Chapter 9

CARRIE

I woke up to the warmth of Nathan’s body curled around mine, his strong arms wrapped protectively around my waist. The soft rise and fall of his chest against my back sent a thrill through me, a reminder of everything that had happened last night. My body still hummed with the aftershocks of our passion, and as I lay there, wrapped in his embrace, I felt something unfamiliar creeping into my chest—contentment.

Nathan stirred behind me, his breath warm against my neck as his fingers unconsciously traced slow, lazy circles over my stomach. I smiled to myself, biting my lip as memories of our night together flooded my mind. He had been everything I wanted—gentle when I needed him to be, rough when I begged him for it, and attentive in a way that made my heart ache.

But now, with the morning light creeping through the curtains, reality came rushing back.

What had I done?

I tensed slightly, and as if sensing my shift in mood, Nathan’s grip tightened around me. “Mmm… good morning,” he murmured against my skin, his voice thick with sleep.

I swallowed hard. I wanted to stay wrapped in this warmth, this illusion of safety, but I knew better. This wasn’t just some one-night stand with a random guy. This was Nathan—my bodyguard, the man my father had hired to protect me. The man who could lose his job if my father ever found out what had happened between us.

I needed to think.

Carefully, I pried myself from his hold, moving slowly so I wouldn’t wake him. As soon as I was free, I slipped out of bed, grabbing the robe from the floor and wrapping it around me. My body ached in the best way possible, a reminder of the night we had shared, but my mind was at war with itself.

I shouldn’t have done this.

But I wanted to do it again.

I padded across the room, barely daring to look at Nathan as he shifted in bed, one arm flopping over where I had just been. He looked so at peace, his dark hair tousled, his lips slightly parted as he slept. The urge to crawl back into bed with him was overwhelming, but I fought it, forcing myself toward the bathroom instead.

I turned on the faucet, splashing cold water onto my face, hoping it would wash away the guilt threatening to take root. My reflection stared back at me—flushed cheeks, swollen lips, eyes still heavy with sleep. I didn’t look like someone who regretted what had happened.

I looked like someone who wanted more.

But wanting more was dangerous.

With a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and stepped back into the bedroom. I needed to leave before Nathan woke up. I needed time to clear my head.

I grabbed my clothes from the floor and quickly pulled them on, casting one last glance at Nathan’s sleeping form before slipping out of the room.

I barely made it down the hallway before I heard his voice.

“Carrie?”

I froze. My fingers clenched around the hem of my shirt as my breath caught in my throat.

“Carrie.” His voice was clearer now, more alert, but still laced with sleep.

I could pretend I didn’t hear him. I could keep walking and act as if nothing had happened. But my body betrayed me—I hesitated, just for a second too long, and that was all it took.

The rustling of sheets. The creak of the mattress. A sharp intake of breath.

I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself.

“Carrie.” This time, his voice was right behind me.

I turned slowly, my heart pounding. Nathan stood in the doorway, wearing nothing but the pair of low-slung sweatpants he must have grabbed before following me. His hair was messy from sleep, his chest bare, and his eyes—those piercing, dark eyes—were locked onto mine with an intensity that made my stomach tighten.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his gaze flickering to my half-buttoned shirt.

“I—I needed to go.” My voice sounded unconvincing, even to me.

His jaw tightened. “Go where?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I had no excuse, no explanation that wouldn’t sound weak or like a lie. Because the truth was, I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew I couldn’t stay.

Nathan took a step forward, his brows furrowing. “Talk to me.”

I shook my head. “It was a mistake.”

His entire body tensed. “A mistake?”

I forced myself to hold his gaze. “Yes.”

The air between us grew heavy. For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. Then he took another step forward, closing the distance between us.

“A mistake,” he repeated slowly, as if testing the word on his tongue.

I nodded, even as my pulse hammered against my skin.

His expression darkened. “Funny,” he murmured. “Because last night, you didn’t seem to think it was a mistake.”

Heat flushed through me, a sharp contrast to the icy knot forming in my stomach. “Last night was—” I sucked in a breath, forcing my voice to stay steady. “It was just the heat of the moment.”

Nathan exhaled harshly and ran a hand through his hair. “Is that what you’re telling yourself?”

“It’s the truth.” I willed myself to believe it.

He stepped even closer, his voice low, rough. “Then why are you running?”

I clenched my jaw. “I’m not running.”

His gaze flicked down to my hands—white-knuckled, gripping my shirt as if it were the only thing holding me together. “You’re lying.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “Nathan—”

“No,” he interrupted, his voice firmer now. “You don’t get to pretend like last night didn’t mean anything.”

I swallowed hard, my fingers trembling as I turned my head away. “It can’t mean anything.”

Silence. Thick, suffocating silence.

Then, he whispered, “Why not?”

I closed my eyes. “You know why.”

His fingers brushed my wrist, so light I almost thought I imagined it. “Carrie—”

“Because my father will destroy you.”

The words came out in a harsh whisper before I could stop them.

Nathan stilled. His entire body went rigid, and for the first time since I turned around, I dared to meet his gaze.

There it was. That flicker of understanding. The cold realization settling in his eyes.

He knew I was right.

My father would never allow this.

He might like Nathan—trust him even—but that trust only extended as far as his role as my bodyguard. If he ever found out what happened last night, what almost happened again just now… Nathan wouldn’t just lose his job. He’d be erased from my life.

And I couldn’t let that happen.

Not when I didn’t even know what this was between us. Not when I wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk.

I took a shaky step back. “This can’t happen again.”

His hands curled into fists at his sides. “Carrie—”

“I mean it.” I forced steel into my voice, even though my insides were shattering. “We forget about last night. We go back to normal.”

Nathan let out a slow breath, his jaw clenching. He didn’t speak for a long moment, just studied me with an unreadable expression. Then, finally, he gave a single, sharp nod.

“Fine.”

Fine.

The word hit me like a punch to the stomach.

I nodded back, then turned on my heel and walked away before he could see the cracks forming in

my resolve.

I didn’t look back. I couldn’t.

Because if I did, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to leave.