Chapter 3

Old Feelings, New Tension

I sensed his approach, each stride laden with the burden of years gone by. My hands were clammy and my stomach twisted. I could hear every sound in my immediate environment, including the faint buzz of the espresso maker, the clang of spoons on cups, and the background chatter of other people, but they all melted away. My heartbeat was the only sound I could hear, strong and unrelenting in my ears.

I couldn't decide whether I was more upset by his presence or the fact that I kind of wanted him here.

I wouldn't turn around. Not just yet, I couldn't look at him. Not after everything. after all he caused me to go through, after all these years. My nails dug into the smooth flesh of my palms as my hands balled into fists at my sides. I was doing all I could to keep from breaking and to show him how deeply his presence touched me.

"Emma."

Something deep inside me was tugged by his words, which seemed like a whispered order. I couldn't allow myself to feel it because it was too comfortable and cozy. I struggled to calm myself as my breath stuck in my throat. But despite my best efforts, my body failed me. It was familiar with him. I recognized the soft, possessive tone with which he used to utter my name, which made everything seem conceivable. However, that guy was no longer behind me.

I made myself talk. "Jake," I remarked in a clipped, icy tone. The phrase slipped out of my mouth like ice, a wall between us. It seemed like no time had gone at all even though I hadn't seen him in years. I still felt a gnawing anguish that I had buried deep for so long when I heard his name. However, I refused to let him see that. Not right now.

The ensuing hush was oppressive and dense. Even though I hadn't dared to turn around and look at him, I could feel his presence and the pressure of his eyes on the back of my neck.

Jake's words, "I didn’t think I’d find you here," were filled with a subtle desperation that I could sense. "Not here. Emma, I've been trying to find you. For a long time. And now that you're here, I—"

"You shouldn’t have," I cut in, my words coming out more abruptly than I meant to. Like a dense fog, the words hovered in the air and settled between us. I inhaled deeply before finally seeing him in the eye over my shoulder.

I briefly saw something in his eyes raw, unyielding remorse instead of rage or condemnation. When I last saw him, his features had changed. Yes, older. However, the lines of remorse were more deeply imprinted onto his face than I could recall.

He took another step in my direction and muttered, "I know I hurt you," in a low, unvarnished voice. "I can’t undo the damage I caused, but I—"

I interrupted him, my voice constricted, "I'm not interested in your apologies, Jake." "You cannot just return to my life and assume that everything will be well. Is that actually how this works, in your opinion?

For a brief moment, I felt something inside of me break as I saw the flash of agony over his face. Then the resentment took control. I braced myself as the bitterness and years of deceit and treachery returned.

"I've been rebuilding my life for the last five years. Jake, I have two kids to raise. Whatever this is, I have no time for it. I made a motion between us, the tension so great that a knife might pierce it.

Jake's sorrow weighed heavily on both of us as he stood there looking at me. However, his silence was more powerful than any apology.

It was intolerable to me. He made me feel as if I was back there, when I was stupid enough to think he wouldn't abandon me, and I couldn't handle it. However, he did. When I most needed him, he abandoned me. I had been afraid, alone, and pregnant. And he was no more.

I murmured, "You left me," in a low, harsh voice that stung my tongue like poison. "Jake, you abandoned me. You now believe that you may just return and

"I didn’t leave you because I wanted to," Jake stated sharply, his voice becoming irritated. "You're not getting it. Certain things I

I gave a headshake. "Cease. I said, "Just stop," and the words sliced through him like a knife. "I'd rather not hear it. You had an opportunity. You made a decision. Additionally, it's too late now.

I was having trouble breathing. I understood deep down that the words I was speaking were just a shield, even if they were so definitive and full of conviction. I was lying to myself. Because the fact was that the past persisted despite my best efforts to bury it. I could still see how he hugged me and how we fantasized about our future together. And it was painful. It was very painful.

Jake retreated a step while maintaining eye contact with me. He seemed so shattered and confused, as if he was unsure of how to handle the catastrophe he had created. The last thing I wanted was to feel sorry for him. I did even though I didn't want to. And the worst of all was that.

He said, "I didn’t mean to hurt you," in a voice that was now hardly audible.

"You did," I said in a murmur, unable to contain myself any longer. "You hurt me more than you’ll ever know."

We stood there, two strangers imprisoned amid the remains of something that had once been magnificent, and there was a lengthy silence. Then, as if the situation had finally gotten to be too much for him, Jake took a step back and combed through his hair.

"Okay," he answered in a tremulous voice. "I understand. I get it. He started to walk away but halted, as if something had stopped him. However, Emma, I'm not leaving. This time, I won't go."

I wasn't sure whether or not to trust him. I was unsure whether I could. However, I couldn't get rid of the sensation that something had changed inside of me as he left. That something was different.

The truth of the situation suddenly dawned on me as I stood there by myself in the café. After all these years, I had just seen Jake Miller again. A part of me was scared, even though I wanted to detest him and urge him to go away and never return.

Fearful of the consequences if he remained.

I tried to ignore the ideas and concentrate on the here and now. On my life at this time. In actuality, however, I had no idea what my future held. If Jake stayed, I had no idea what would happen.

For a brief moment, I believed I saw Jake look back at me from the door, his face inscrutable, as I tightened my coat over my shoulders. Even though it was just a minute, it seemed like everything.

I shook my head and let out a deep sigh.

I froze just as I was about to go outside and go.

I didn't recognize the guy sitting in the café's corner, sitting in the shadows with a calm focus. However, he had a familiar appearance.

Something changed in the air as his eyes locked with me. I couldn't tell what it was, but the expression he gave me chilled me to the bone.

He got up before I could move or respond, his eyes still fixed on me, and I realized then that this was more than just Jake.

In this game, there were other participants. And I had just unintentionally stepped into something much more significant than I could have ever imagined.

The guy added, "Emma Hayes," in a suave but menacing voice, "I think it's time we had a little chat."

My heart fell.