CHAPTER 70: The Virgin’s Summer, Part 10
“I’m sorry, Charlotte.”
“Sorry? What are you sorry for? Have I upset you somehow?”
“Not... intentionally, no.” He is hesitant, clearly trying to choose his words. “I wanted to talk to you, while it’s just you and me.”
I stroke his hair. “I’m listening.”
Still, he wavers. “It won’t happen you know,” he says. “I know what you’re hoping for, but it won’t happen. He’ll not marry you.”
I lie very still, for a long moment.
Swallowing the gulp that rises in my throat, “I think he loves me. I think he’s in love with me.”
“Yes, he is. But he still won’t marry you. He thinks he’s too old for you.”
For a while he is silent. “I’m in love with you too. You do know that, don’t you? You believe me?”
“Of course, I do. And I love you too.”
“His voice is strained. “You don’t love me, the way you do him…”
I spin. “Didn’t we go through this the other day? It’s… different... for the two of you. You’re such a beautiful person, and I adore being with you. It’s just...”
“I’m not so exciting to you as James...”
“Michael, whatever you think, I do love you, but it’s just not the same with you, and with him, and… and, I couldn’t bear to give him up…”
I don’t know what else to say and settle for staring into the dark.
“Charlotte. I would never try to rob you of him. I know there’s something special between the two of you and let’s face it, our relationship, almost from Day One, has always been the three of us.” Then he laughs. “Besides, I’m not stupid either. No single man could keep up with you. If I tried to keep you to myself, you’d have me worn to a husk in a month. You need more than one man.”
What is he suggesting?
“So, why do you want to change things? Do you want to change things?”
“It’s just... James is your Master. That’s never going to be any different. Even if I wanted it, it’s certainly not something I’m cut out for. It makes my blood run cold sometimes when I see the things you and he do together… But, then what am I to you? Your boyfriend? Lover? What?”
“I think of you as my Lover, and, I think, so does he. In fact, he has said so to me. I…”
“Yes?”
“I think of you as my ‘Golden Lover’.” Suddenly I feel embarrassed. “I’m sorry, it always sounds so good in my head. It sounds a bit silly, said out-loud doesn’t it?”
Michael smiles. “No, it doesn’t sound silly at all.” He hesitates. “I have something for you if you will accept it.”
Michael reaches into the pocket of his robe and pulls something out: a small box. He does not try to give it to me. Instead, he opens it, showing me the contents: a ring. It is very beautiful: interwoven strands of gold in different shades, gleaming threads of yellow and white together.
My throat dry, I reach with a finger to touch the ring, stroking it in its silken cushion, but I do not take it.
“I’m not asking you for an answer now,” he says. “I’ll keep it for you. You can take your time. Think about it for as long as you want.” Then he takes me by the shoulders and kisses my forehead. “Really,” he says, “no pressure. But please think about it.”
Lost for words, I just stare at him. He begins to look upset. “Please tell me you will at least think about it.”
I nod. “Yes, I’ll think about it.”
My Master pulls up outside and I rush out to meet him, Michael following in my wake.
“Master! How are you?”
“I’m good Charlotte. Glad to be back here again with you both.”
He hugs me and swings me around, kissing me soundly, but I notice his eyes lock briefly with Michael’s. Is it my imagination? Michael gives him the smallest of headshakes, all but invisible.
We go back inside, my Master’s arm around my waist from one side, Michael’s from the other.
“How was your trip?” asks Michael.
“Very successful: much more so than I expected.”
“They’ve extended your contract?”
“Better than that. I’ve been offered a directorship. Apparently, this first phase was a practice run for me, while they weighed me up. Haswell wants me to take charge of the project.”
“That’s great, James. I... assume you accepted?”
“Oh yes.” My Master rubs his hands together. “Why would I not? All that hard work is paying off at last.”
“It sounds as though congratulations are in order then?”
“I think so, yes. Do we have any…? Ah, Charlotte. Thank you.”
I hand him a glass of champagne, and another to Michael.
“Congratulations, Master.”
“Yes, congratulations, James.”
“Thank you both.”
Later, alone with my Master: “I see that you have not accepted Michael’s offer.” His eyes slide sideways to the ring, braided white and yellow gold, gleaming, in its open box on the mantle.
“No. I didn’t.” I am a little disconcerted. I had not expected my Master to be the one who would bring this up.
“May I ask, why not?” He sips his wine, face expressionless, but holding me with his gaze.
My eyes flood, but I choke them back while I try to speak. My voice is small. “Don’t you want me anymore, Master?”
“Why would you think that?”
“It sounds as though you are trying to palm me off on Michael.”
For a moment, he stands frozen, then, for the first time since I have known him, he looks really angry.
“Palm you off? Forgive me, but, ‘Palm you off’? Onto my closest friend? A man who adores you? Who wants nothing more than to be with you? To marry you? Palm you off? You do me an injustice, Charlotte. Michael too.”
His anger fades, but he looks hurt and offended.
“I’m sorry, Master, but, I mean, you were my first… you know that, no-one better… and, how could I walk away from you? I don’t want to walk away from you.”
“And who says you would have to? Did Michael say that?”
“No… he didn’t.” I feel as though I am confessing, but what have I done?
“What did he say?” My Master’s face is unsympathetic.
“Um… that he would never try to rob me of you.”
“You think he was insincere? Lying to you?”
“No, but…”
“I am glad to hear it. Michael is one of the most trustworthy men I have ever known.”
He stands, gazing down at me. His voice is a little gentler, but still, I detect the steel in there.
“So... tell me… What did Michael say? And what did you say? This is not a request. I want to know.”