6. Just In Case

Raelyn’s pov

Things have been better. Dylan has actually been really nice, probably because he’s leaving tomorrow.

They only allowed him two days to get everything ready, which seems a bit weird to me. Why did he only hear about it now? Why did he have to leave so soon?

It’s not like I know anything about corporate life. I didn’t go to college; I had a job at the grocery store since I was sixteen before Dylan offered me to stay home full time.

“Do you know where my toiletry bag is?” Dylan yelled from our bedroom while I was making dinner.

This would be our final night together before he left early this morning, and I was preparing his favorite dish.

I had been feeling conflicted for the last two days.

We had that argument when he left to celebrate on his own, but other than that, he had been nice. But if I was going to leave him, this was my chance.

I could move out while he was in Hawaii, get a cheap hotel room, and try to find a job. I had saved enough money to be able to buy a bus ticket and stay in a hotel room for a month, figuring that would be enough to find a job.

I had never lived on my own before, and I wasn’t sure how hard it would be to get a job or to find an apartment. I found a city a few hours away where rent was much cheaper than here.

Although I had done some research, once I left, there was still a lot for me to figure out.

And once I was really settled, I would file for divorce.

But I wondered if that was the right choice. It was scary thinking about starting over and doing it all alone. I had always had Dylan to rely on.

What if he was right and I couldn’t handle it all myself? I’m only nineteen, and I don’t know anything about taxes, bills, or insurance. Dylan had always handled that.

I don't even have a car of my own.

And what if I start to miss him?

Or worse… what if he tries to find me and gets really mad?

“Lyn?” Dylan called from the bedroom.

“Yeah?”

“Could you come here for a sec?” He asked.

I turned down the heat of the stove so the food could simmer and walked to our room. “What’s up?”

Before I knew what happened, I was on the floor. Dylan had punched me hard enough for me to lose my balance and fall back. I didn’t know what stung more, the back of my head from where I landed on the hard floor or my cheek and eye from where he had punched me. What happened? What had I done wrong?

Dylan towered over me, glaring at me with a very familiar bag in his hand. “Why do you have a bag filled with clothing, toiletries, your passport, and money?”

I tried to sit up, but Dylan kicked me against my ribs. “Answer me! Where the fuck did you get so much money from?!"

I tried to protect myself by making myself into a ball. I couldn't think of an excuse. He had caught me completely off guard.

Dylan dropped the bag to the floor and grabbed a hold of my hair, forcing me to look up at him. “Did you steal from me?”

He began dragging me by my hair to the back of the bedroom.

“No! No!” I quickly replied, grabbing my hair near my scalp in the hopes that it would ease the pain. “It’s money that I saved from grocery shopping.”

“That’s my money!” He let go of my hair, and my head slammed back down. He walked back to the bag, opening it.

“It’s not like that, I just, -“

He mimicked my voice, “you just, you just what, Lyn?” He took all the cash from the bag, grabbed my passport, and placed it in his pocket. “You just thought you could steal from me and leave me?”

“It was just in case, they say, -“

“Who says?!” He shouted. “Who put this idea in your head?”

I pushed myself up, scooting back to the bed. My head was throbbing, “people online. They say online that it’s good for women to have some money and a set of clothes. Just in case something happens.”

He shook his head, his jaw angrily clenching as he stomped towards me. He grabbed my face, squeezing hard. “If you leave while I’m away, I don’t know what I’ll do… You can’t leave, Lyn.”

I tried to plead with him with my eyes. Was he going to kill me?

He squeezed my cheeks; my jaw was hurting, and I felt like if he squeezed even harder, it would break.

“I wasn’t going to leave. It was just in case. Like if an emergency happens.” I said carefully.

“Well, you don’t need it, and it was never your money to take.” He said as he took a few deep breaths.

His demeanor changed, and he sat down in front of me, his hands on my knees. If he hadn't scared me so much, I would have thought he actually cared. “I don’t understand, Lyn. Why do you keep making me so angry? I don’t like this.”

“I don’t like it either.” I said, tears now streaming down my face.

“You know I love you more than anything, and it hurts so fucking much to think you’d just leave like that. I was so hurt when I saw the bag, and it just made me so angry. You shouldn't have done that.” He explained as he tried to touch my hair.

I flinched, and he sighed, “Come on now, Lyn. Don’t be scared. It’s over now. Well, almost.”

I looked at him, eyes wide, wondering what he meant by that.

He tilted his head, looking like a strict teacher, “you owe me an apology, don’t you think?”

“I’m, I’m… I’m sorry.” I sobbed.

He shook his head, “not good enough, babe. Come on, you can do better. You’re sorry about….”

“I’m sorry about stealing your money.” I tried.

“And?”

“I’m sorry I scared you and made you think I’d leave you. I won’t leave. Ever.”

He smiled at me, “good girl. Now, how about we just pretend this didn't happen and try to salvage the rest of the evening?"

I nodded eagerly, “I’d like that.”

“Okay, good. Now go wash your face, because you look like a mess. I’ll set the table.”

“Thank you,” I replied, trying to force myself to smile.

He helped me stand, and I tried to act like my body wasn’t hurting and my head wasn’t throbbing. As soon as I reached the bathroom, I turned the faucet on, making sure he couldn’t hear me. The moment I saw myself in the mirror is when I broke down.

I sobbed uncontrollably, the realization of what just happened hitting me.

I let myself cry for a few minutes; my whole body was shaking, especially my hands. He had hurt me before, but not like this.

I had never feared for my life before.

I had hidden the bag in the back of the closet, thinking he’d never look there. He must have found it while looking for his toiletry bag. I should have hidden it better.

Where there was doubt before, now there was none. I had to get out of this marriage before it killed me. But he had just taken everything I needed to get out.

He was going to leave tomorrow, and I was sure he’d take my passport with him or hide it somewhere I wouldn’t find it. And I had no cash left apart from the five dollars in my wallet.

If there was one silver lining in all of this, it was that at least while Dylan was gone, I was safe. At least while he was in Hawaii, he couldn’t hurt me.

But once he was back… What would happen then?

Would this be how the rest of my life would go? Was it better to just accept it and stop trying to get out?

Maybe if I were better. Maybe if I just behaved how he wanted me to.

I might have been able to convince myself there was a chance things would be fine before tonight, but now nothing I told myself worked.