CHAPTER 21

Lighting the Inner Fire

"Sophia, are you sure you're ready to do this?" My trainer, Marcellus, asks as we begin our lesson in the sanctum of the training hall. His voice is soft with a hint of urgency that hums in resonance to the pounding of my heart.

I swallow hard and reply, "I have to try, Marcellus. I need to feel it—the magic inside me. I can't keep living in the shadow of what I once thought I was."

Marcellus nods, his eyes kind but firm. "Then start with what you know. Focus on that spark. Tell me, can you feel it at all?"

I close my eyes for a second and turn inwards, telling him, "It is such a smouldering ember, barely discernable, yet real. I know it smoulders when I concentrate, but as soon as I try to control it, it dissipates like smoke."

He smiles confidently. "Remember that every large flame starts its life as an infinitesimal spark. Don't lose hope if it will not ignite at the first attempt. Tell me what you first tried."

I open my eyes and gasp in sharply. "I cast a simple levitation spell—lifting a pebble. I put everything into it, and for an instant, it quivered like it was going to take off. But then nothing. I was so angry, Marcellus. It's like reaching out to something that I can't touch."

Marcellus leans in, voice lowering. "Frustration is part of the path, Sophia. Magic, as life, is messy. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. What did you find when you tried that spell?

I pause, my mind spinning with conflicting feelings. "I felt a rush, like a burst of light and heat, but the feeling dissolved at once into disappointment. It was exhilarating and painful—I didn't know if I even could really control it."

Marcellus's expression relaxes. "You are talented, Sophia. Each failure is an opportunity. When you felt that momentary burst, that was a peek at your innate potential. So what did it remind you of?"

I laugh bitterly, my head shaking. "It reminded me of the first time I saw fire—how beautiful and deadly it was both at the same time. I fear that this magic is the same way—uncontrollable, as fierce as it is delicate."

He places a strong hand on my shoulder. "Fear is okay, but so is hope. You have the power to tame this ability. Let us go at this differently. Rather than lifting a rock, picture sucking the energy out of air you breathe. Speak to it, as one would to a close friend."

I breathe deep, shutting eyes again. "Air… I sense you here," I say, my tone gentle and insecure. "You're everywhere I am, omnipresent and too often taken for granted. You can really gift me your power?

For an incredibly long time, there is only the thudding of my own heart. Then, hardly at all, I sense a slight vibration in the air ahead of me. "Marcellus, I think I felt something—a gentle pull, as though the air was reacting to me," I remark, astonished.

He smiles broadly, his voice thick with gentle pride. "That, Sophia, is the beginning of control. It may be small, but it exists. It's your inner flame, burning just beneath the surface. How do you feel?

I slowly open my eyes, a note of amazement and frustration in my voice. "I feel. powerful and powerless. It is like I am on the cusp of something incredible and yet so far away from really understanding it. I want to get that feeling, but the minute I attempt to grasp it, it's lost.".

Marcellus nods thoughtfully. "That is the nature of magic—it is mercurial, shape-shifting. You need to learn to let it come to you, rather than struggling against it. What is the most you can hope for out of this gift?

I take a breath, then confess, "I want control, Marcellus. I want to be able to master this magic so I can not only protect those I love, but know who I am. Every time I fail, I wonder if I'm meant for more or if I'm chasing a dream that's not mine.".

He smiles quietly, the noise quiet in the quiet room. "Dreams, Sophia, are magic itself. They are what encourage us to push past our limits. But remember, control is not domination—it's balance. You must learn to ride the energy rather than fight it into submission."

I wrinkle my brow, thinking about what he said. "Balance… It sounds so simple when you put it like that, but it feels like trying to balance on a razor's edge. What if I lose myself doing it? What if this power consumes me instead of empowering me?"

Marcellus's expression turns serious. "The threat is there, but so is the reward. You must have faith in the power within yourself. The fire within you is not going to burn you to a crisp unless you let it. Have faith, even when you doubt.".

I nod reluctantly, but my voice shakes with uncertainty. "I'm trying it, Marcellus. Every time I try to control this power, I feel it—a warmth, a promise, and yet also the risk of devouring fire. It's like I am at the brink, hesitating between wanting to leap or draw back."

He places his hand on top of mine, grounding me in the present. "Then step back if you must, but don't shut the door all the way. All great paths begin with a single, tentative step. Have faith that with time, you will get the beat of your own strength."

I grinned unevenly, half with relief and half with despair. "I suppose I don't have any choice, really. The magic is inside me, waiting to be born, and I must either accept it or I will be destroyed by it."

Marcellus's eyes sparkle with encouragement. "Exactly. And remember, Sophia, that even a small ember will flare into a great fire if cared for with patience and tender nourishment. Now, let's attempt yet one more exercise. I want you to envision that ember—to imagine it spreading, living off of your hope and your resolve.

I close my eyes and concentrate, my head a whirlpool of emotions. "I see it," I breathe, half-incredulous. "It's faint but growing stronger, like a fragile glow in the darkness. I can almost feel its warmth, hear its soft call."

"Good," Marcellus responds, his voice a soft whisper. "Now, let that spark direct you. Don't push it—let it guide you deeper into a relationship with your inner self. What do you feel now?"

I pause, the silence shattered by the sound of my own breathing. "I feel. like I'm on the verge of something amazing, yet terrifying," I confess, voice trembling with a mix of awe and terror. "It's like the magic is a part of me that I never knew I possessed, waiting for me to claim it as my own."

Marcellus smiles, and his words are like a promise. "That is the awakening, Sophia. You are beginning to understand the magic within you—not as a wild, unmanageable power, but as a part of your own being. Embrace it, and let it transform you from the inside out.".

I gradually open my eyes, the fire of my inner strength burning more steadily now, if still faint. "I would like to believe that I can learn to control it, that I can be more than just a receptacle for this raw power," I speak in a voice of hesitant optimism. "But sometimes I worry that each spark of power threatens to lose all sense of what I am."

Marcellus's face relaxes. "That fear is what makes you human, Sophia. It's the reminder that even in pursuing greatness, our hearts are fragile. The trick is to nurture that spark carefully—let it soothe you, but never allow it to burn you up."

I take a deep breath, listening for the honesty in what he says ringing deep within me. "I'll do my best, Marcellus. I'll attempt to master this balance, even if it kills me to work against my own doubts and fears. I need to have faith that I am capable of employing this magic without it completely consuming me.".

He nods, his voice soft and strong. "You will, Sophia. And keep in mind that every failure, every setback, is one step closer to mastery. The magic you possess within you is strong, but it's also a part of you. It will emerge at its own speed, and when it does, you'll be able to see that you really can't be stopped."

I smile, a weak, optimistic smile with the weight of desperation and determination. "Thank you, Marcellus. For believing in me even when I'm not sure I can believe in myself."

He smiles gently, and his warmth envelop the air around us. "Believe in yourself, Sophia. That's the real magic. Now, let's see if we can ignite that spark into a fire strong enough to illuminate your path forward.

As I close my eyes to focus again, I hear my inner self whispering with wonder and fear, "Will this spark evolve into the flame that molds me, or burn everything I care about?"

"What if the magic within me is the answer to all things—or the same power that destroys the life I have built?"