Ten

I am beginning to hate my job and today has been a day.

It's been a month since AnJ's pitch meeting and the commercial for the Hutchinson account is scheduled to proceed with shooting in two weeks. Wildfires have put a damper on things and the pacific north west is pretty much no man's land as far as traveling. Well not impossible, but too much of a risk to imvolve my staff, a production crew, and my assistant.

We've had to change course and John Hutchinson has decided to use his office as the setting for the advertisement.

I basically have to redo my whole concept and figure out a way to make it work. I think we have finally come to an agreement that we all are very much proud of.

Gretchen appears with Chinese food from my favorite spot downtown and she opens the containers on my coffee table in front of the sofa.

"I figured you could use this," she laughs as she hands me a can of Cherry Coke.

"Gretchen. I love you! Come sit... eat with me. There's no way I am gonna be able to eat all of this."

"Well, I wish I could, but tonight is bingo night with the old man."

"I don't even know what day it is... Bingo Thursday! I think it's rather special how you two have a once a week date."

"What can I say? It keeps the Romance alive," she shrugs. "Are you looking at another all-nighter?"

"Well I will definitely be here late. But I plan to sleep in my own bed tonight for sure. This couch aint it."

"How is it working with John and Jameson?"

"So far? Fine i guess. Jameson keeps asking me out on a date."

“Ugh he gives me the creeps. John Hutchinson gives me creep vibes too. His son is definitely not like him."

I grab an eraser from my desk and head over to my easel and smudge away a faint line i drew earlier this morning.

I can't quite get the slogan right. Something is missing.

"Yeah... his name is Jonathan."

"You've grown quite fond of him, Gretchen."

"He's a nice young man. Seems a bit sad though.”

"Well his father is to Thank for that. If I wasn't in a written contract... i wouldn't be doing this ad campaign. I can't get over seeing him berate his son."

Jonathan had been correct in his assumption of his father handing over the project reigns to Jameson. Jonathan is greatly missed.

"Have you talked to him at all?" Gretchen sounds curious but mostly concerned.

"No i haven't."

"Alicia! Seriously! Why haven't you? I'm sure he is heartbroken over being taken off the account."

"Gretchen... he was already resigned to the possibility. I haven't reached out because... i don't know. I don't want to bother him."

"I bet you if you text him he will be glad to hear from you."

"I gotta run. Eat!!!"

"Yes maam!" She gives me a quick hug and hurries to the elevator.

I pick up my phone and pull up his number and Gretchen is right. I should have reached out weeks ago.

I.... i came on too strong. I'm embarrased at how I practically threw myself at him the last time we saw eachother. I'm alone so I crank up some music and snort two lines and throw myself into my work. Depeche Modes Personal Jesus sounds good as hell and the window shades are wide open and it's raining... and the city below looks beautiful. I snort another line and my creative juices are flowing.

I'm way into my zone with creating the story board that I don't realize that the elevator has dinged or that anyone else was in the office this late.

There's a soft knock at my office door and Jonathan is standing there looking a little tired and rather fucking sexy in a gray v neck t shirt and a pair of sweat pants.

"So is this your creative process?"

"Fuck!" I quickly stop dancing and pray that there isn't any trace if powder on my nose. I feign being hot from dancing and grab a kleenex and make an exaggerated effort to wipe my face.

"Ummm. Gretchen texted me. Said she misses me and that she was working late tonight with you... and ordering Chinese. But I see that she's not here so just let her know I dropped by."

"I'm pretty sure she did that on purpose. Come on in. I'm not Gretchen, but I do have Chinese food. Way too much for me to eat alone."

We sit indian style on the floor in front of the windows eating beef with broccoli and orange chicken. Our conversation is mostly about the campaign and the changes that were made.

He cleans up our food mess and we just sit on the floor and watch the storm brewing outside.

"You know. The last time I saw you was a month ago. How are you doing i ask him. I'm doing okay i guess."

"I love the city in the rain. There's just something mysterious about it. Almost peaceful."

"Are we talking about the same city?" he laughs.

"Still having trouble adjusting." i ask him and he gives me a nod.

"It can be quite lonely at times," he says.

"I'm so sorry I didn't reach out to you... i wanted to! I was afraid i made a complete fool out of myself for throwing myself at you. I made you uncomfortable and you were right."

"I was? It didn't feel so right at the time. I really kicked my own ass for walking out of there and not scoring with you."

"Shut up!" I throw a pillow at him.

"Well it's the truth. Made the rest of my night hell."

"I don't follow?"

"Literally had to rub one out in the shower in order to go to sleep.}Shut up! I throw a pillow at him.

"I follow!"

"Does that make you feel weird?"

"The fact that you just admitted to me that you jerked off in the shower or that you were thinking of me while doing it? None of it makes me feel weird."

"I had a similar night after you left. I blush wildly and lie on my stomach, diverting my attention to the view."

"Busted."

He cocks an eyebrow at me and the tension in the air shifts.

I can feel his eyes on me and this is my chance to just let myself fall blindly. To just go for what I want and put my wants and needs first.

"I have an important Zoom call i can't miss in about half an hour."

He sighs, "Ok..."

"I will see you in the morning?"

"Huh?"

"Well.... i thought that maybe you would like to join me for an early breakfast before work tomorrow?"

"I would like that. I'd like that a lot."

"Okay, I'll meet you tomorrow at 7:30. Would you like coffee and maybe some real food at the cafe across the street?"

"Ok, I will be there."

..........

Surprisingly, Jonathan is already seated and waiting for me at the coffee shop. I wanted to show up a few minutes early and it looks like he had the same idea. He looks quite dashing this morning in a pair of slate gray slacks, a black dress shirt, and a gray neck tie.

I take note how he is dressed in my favorite colors... did he purpously choose to dress to impress me?

I decided to go out of my comfort zone today and dress in a long olive green pencil skirt, and a white dress shirt. I decided to let my long brown hair hang loose.

Our eyes meet and he rises out of his seat to pull out my chair. His smile is genuine and he seems really elated to see me.

"How long have you been here I ask?"

"Ummm, about 15 minutes or so. Not long."

"You look rather refreshing this morning." He regards my appearance and reaches across the table to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. A shiver goes down my spine.

"You're looking quite handsome today, Mr. Hutchinson. If I didn't know better, your color scheme is on purpose," I laugh.

"You noticed?"

"I notice everything about you," i say.

His eyes go dark and he asks about what's on my calendar for today.

"Well.... i have a few overseas phone calls. Then a noon lunch with Jameson," I shudder...

"Is he bothering you?" Jonathan asks.

"Not really. He's more annoying than anything..." i take a sip of my coffee and take a bite of my muffin. "He keeps asking me out to dinner... he wants to take me out tonight."

His face falls. "oh... well... i see..."

"But I was wondering.... if you would like to maybe go out with me tonight... the empire state has a three level starbucks... its quite an experience."

"I'm sorry Alicia. I have a date tonight."

"A date? Oh.... okay... well maybe another time!"

"Prior engagement," he smiles. "I have a movie date."

"Of course! Short notice and all." I stammer. "I'm sorry. I should go on ahead and head up... those overseas calls usually come a little earlier than expected." I rise from my seat and he reaches a hand across the table to stop me from leaving.

"I am free tomorrow night though would that work for you?"

He just admitted to me that he has a date tonight

A movie date. I don't know why that makes me sad. He is free to do whatever he wants. I'm not his girlfriend. Just an acquaintance... why do I feel so... angry?

It really was short notice I smile. "I'm busy tomorrow night... ummm maybe we can another time. I really have to go."

"But I promised you breakfast."

"I'm sorry Jonathan."

I gather my purse and my backpack and I excuse myself from the table.

I don't feel anything anymore once I get into my office and lock the door. I dig in my purse and take a bump of coke and pour myself a glass of water. "I'm so fucking stupid," I groan.