What? Where?"

"Europe. I have meetings, and I don’t want you here alone."

I met Nathan’s gaze across the table. His jaw was clenched, his hands tightening into fists.

"Dad, I—"

"This isn’t up for discussion, Carrie. Be ready."

The line went dead.

I set my phone down, my hands shaking. Nathan was already on his feet, his expression unreadable.

"You're leaving," he said, his voice tight.

I nodded numbly. "Yeah."

Neither of us said what we were really thinking.

What the hell did this mean for us?

Nathan’s fists clenched at his sides, his entire body coiled tight like a wire about to snap. I could see the struggle in his eyes—the silent war between reason and the emotions that were threatening to spill over.

“How long will you be gone?” His voice was controlled, but I could hear the slight tremor beneath it.

I shook my head, my own hands tightening into fists on the counter. “I don’t know. A few weeks, maybe longer. He didn’t say.”

Nathan exhaled sharply and ran a hand over his face, his jaw working as he fought to keep his composure. “You don’t have to go.”

A bitter laugh bubbled up in my throat. “Nathan, you don’t know my dad. If he tells me to do something, I do it. There’s no arguing with him.”

His eyes burned into mine. “You’re not a child, Carrie. You can make your own decisions.”

I bit my lip, hating the truth in his words. But it wasn’t that simple. It never had been. “You don’t get it,” I murmured. “Saying no to him—it’s not an option.”

Nathan pushed away from the counter, pacing across the kitchen like a caged animal. “This isn’t fair,” he muttered under his breath. “It’s like he controls every part of your life.”

I flinched. “That’s because he does.”

The weight of my words hung between us, heavy and suffocating.

Nathan stopped pacing and turned to face me, his expression unreadable. “What happens to us, Carrie?”

My stomach twisted. “I don’t know.”

Something flashed in his eyes—hurt, frustration, maybe even anger. “You don’t know,” he repeated, his voice flat.

I swallowed hard. “I just—” I broke off, looking away. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. We weren’t supposed to—”

“To what?” His voice was sharp now, cutting through the thick air between us. “To feel something? To want more?”

I sucked in a shaky breath. “Nathan—”

He let out a humorless laugh. “You know what? Forget it.” He turned away, bracing his hands on the counter as he stared at the floor. His entire body was tense, like he was barely holding himself together.

Silence stretched between us, thick and painful.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke, his voice quieter this time. “You’re really going to just walk away from this?”

I hesitated, my chest aching. “I don’t have a choice.”

Nathan shook his head. “There’s always a choice, Carrie.”

I wanted to believe that. God, I wanted to. But reality wasn’t that simple.

My phone buzzed again. My father. Probably sitting in his car outside, waiting for me to come down with my suitcase.

Tears burned in my eyes as I turned toward the door. “I have to go.”

Nathan didn’t move, didn’t try to stop me.

And somehow, that hurt even more.