Chapter 15
Chapter 15
The hallway buzzed with noise, but I moved through it like a ghost.
Everyone was laughing, hurrying to their next class, sharing weekend plans.
I clutched my books to my chest and headed for the library.
I needed quiet.
I needed space.
Inside the library, the noise faded.
I picked a seat by the big window, where the sunlight poured in and warmed the wooden table.
I opened my notebook, pretending to study.
But my mind was far away.
---
It started with a smell.
The faint scent of fresh laundry and lemon cleaning spray.
It pulled me backward into a memory so strong, so real, it took my breath away.
---
I was standing in our apartment — a beautiful, cozy space my parents had helped us get when I told them I was serious about Alex.
It wasn't huge, but it was ours.
The floors were polished wood.
The kitchen had new appliances.
The balcony overlooked a little park with cherry blossom trees.
I was wearing my school uniform, my backpack tossed on the couch.
Alex stood by the stove, wearing one of his crisp work shirts and slacks, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
The smell of pasta filled the air.
He turned when he heard me drop my bag, a huge grin spreading across his face.
"Hey, baby," he said, crossing the room to pull me into a hug.
"You’re home early."
"I missed you," I mumbled into his chest.
He chuckled, kissing the top of my head.
"I missed you too, Princess."
He always called me that when he was feeling soft.
And I loved it.
I pulled back and looked up at him.
His hair was messy like he had been running his fingers through it all day, but he still looked perfect to me.
"How was work?" I asked.
He smiled proudly.
"Good. Boss said I might get promoted soon. Maybe even my own branch if I keep it up."
My heart swelled.
I knew it wasn’t just luck.
Alex was smart.
Hardworking.
Loyal.
And my parents had seen that too — which was why they helped him get the job in the first place.
They had connections everywhere.
Money could open doors.
But it was Alex who kept them open.
I leaned up on my toes and kissed him softly.
"I’m so proud of you."
His arms tightened around me.
"And I’m proud of you, Miss Straight-A Student."
I laughed.
"I barely passed Chemistry."
He grinned.
"But you did pass."
He kissed my forehead.
"And that’s all that matters."
---
The memory faded like smoke, leaving me sitting there in the library, my heart aching with how real it felt.
I closed my notebook, not even pretending to study anymore.
I pressed my hand to my chest, feeling the steady beat of my heart.
Alex was real.
Our life was real.
They hadn’t erased everything.
Not completely.
---
After school, I walked home slowly, letting the soft breeze brush against my skin.
Every little thing reminded me of him now.
The smell of someone’s cooking.
The sound of a car engine revving.
Even the way the sunlight hit the sidewalk.
---
Later that night, I sat on my bed, flipping through one of my old notebooks from before we moved to London.
Random notes.
Old math homework.
Scribbled doodles.
And then, tucked between two pages, I found it.
A rough sketch.
The lines were soft, unsure.
But I knew that face.
Alex.
His strong jawline.
His messy hair.
That lazy, crooked smile he always gave me when he thought I wasn’t looking.
I ran my fingers over the drawing, tears prickling my eyes.
I must have drawn it during one of those boring classes when I missed him too much.
I didn’t even realize at the time how important it would become.
Proof.
More proof that he was never just a dream.
---
Another memory hit me like a soft wave.
---
It was late.
The apartment was dark except for the flickering TV.
I sat curled up on the couch in one of Alex’s oversized sweatshirts, my legs tucked under me.
Alex came home, dropping his keys in the bowl by the door.
He looked exhausted, but when he saw me, he smiled.
That small, special smile he reserved only for me.
"Hey, baby," he said, voice low and warm.
I jumped up and ran to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
He lifted me slightly, spinning me once before setting me down with a laugh.
"You’re supposed to be asleep," he scolded gently.
"I couldn’t sleep without you," I whispered.
He kissed my forehead and led me back to the couch.
We collapsed together, tangled in each other.
Safe.
Loved.
Whole.
"I could stay like this forever," I said sleepily.
"You will," he promised.
"No matter what happens. You and me, Nell. Always."
---
The memory faded, leaving me blinking back tears.
I hugged the notebook to my chest, breathing in the scent of old paper and dust.
"I’m going to find you," I whispered into the darkness.
"No matter what."
---
That night, I didn’t dream of Alex.
I remembered him.
Really remembered.
Not as a fantasy.
Not as a dream.
But as the boy who held me through my worst days.
The boy who made boring dinners feel like a feast.
The boy who made me believe in forever.
And somewhere deep inside, I knew...
He was out there.
Waiting.
Maybe as lost as I was.
Maybe just as broken.
But waiting.
And I was going to find my way back to him.
One piece at a time.
One memory at a time.
No matter how long it took.
Even if the world tried to erase him.
Even if everyone told me he didn’t exist.
Even if I had to stand alone against everything.
Because love like ours didn’t disappear.
It didn’t break.
It didn’t die.
It just waited.
And I was done being afraid.
I would find him.
I would find us.
Whatever it took.