Chapter 19

Hope

I slept my nights under a crumbling bridge over the sludge filled body of water that used to be a bustling  river. Although sleep was not the right word at all. I napped, fitfully with my back against the crumbling wall. Which dripped with things I hoped was water but refused to think about to  deeply. The coldness of that fluid seeping through my thin clothes and making the icy wind even worse.

Night after night I was chilled to the bone but I couldn’t bring myself to move to a more sheltered area. There were people out there, hunting in gangs through the dark ruined streets and If they came across me then I knew my fate would be stilled.

No one came down to the rivers edge because of the poisonous gases. And under the bridge I was hidden from prying eyes. It might be uncomfortable but it was the safest place I could think of.

So I spent my nights not sleeping and shivering so much I was sure I had cracked some teeth and my days stalking the streets to try and steal something to eat.

“It’s going to be.” I muttered to myself as my body was wracked with a stomach gripping pain that had been plaguing me since yesterday morning.

It was like a cramp. One of my old monthly ones. I hoped that wasn’t the case. I prayed for whatever god these people believed in that I wouldn’t get my period. I was already hunted and on borrowed time. If I started to bleed then it would be all over for me.

More than likely I was just suffering from lack of food, I had only been able to steal one almost moldy apple since I had left Francs and I hadn’t been able to exactly eat well before then.

Bleeding would have me meeting my maker quickly but the lack of food and clean water would kill me much slower.

In the end it would still result in my death.

I had to think of something and soon. If lack of food and drink was making me feel those horrible griping pains then it would make me vulnerable. I couldn’t protect myself if I was in agony. And then it wouldn’t matter who killed me , man or beast because I would just be dead.

“Need to find a way out of the city.” I mumbled to myself. “Maybe even go home.” I didn’t know why I was talking to myself but I was lonely and talking to myself kept my hopes up. “We could check-“

In the years since I had gotten out of the cab and been transported here I hadn’t once gone back to my parents old house.

More than likely it wasn’t even there anymore. And honestly I was just too afraid to find out.

I didn’t know what would be worse. Going back and finding nothing or finding it still standing?  Maybe even with some of my belonging still in it? I had no way of knowing when the bombs had gone off and the world had turned to crap. It could have been the day after I went missing or a hundred years later.

A wave of deliberating pain swept over me and I doubled over as a cry escaped my lips.  These waves of agony were coming thick and fast now. Which was one of the reasons I was already in my night time hidey hole even though the sun wasn’t going to set for hours. I didn’t want to show weakness. Not out there.

And anyway I hadn’t managed to even steal a crust of bread and my whole body felt weak.

Maybe this was even for the best. With the sun still shining I wasn’t so cold. Maybe I could have a few hours sleep before the sun set?

Maybe maybe maybe.

There was so many maybes in my life. But one thing was for certain. I did need to find a way out of the city. Maybe in the country side I could find someone to take me in. I was a hard worker. I would do anything at all. Except what Franc had expected me to do.

That was where I crossed the line.

I wasn’t a prostitute.

And that was the reason I wasn’t crawling back to him and begging for his forgiveness because I knew what he would want in payment.

Me , my body.

Another sharp pain ,this one so much worse than ever I’d had before. I cried out before I could stop myself. My voice was low and pain filled.

Clutching my stomach with both hands I slipped on the sludge as I tried to get under the bridge so I could curl myself into a ball.

That’s all I wanted to do.

Curl up and let death take me because I couldn’t do this. All my plans were nothing but dreams that would never come true.

I had always been a dreamer. It was the artist in me but now reality was looming and it was dark.

So very very dark.

There was a thump behind me. Right behind me. Almost like someone has jumped the huge distance down from the street. Something heavy.

It landed with so much force that I could almost feel the ground rock beneath my feet.

Was this it? The moment I died?

Monsters roamed these streets and I had done well to hide from this long. There was no hiding now one was right behind me.

If I wanted to survive then all I could do was run.

Did I even want to survive? The thought swept through my brain and hot on its heels one single word.

Yes.

Yes I wanted to live.

I stumbled forward, my boots sliding in the mud but I had barely got under the bridge when it was on me. Something heavy caught me around the waist and against a body that seemed to be made of solid rock.

“Get off me- get off-“ I tried to scream but I just didn’t have the energy and the pains were coming again.

Wave after wave of them.

My front was slammed against the wet stone wall and still the creature pressed into me. Holding me there, sniffing at the skin where my throat met my shoulders.

And I could feel muscles that felt oddly man shaped under the thick coarse fur that rubbed against me.

What kind of creature was this? What kind of monster would sniff and lick against my throat but not bite.

What kind of creature.

My thoughts scattered as I felt something massive  press against the groove of my ass. Something huge and thick and pulsating. And there was only my thin pants to save me from it.

“Heat.” My hair was dragged backwards and the thing licked a long line up my throat. Only this time there was no fur. There was only warm sun kissed skin and very human lips.

What was going on?

What-

Agony, it ripped through me. And my vision swam. The edges eaten away by darkness as I lost the battle to keep conscious.

Whatever happened next I had no control over. Because I wouldn’t be awake to see it. And I was ok with that.

I welcomed the sweat oblivion of nothingness.