Chapter 5: Crack in the ice

I wasn’t supposed to care.

That was rule number three. No real feelings.

But never had rules ever seemed so breakable.

It started with the little things-small moments I could have disregarded if I only tried hard enough. The way Caspian always made sure I had coffee in the morning, even though he never really asked if I wanted it. How he slipped his jacket over my shoulders wordlessly when the night air got too cold, as if he’d done that a thousand times before.

How he’d catch sight of me sometimes-like something that he didn’t quite fathom unsettled him.

I told myself it didn’t mean anything.

But deep inside, I knew that I was breaking the rules from the very first moment.

And something told me Caspian Grey was too.

It was a tension-the gala, I guess-between us: the way he’d let his touch linger on my skin, the slight drop of pitch when his voice came to fall while speaking with me, how his gaze remained a fraction too long on my lips.

Well, at least, I didn’t think that I imagined most of it, anyway.

We just continued playing it up.

I acted as if it was all business, our stolen looks and accidental touches meaning nothing and a non-issue, that I was not beginning to covet something I had no right wanting.

Tonight wasn’t any different, either.

The penthouse was quiet; the sprawl of the city spread in a twinkling tapestry of lights beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows that stretched across most the width. I sat cross-legged on the couch, book open on my lap, but hadn’t read one word in the last twenty minutes. My mind was elsewhere-on him, the way he sat across from me, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his fingers absently tapping against the crystal glass in his hand.

Caspian Grey looked like sin wrapped in a three-piece suit. And even now, dressed down in only his black button-down with the top few buttons undone, he was utterly devastating.

And the worst part? He knew it.

I tore my gaze away before he could catch me staring, forcing my attention back to my book.

I could feel his eyes on me.

“Something on your mind?”

His voice was like smoothest of whiskies.

I looked up, trying to maintain a poker face. “No.”

A sly smirk started tugging on the corner of his mouth. I didn’t think he actually believed me. “You are an awful liar, Lily.”

I huffed and snapped my book shut. “I was under the impression honesty wasn’t exactly part of this deal.”

He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. “It isn’t. But I find it amusing when you try.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

Caspian chuckled, and damn it, the sound sent a shiver down my spine. “And yet, here you are.”

I hated how right he was.

The air between us grew heavier, the distance between us shrinking without either of us moving. It was like that increasingly often these days-charged silences, looks that lingered, words weighted with weight even when they were said lightly.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

I shifted, clearing my throat. “You never talk about yourself.”

His expression didn’t change, but something in his posture stiffened, so subtly I almost missed it.

“There’s not much to say,” he said smoothly.

I studied him, tilting my head. “I don’t believe that.”

Caspian exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Lily.”

There was something in the way he said my name, something that made my stomach tighten.

“I’m just saying,” I said, heedless of the warning in his tone, “you know everything about me. But I don’t know a damn thing about you.”

His eyes darkened, and for a moment, I thought he was going to shut me out completely. Then he surprised me.

“I don’t let people in.” His voice was softer now, but it carried something deeper with it. “It’s easier that way.”

I swallowed. “Easier, or safer?”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Both.”

The silence between us was thick and refused to break. And then, before I knew it, my hand reached out. My fingers barely touched his forearm, but in that instant, Caspian stiffened.

His gaze jerked up to mine, and in that instant, I forgot how to breathe.

His eyes weren’t cold anymore. They burned.

“Lily,” he whispered, and God help me, I wanted to hear my name on his lips again.

I should have pulled away. I should have reminded myself this was a business arrangement, nothing more. That real feelings aren’t allowed.

But I didn’t.

Because in that moment, Caspian Grey wasn’t the ruthless billionaire. He wasn’t the man who had bought my time, my presence, my pretense.

He was just a man.

A man who stared at me, as though he wanted me-something he did not know whether he was entitled to.

The tension had become unbearable, stretched taut between us, like a tightrope stretched across the high wire.

I didn’t know who moved first.

Perhaps him. Perhaps me.

But in an instant, he was. Closer. His hand rose, the ends of his fingers barely touching along the line of my jaw. I felt the beat of his breathing against me, hot and uneven.

I had only to lean in-just a little bit-

A blunt knock on the door blasted into the space.

I jerked back like I’d been burned, my heart pounding inside my chest. Caspian’s hand fell away, and in a split second his face had shuttered again. Those walls were once more firmly locked into place as if they never cracked in the first place.

He rose smoothly, though an underlying tension still vibrated from him. “That’ll be the documents I was waiting for.”

I nodded, fighting for even breaths as he crossed to the door.

I sat there, my fingers clutched around my book as if somehow pretending that nothing had happened.

Like I hadn’t been a breath away from breaking every damn rule.

Like I wasn’t already falling into dangerous territory.

The truth was, I fell.

And the way Caspian had just looked at me, I wasn’t so certain I was falling alone.

That night, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, the ghost of Caspian’s touch still lingered.

This was getting dangerous.

The lines were getting blurred, and I didn’t know how to redraw them anymore.

Because no matter how many times I got that memo, I knew this wasn’t acting anymore.

And Caspian Grey?

Not cold and untouchable after all.

At least not with me.

At least not anymore.