CHAPTER 16

Fractures in the Heart

"Caleb, we have to talk," I say to him, my voice trembling as the silence in the pack house after midnight presses down around us. Him and me, only we two now, with the air between us thick enough to cut. I fight to keep the tremble in my voice, "I can't keep being tugged between what was and what could be if you keep questioning everything I do."

The eyes of Caleb widen in a mixture of sorrow and fury as he replies, "Sophia, I am not arguing with you for arguing's sake. I am defending what we have left—what remains of our connection after everything has passed."

I step forward, not wanting his words to just fall on deaf ears. "Defending? Or holding on to your own fears?" I challenge, my voice rising a notch. "Because every time you speak of the past or insist that it be kept a secret, I feel like you're trying to silence me, like you're scared of what I'd be if I let out all these memories."

His voice tightens, and he says, "I'm not trying to shut you out, Sophia. I'm just trying to make sure that you don't get lost in an ocean of memories, that you don't forget the reality of what we're working with here." His words are snapped short, the repressed rage welling under them.

I simply cannot remain silent anymore. "How am I going to build a future when every move I make is haunted by what you won't let me forget?" I demand, my voice grating with a blend of hurt and defiance. "I'm trying to build something new here, but it feels like you're always dragging me back into some kind of broken past."

Before Caleb can answer, Lucas leaps into the burning ring of argument, his words soft but wounded. "I never meant to create the space between us," he breaks in, as if his words could somehow close the growing chasm. "Sophia, Caleb—this isn't about creating more space. I am here because I want us to all find a way forward, together."

Caleb's face hardens at Lucas's interruption, and I see the anger in his eyes as he spits out, "Lucas, you always have to make everything all about you! Can't you see that I'm trying to defend what little we have left?" His words are a mixture of anger and desperation, like each one is a shield from the pain of loss.

I am left in the middle, heart burdened with the weight of the struggle. "Caleb, Lucas is not the enemy here," I protest, voice trembling with emotions. "I'm the one who's been caught in between the ghost of a lost love and the reality of what we're left to have now.". I need to know that I can trust you both, that I won't be left with the choice of hanging on to memories or letting go. My eyes sweep Caleb's face for understanding.

Caleb takes a deep breath, his voice softening just a bit as he speaks, "Sophia, I only worry because I care. Every time you speak of Lucas and what transpired, I watch you get hurt all over again. I'm trying to shield you from that pain, not add to it." There is a rough edge to his voice—a vulnerability he never allows anyone to see.

"But can protection really make the wounds, Caleb?" I ask, my tone a mixture of frustration and yearning. "Or does it just permit them to linger beneath the surface, unexpressed and unresolved?" I pause, letting the tension between us grow before continuing, "I'm tired of feeling like I'm always in limbo between the past and a future you're too afraid to let me fully experience."

Lucas steps closer, his voice a soft whisper, "Sophia, I understand that I can't erase the past, and I understand returning here has reopened old wounds. But I want to be here for you now, not as a reminder of what might have been, but as a chance for something new." His words hang there, heavy with a desparate hope that seems to tremble on the edge of despair.

Caleb's gaze shifts to Lucas, narrowing into hurt and protective measure. "And what happens if that new one comes at the expense of everything we've achieved?" he says, tone low and smooth. "What happens if keeping the past allows us to forfeit the present as well?

I step in between them, trying to break the strained quiet, "Enough!" I cry, my voice cracking with the tension of unbridled emotion. "I don't want you to have to decide and ruin what we have. All I want is to know—you two will I be able to trust that both of you desire my best interest? That both of your doubt and fear isn't going to stand in my way of my moving forward?"

Caleb's jaw tightens, and for a moment I see the war in his eyes—a war between his desire to protect and his need to let me learn to find my own way. "Sophia, I only question because I care.". I'm afraid of losing you to the past, to a memory that could devour you if you're not careful." His voice is laced with a gentleness that contradicts the cruelty of his words, and it hurts my heart even more.

Lucas's voice is low, "We all break, Sophia. My breaking, Caleb's breaking, even yours. But if we can't break them together, then maybe we're supposed to be broken apart. Maybe." His words are poignant, with a sorrow that seems to seep into the air itself.

I feel the room close in, the echo of our passionate argument hanging over us like a warning. "How am I ever going to know what's right if I'm caught in this endless struggle between past and future?" I demand, voice trembling with fear and uncertainty. "Maybe our hearts were never meant to beat as one after all."

Caleb’s eyes flash with hurt as he whispers, “Sophia, please—don’t say that. I’m trying to protect us from breaking even further.” His words are raw, charged with the weight of unspoken regrets and a fear of inevitable loss.

Lucas's hand extends, caressing the air above mine as if to mend the frayed edges of our words, "Maybe I've done nothing but complicate things, but I believe that there is still hope for all of us." His voice is soft, a small supplicating one, as if he doesn't want the fragile hope we have clung to to vanish into the shadows.

I stay there, hurting each time I listen to each word like an opened wound, my heart trapped in a struggle between love, loss, and fear of betrayal. "Maybe our hearts were never destined to beat as one," I finally cry out, voice hoarse and laced with pain, the words hanging in the heavy air of the room like a broken vow.

For what seems like forever, excruciating seconds pass, and all you can hear is the labored sound of our breathing and the obstinate silence that follows. In that locked moment of time, I wonder if our love is to be nothing but a series of shattered moments—a chain of bitter remembrances that will forever be incomplete.

"Can we ever mend what's been broken, or are our hearts forever lost as broken souls lost at sea in the darkness of what once was?"