Seven

My nerves are starting to calm a bit and I'm pretty much sober now. It's starting to rain so I head to my car to avoid the impending downpour. I am gonna fucking have the worst hangover tomorrow but at this point i really don't care.

A half an hour later I arrive home with the intention of once again trying to call Avery and then maybe calling it a night. Today can definitely kiss my ass. Still no answer. It's a horrible day indeed.

I straighten up my apartment and decide to take a shower. Maybe order take out...

The shower helps some but if I can be totally honest...

My doorbell rings.

I'm not expecting anyone? Maybe it's the courrier...

I throw on a t shirt and a pair of sweatpants and answer the door.

"Alicia?"

"May I come in?"

I step aside and wave her in.

She looks really dejected.

"How did you know where I lived?” I asked.

"Well... i would have called but..." she looked at me, "Jonathan I owe you a genuine apology. I am not good at apologizing. I didn't realize that I hurt your feelings." She tentatively walks towards my bookshelf in my living room.

"I have a habit of hurting people," she whispers. "I'm trying to be better about that."

"Forget about it." I say. "It doesn't matter."

"But it does," she says. "You don't deserve that. Nobody does."

She eyeballs the various books and runs her finger along the spines. I don't know why, but the simple action makes her appear rather fragile?

"I had no right to blow up at you the way I did."

"I get it. I really do."

she sighs. "Doesn't make what I said or how I acted right. You're obviously frustrated with me and I don't blame you for that."

I usher her to my couch and she takes a seat beside me.

"What I don't understand is why my opinion of you matters so much. That's my fault," I sigh. "Alicia... i don't know why but I feel.... i find myself quite curious about you. I feel silly... i barely know you... but when you brush me off... i feel kinda deflated? I'm fucking 29 years old and I have a crush on a woman who doesn't know i exist."

She looks surprised

"You have a crush on me?"

"I guess that is what you call it."

"Hurt ego and all of that..." i stand up and walk to the kitchen with the intention of grabbing a beer out of the fridge, but I instead settle for a bottle of water.

"You like me?" She muses. "I'm hardly anybody. You have poor taste in women."

"Seriously? See you're doing it again."

"Jonathan... for the record... I'm doing you a favor. I'm not... i have a lot of issues... you can't have a crush on me." she nods.

"Ok... well I guess that's settled."

"See there YOU go again... with your fake indifference."

"Alicia, you just flat-out told me to drop it, and I said okay. What else do you want me to do?"

"Jonathan. Please know that I'm not brushing you aside... I'm moreso pushing you away for your own good."

"Why can't you let me decide what's good for me!?"

"I think you are a really terrific guy. I think you are intriguing... i find myself quite smitten with you." She places a hand on my cheek. "I won't lie to you. It just can't... we can't happen."

"So this...."

"Whatever this is... i feel it too." She looks a bit sad by her admission and I'm wondering why?

"I just wanted to give you some explanation." she sighs. Her cheeks turn rosy. "I don't want you to ever think you're beneath me or that I don't think you are good enough. Because that isn't true at all. It's me."

I stood there silently.

"I should go." she says.

She stands and grabs her sweater and keys.

I don't know exactly what all just happened. She just admitted to me that she had feelings for me. That should make me happy. But she also just told me that we can never be... that makes me feel pretty damn sad.

"Alicia. I thank you for your honesty."

"I will always be honest with you." she says. "Thank you for allowing me to explain myself. Sorry I barged in... I'll see you Monday?"

"Ughhh! Do i have to?"

"What? You don't like my meetings?"

"I'm not looking forward to sitting in the room with my father..."

"It shouldn't be that long of a meeting..."

"I guess..."

She looks at me quickly.

I have to admit... I'm a little sad. It would have been interesting to see what could have been... but maybe she is right. I don't know her whole story. I just know that I have a story of my own... its too complicated.

The rest of the weekend goes by without much excitement. Avery and I finally connected and I was able to schedule a video chat date with her for Friday evening. We are gonna watch a Power Puff Girls movie together... i can't wait. It's not the same as actually being there but I will take seeing Avery any way i can! Plus this impending date gives me something to look forward to this week. For now I'm happy.

My meeting at AnJ isn't until this evening. Alicia is to meet with my father and I to finalize a location and a date to shoot the television advertisement. I don't think this is a good idea but since he had me do most of the legwork, he insists i be there. I don't see this going well at all.

I decide to arrive about an hour early for the meeting... i think I need to talk to Alicia beforehand to explain that my father and I are estranged and that this meeting may turn awkward.

Gretchen greets me at the front desk with a warm welcoming smile.

"Mr. Hutchinson, you are always a sight for sore eyes."

"Good evening, Gretchen. You're too kind."

"Are you taking notes for this evenings meeting?"

"Yeah. I will be there. Did you want me to place an order for food in case we run late?"

"You know that does sound good... but I'm hoping the meeting won't last very long."

"I was hoping maybe we could order Chinese." she laughs.

"Are you craving Chinese, Gretchen?"

"No. Alicia loves Chinese... hoping that it will tempt that girl into eating something. She's running on fumes and I worry about her. At least she's not coughing today."

"Gretchen, I was wondering if I could speak with you and Alicia before my father gets here..."

"Lets buzz her and see if it's safe to go into the Lions den." said Gretchen, "Hey Alicia... Jonathan is here early. Yes... no just him, do you have a few minutes he would like to speak with us before he gets here?"she smiles and gives a thumbs up.

We head to Alicias office and she is huddled over a spreadsheet on her desk. She looks very beautiful in a long black pencil shirt and a black sleeveless shirt with a high neck and a huge bow knot.

Her long chesnut hair is in a messy bun on top of her head

A pair of black strappy heels completes her look. She screams money and success... she's definitely in her element. I've heard stories from many wall street yuppies about Alicia Johnson in the boardroom. Always dressed in black or gray... hair always up... and heels... they say she goes into savege mode and can be quite assertive and sometimes mean.

I bet she doesn't know that her boardroom persona often left those men wondering about her BEDroom persona.

"Mr. Hutchinson you are way early," she smiles. Gretchen takes a seat opposite of Alicias desk and I remain standing.

"I'm sorry... i just wanted to speak with you before my father arrived."

"What's on your mind?" She gives me a concerned look that seems to be genuine.

"Long story short... my father and I don't get along. I grew up in a pretty tense and fucked up home... our relationship is shit and it's fake. I won't get into the whole thing...He has a tendency to belittle me... i will do my best to ignore him and play along. I will not mess up this campaign. I just wanted to let you know it may get tense. If it gets to be too much for you then please know that I understand if you want to bow out."

She ignored me and start a new topic.

"Gretchen... can you please do me a huge favor? Can you see if the conference room is ready... and the orchids are delivered?"

"Sure thing Alicia. I need to finish putting together the packets. How many people are we expecting?"

"A dozen."

"Wow... seriously?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah Mr. Hutchinson, us 3... I'm assuming his partners... maybe some family members...."

"Should i call in for food?"

"I ordered scotch and dim sum... can you see if Alex needs help with setting up?"

"Of course."

Gretchen makes a beeline out of the office and closes the door behind her.

"You don't have to hang around if you are uncomfortable." She turned to me.

"Oh no I'm dying to see the mastermind at work. I've heard stories about your pitch meetings..."

"They're that famous huh?" She smirks.

"Very."

"Listen I'm glad you came early. I wanted to talk to you before the chaos," she muses. She ushers me to the couch and she fixes me a glass of burbon on the rocks.

"I don't like how I left things last night." she says as she takes a seat across from me and hands me the glass.

"Alicia... we are fine. Promise." I take a sip of the drink and she pours herself a shot.

"Do you always take shots of burbon before making a pitch?"

"Yes," she laughs. "Please don't tell on me. I get nervous."

"Seriously?"

"I sure do. Advertising is a male dominated field... most of the people i pitch to are men who think a woman has no place in the boardroom. And most women... the older women hate me," she laughs, "and the younger women admire my persistance."

Something dark clouds her eyes and for a moment she looks somber. She looks scared.

"I don't have room for error." She downs her shot and opens a bottle of water. "But I have another 20 minutes to worry about that."

She hands me a vial.

"You dropped this the other day."

Fuck. Me. I don't know what to say or how to react. All I can do is stare at the bottle of pills in her palm and feign like it's not a huge deal.

"Oh... i was wondering what happened to that. Thanks. I get horrible migraines."

"You don't owe me any explanation," she nods.

Why does it seem as if she knows what these pills are? And why does it seem that there is a silent understanding between us.