Chapter 11
Chapter 11
The alarm clock buzzed loudly beside my bed.
I groaned and rolled over, slapping it until it stopped.
For a moment, I just lay there, staring up at the ceiling.
It felt strange.
Today was my first day back at school after everything.
After the coma.
After the dreams.
After... him.
A part of me wanted to stay in bed, wrapped up in the quiet safety of my room.
But life wasn’t going to wait for me.
It never did.
I pushed myself up and swung my legs over the side of the bed.
The floor was cold against my feet, but I welcomed the sharpness.
It meant I was still here.
Still real.
---
Breakfast was awkward.
Chris was already shoveling cereal into his mouth like he was in some kind of eating competition.
Mom bustled around the kitchen, checking her phone, sipping coffee, packing her bag all at once.
Dad sat at the head of the table, his newspaper spread out in front of him like a shield.
Same as always.
I grabbed a piece of toast and sat down quietly.
Chris looked up, milk dripping down his chin.
“Ready to go back to school, Nell?”
I shrugged, biting into the toast.
He grinned.
“If anyone gives you a hard time, I’ll beat them up.”
Mom laughed softly.
“Chris, don’t threaten violence over breakfast.”
He just winked at me.
Dad finally lowered his newspaper, looking at me over the rim of his glasses.
“You feeling strong enough for this?” he asked, his voice gruff.
I nodded, even though I didn’t really feel strong at all.
“Good,” he said, lifting his paper back up.
That was it.
No ‘good luck.’
No ‘we’re proud of you.’
Just good.
Typical.
But somehow, it still meant something coming from him.
---
The bus ride to school was quiet too.
I stared out the window, watching the grey streets roll by.
Lena slid into the seat beside me halfway through the ride.
She was out of breath, her hair a little messy from running.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said, brushing hair out of her face.
“Mike was being... Mike.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“That bad?”
She sighed loudly.
“He called me three times this morning. Wanted to know where I was, who I was with, what I was wearing.”
I frowned.
“That’s not okay, Lena.”
She shrugged like it didn’t matter, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.
“It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
I wanted to say more.
Wanted to tell her she deserved better.
But I knew it wouldn’t help.
She wasn’t ready to hear it yet.
Instead, I bumped her shoulder gently.
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
She gave me a small, grateful smile.
“You too, Nell.”
---
School was... weird.
Every hallway felt too loud and too quiet at the same time.
People stared when they thought I wasn’t looking.
Some whispered behind their hands.
Some just looked away awkwardly.
It was like I had become a ghost.
Someone they didn’t know how to talk to anymore.
I kept my head down and walked faster, pretending not to notice.
Lena stayed close, like a silent bodyguard.
When we got to our lockers, she leaned against hers and sighed.
“People are idiots.”
I smiled faintly.
“Always have been.”
“Always will be,” she agreed.
We exchanged a look and burst out laughing, the sound breaking the weird tension around us.
For a second, it almost felt normal.
Almost.
---
Classes dragged on forever.
Math.
History.
Biology.
I tried to focus, but my mind kept drifting.
Every time the teacher’s voice faded into the background, I found myself thinking about Alex.
About the flyer.
About the message that had disappeared.
My fingers itched to pull out my notebook and write more.
But I forced myself to stay still.
I had to be careful.
No one could know what I was looking for.
Not yet.
---
At lunch, Lena and I found an empty table near the back of the cafeteria.
I picked at my sandwich while she vented about Mike.
“He said if I didn’t call him during lunch, he’d ‘assume the worst,’” she said, air quoting with her fingers.
I shook my head.
“That’s not normal, Lena.”
She sighed, stirring her mashed potatoes with a fork.
“I know. I just... I can’t leave him, Nell. You know how it is with our families.”
I reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“I’m not judging you,” I said softly.
She smiled, her eyes a little watery.
“Thanks.”
We ate in silence for a while after that.
The cafeteria buzzed around us — laughing, shouting, the clatter of trays.
But inside our little bubble, it was just the two of us.
Holding on.
Trying to survive.
---
The rest of the day passed in a blur.
By the time the final bell rang, I felt like I had been run over by a truck.
My head hurt.
My body hurt.
My heart hurt.
Lena offered to walk me home, but I told her I needed some time alone.
She hugged me tight and promised to call later.
I watched her disappear into the crowd, her messy ponytail bouncing with each step.
Then I turned and started the slow walk home.
---
The house was quiet when I got there.
Mom wasn’t home yet.
Chris was probably still at his after-school club.
I dropped my bag by the door and headed upstairs, kicking off my shoes on the way.
My room smelled faintly like vanilla — the candle Lena had given me last Christmas.
I collapsed onto my bed, face first, and let out a long, tired sigh.
---
An hour later, I heard the front door open and close.
Heavy footsteps on the stairs.
A knock on my door.
“Yeah?” I called, sitting up.
Dad pushed the door open slowly.
He stood there awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure if he should come in.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” he said.
I nodded.
“Okay.”
He lingered for a second, scratching the back of his neck.
“I know... things have been hard lately,” he said gruffly.
I blinked, surprised.
Dad never talked about feelings.
Like, ever.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, his voice softening just a little.
“We were... worried.”
I swallowed hard.
“Thanks, Dad.”
He gave a small, stiff nod and backed out of the room.
The door clicked shut behind him.
I sat there for a while, staring at the door.
It wasn’t much.
But it was enough.
---
At dinner, Chris kept making stupid jokes to try and make me laugh.
Mom kept refilling my plate even when I said I was full.
Dad grunted approvingly every time I took a bite.
It was chaotic and loud and messy.
And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like a ghost.
I felt... real.
Alive.
Loved.
---
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, I sat by my window again.
The stars were out, tiny and scattered across the sky.
I pressed my forehead against the glass and closed my eyes.
I thought about school.
About Lena.
About my family.
About Alex.
And I made a promise to myself.
Whatever I found — whatever truths or lies waited for me — I would protect them.
Lena.
Chris.
Mom.
Even Dad.
They didn’t deserve to be dragged into this mess.
I would fight my battles quietly.
Alone if I had to.
Because sometimes love meant keeping people safe, even if it meant keeping secrets too.
I opened my notebook and wrote a single line:
Protect the people you love. No matter what.
Then I slid it back under my pillow, turned off the light, and let sleep finally take me.