Chapter one

Lily Carter’s POV

The loud sound of the alarm clock shattered the silence of the room, pulling me from a restless sleep. I grumbled silently as I reached over to turn it off, feeling the weight of another day looming over me. I stretched my arms slowly, trying to shake off the discomfort. A small, forced smile appeared as I sat up. I could finally escape. Another day of the holiday was almost over, and I could finally get back to school.

The holiday had felt so endless. I just needed a break from it all—the tension, the silence, and the unspoken rules that weighed me down. Sometimes, it felt like I was suffocating in my own home, like I couldn't breathe without someone watching me, judging me, waiting for me to do something wrong whenever he was here.

I pulled myself out of bed and walked to the bathroom, trying to block out the thoughts that were running in my mind. It didn’t help that I had to hide parts of myself. I hated looking at myself in the mirror, especially today. I ran my hands down my body, noticing the changes that had come with age. The curves, the fullness that seemed to embarrass me more than anything. My chest felt heavy, both physically and emotionally.

I touched my face, my lips, which were full and pink. I always thought they looked too much for a girl like me. There were days when I felt ugly, when I wanted to disappear. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t escape the body that made people look at me differently, like I was something to be controlled, something to be put in my place.

It didn’t help that my father was always there, watching me. Criticizing me. He could never be pleased with anything I did. I could feel his eyes on me constantly, making me feel like I was never enough. His harsh words echoed in my mind as I quickly finished getting ready for school. I always felt better when I was away from home, but the thought of returning was always waiting at the back of my mind. I felt like a caged bird in his world and I can’t wait to break free and stretch my wings far.

I walked downstairs, trying to avoid any contact with him. He was sitting at the table, his usual scowl on his face. My mother, looking worn and tired as always, sat quietly across from him, eating in silence. It was a routine. A sad, suffocating routine that never changed. My mother used to look so beautiful with her long beautiful brown hair but she had to cut them short because my father was scared she was going to be snatched away from him. What a sick bastard.

“Good morning, Lily,” my dad said, his voice cold. “You look decent today, but you could do better.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I didn’t want to give him any reason to start yelling, to start telling me how I was always messing up.

“Sit down,” he commanded, his gaze cold and calculating.

I sat down, forcing myself to eat. The silence was broken only by the sound of chewing and the occasional clink of cutlery. My mom said nothing, and I could feel the tension thick in the air. She never said anything when he was like this. She just let him do whatever he wanted. I could see the way she looked at me sometimes, like she wanted to help, but she didn’t know how. She was a caged bird like me.

My father looked at me, his eyes narrowing. “Where’s your necklace, Lily?” he asked.

I froze. I had taken it off earlier to shower and hadn’t put it back on. It was the diamond pendant he had given me when I was fifteen, as a promise to keep myself pure. I didn’t want to wear it anymore—it felt like a burden, a constant reminder of everything I wasn’t allowed to be. I was a human too with feelings running through my veins.

“I... I forgot it upstairs,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Go get it. Now,” he ordered.

I didn’t move. I stayed rooted to the spot not knowing if I should go or not.

“I said go get it!” His voice rose,harsh and demanding. He stood up, his chair falling loudly against the floor.

My mom panicked as she looked at me with pleading eyes telling me to get the necklace.

But before I could react, he charged towards me.

His hands shot out as he grabbed my arm with a force that made my knees weak. His fingers dug into my skin like a venomous snake. I whimpered in pain.

“You think you can forget about the most important thing in this house,Lily?” His voice was low but filled with rage. “You think I won’t notice huh? You want to be a slut that boys can turn and fuck around with?”

I didn’t say anything as I just shut my eyes. His hand hit my face,sharp and stinging against my left cheek. The force knocked me to the ground, my eyes filled with tears, but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t. I could hear my mom crying silently across the room, but she said nothing. She never said anything anymore. She just watched.

“You’re not too old for discipline, young lady.” He roared. “Now,go upstairs and get your necklace.Don’t make me say it again.”

I stood up, my legs shaking. I didn’t look at him as I made my way back upstairs as I glanced at my mother. She looked so helpless and I hated her for feeling weak and vulnerable.

I grabbed the necklace from the bathroom sink, running my fingers over the cold metal. I had always worn it as a symbol of his control over me, but now it felt like a chain. A chain that kept me to a life I didn’t want. I felt the tears burning in my eyes,but I wiped them away quickly. I hated that I felt weak like my mother. I hated that I was letting him do this to me.

When I returned to the table, he nodded approvingly. “You’re not going to forget it again, are you?” he asked, his voice colder than ever.

“No, Dad,” I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest with a mix of anger and hurt.

The rest of the breakfast passed in silence. When it was time to leave, I hurried to the car, my heart racing. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I just wanted to get to school, where I could forget about everything for a few days.

As the driver put my bag in the trunk, my father.“Call me once you get there,” he said softly, his voice now strangely gentle. He thought he had “fixed” me.

“I will,” I muttered, barely holding back my tears.

I didn’t want to be this person anymore. I didn’t want to keep pretending that everything was okay. But I was trapped. Trapped by the expectations, by the rules, by the fear that if I didn’t comply, there would be consequences I couldn’t bear.

I climbed into the car, grateful for the music blasting through my earbuds as I shut my eyes. I didn’t want to think about what awaited me when I returned home, but I knew it would always be there—waiting for me to disappoint him once again.

The pain from my arms was stinging so I had to rub it gently. I wasn’t going to let him break me not like this..