Chapter 4: The first public appearance

I had not prepared myself for the craziness of the media that surrounded being Caspian Grey’s girlfriend.

We had arrived at the charity gala, and instantly, I was carrying the world on my shoulders.

Of course, there was going to be the grand entrance, and this felt somewhat just like walking into the middle of a storm. Smooth and serene, Caspian led the procession with such assuredness that by his side, I immediately felt out of place. Caspian, in no sense, looked to be walking to a room chock-full of cameras, reporters, and gossips; he looked much more like one who owned this particular space-had been born for this sort of life and could command that attention.

Me? I wasn’t certain that I even belonged here.

It vanished when the flashbulbs went off, illuminating the entire room. It was noisy, the camera clicks a continued barrage. I heard the rise of people hushed in excited tones, and I felt the weight of each pair of eyes on me. My heels clicked down upon the red carpet, but it felt as if I walked upon glass-one misstep and I would shatter.

Beside me, Caspian moved as if he had done this a thousand times: his long stride was effortless, his face just the perfect mask of elegance and authority. Not a twitch while the chaos of night unraveled around him.

I tried to keep up with him, fighting the urge to shrink back into the shadows. But as we moved, his hand found my waist, his fingers warm against my skin. It was a casual touch, yet centered me in ways I hadn’t expected. The tension in my spine eased-if only slightly-but the weight of the moment was still heavy.

“You’re doin’ fine,” he whispered low enough for me alone to hear.

I nodded, my throat dry. I wasn’t so sure if this was fine or if I barely managed to hang in there. Every step seemed to be some kind of balance on a tightrope without knowing whether I would make it to the other side.

By the time we got to the doorway of the ballroom, people were parting to let us through, but, really, it was the effect of breaking into another world: an ornate room with shining white marble floors, huge chandeliers twinkling like diamonds across their length, and well-attired men in suits, ladies in gowns. It hummed-the room full of energy-and I just felt out of place.

A woman In a slinky red dress sauntered toward us. She was tall, her blonde hair cascading in perfect waves, her heels clicking sharply on the marble floor. Her eyes found Caspian, and she gave him a smile that could have melted glass.

“Caspian,” she said, dripping honey with her words, though I could hear the edge buried in them. “I was surprised to hear you’ve finally settled down.”

I felt Caspian’s hand on my waist-squeeze for just a heartbeat, but enough-but his expression didn’t give anything away. He turned a courteous smile on her, though there was something in his eyes that caused a clench in my stomach.

“Lily and I are very happy together,” he said, his tone unhesitating, firm.

I wasn’t sure if the comfort of the words was suppose to reassure me or be some part of his act. Either way, nothing seemed as true anymore in relation to feelings one way or another.

Her glance swept over me like an experiment she tried hard to dissect, her smile faulting a barest hint to sneer out on her lips. “Really?”

The tension mounted between us, and I realized this was not just some idle conversation. This was a test.

I could feel Caspian’s muscles tense beside me, the silence stretching between us like a taut wire. I had no idea how to respond, but I couldn’t back down now. I wasn’t going to show weakness-not here, not with Caspian standing beside me.

I turned to him with abandon, my fingers brushing the lapel of his suit. I could feel his breath catch, just a little catch, but his face didn’t move. He was watching me closely, as if this was some kind of game.

“Oh, absolutely,” I said, forcing a smile that felt too tight, too rehearsed. “He’s very good to me.”

I didn’t know if I was fooling anyone, let alone the woman standing in front of me, but Caspian’s eyes flickered with something I couldn’t quite read. Surprise. Amusement. Possibly even respect?

The blonde's smile fell as she regarded me again, her eyes narrowing in her face. She sniffed, clearly unimpressed, and then turned on her heel, stalking away without another word.

The second she was out the door, I let loose a breath I didn’t even realize I’d been holding in.

I looked to Caspian, my brow arched. “So? How’d I do?”

He regarded me for a time, then finally smiled-the smallest of smiles. “Better than expected.”

It was a complication and a relief to have him agree. I’d done well, yes, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that it was more than just a game, that something else lay behind the way he looked at me, quickening my heartbeat without reason.

I wanted to shrug it off. I wanted to focus on the task at hand-this whole ridiculous deal we had going-but with Caspian, it was never that simple.

And the night wore on, and the longer I was in his orbit, impossible it was to look away. He loomed, always there, some kind of reminder that really, I was not in control here-like some force of nature: strong, compelling, and unreachable.

In time, we made a circuit. Caspian introduced me to a host of important people-business magnates, celebrities, philanthropists-people whose names I would forget the moment I stepped out of the room. But none of that mattered.

The one who did was Caspian.

He was always there, just behind me, his hand on my back or on my arm, his body close enough to press into my consciousness. I would feel the heavy weight of his gaze upon me each time I spoke to somebody else, eyes watchful and never far off from mine. It was a test, an attempt to try and push-see how much further I might go before a break.

And I resented it.

The harder I tried to focus on the humans around me, the deeper my attraction to him. Every gesture, every minor touch, was much too personal; too powerful, almost. Suddenly, as he leaned into me, whispering something right into my ears, his hot breath was like a silent stroking, sending ripples down my arms.

“You’re doing so great,” he whispered once, and I wondered if he actually meant it, or if that was just one more part of the show.

But no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I was becoming addicted to the way he made me feel.

As the night wore older, the guests filtered out one by one until it was quiet. Caspian and I had found each other near the corner of the ballroom off to the side, away from people. Music drifted softly with chatting at just low hum and light shining, and with so much more languor in warmth.

For the first time that night, the tension in the air lightened. There were only two of us present, standing in a space that suddenly felt way too personal.

Caspian turned to me, his gaze intense. I swallowed, suddenly aware of how close he was. His eyes never leaving mine, he stepped closer; the air was thick with things unsaid.

“You did good tonight,” he said in that low, serious voice of his.

I nodded, trying to keep my expression neutral, but something inside just would not let me shake off the tension. “Thanks,” I said, my voice going hoarse.

Caspian regarded me another second, and then, without warning, he leaned forward and smoothed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. The touch was so soft, so casual, and yet it sent a wave of heat surging through me.

His fingers danced just beside my cheek, his skin warm against mine. I could not even breathe, think-let alone move. The world had simply ceased to exist and left us two in the depths of charged silence.

Caspan smirked then, with amusement dancing like diamonds in his eyes. “You want more than a compliment, don’t you?

I was speechless, searching my head for words that never came. Before I could utter anything, he moved another step closer to me, his body practically pressed against mine.

“Perhaps I’ll give you more,” he whispered all low and silky.

And with that, my heart skipped another beat. And I was thrown back, right into the remembering of how this man, Caspian Grey, could always turn my world upside down with such ease.