Chapter 31
Chapter 31 (Alex’s POV)
The restaurant buzzed around me.
Laughter.
Clinking glasses.
The low hum of conversations blending into a wall of noise.
I sat at the corner of a long table, half-listening to the people around me.
Business associates.
Investors.
Rachel, sitting to my right, smiling politely, sipping her wine.
I was supposed to be celebrating.
Some deal had gone through.
Some merger signed.
Another success stacked on top of a life that looked perfect on paper.
But all I could think about was how fake it felt.
How fake I felt.
---
"Alex," someone said, nudging my arm lightly.
I blinked and looked up.
Rachel.
"You’re zoning out again," she said softly, leaning closer.
I gave her a tight smile.
"Sorry. Long day."
She laughed a little, brushing her hair behind her ear.
"You’re always working too hard," she said.
"You need a vacation. Somewhere sunny. Maybe Italy?"
I nodded absently, reaching for my glass of water.
The man across the table — I think his name was Davis — laughed loudly at something.
Everyone joined in.
I didn’t.
I didn’t even hear the joke.
---
Rachel watched me carefully.
I could feel her eyes on me even as she smiled and chatted with the others.
She knew something was off.
She wasn’t wrong.
I was off.
More off than I had ever been.
---
When the main course came — some fancy steak and vegetables arranged like artwork — I barely touched it.
I pushed the food around my plate, pretending to eat, pretending to laugh at the right times.
Pretending to care.
The conversation shifted from business to vacations to relationship gossip.
Rachel leaned closer again, her voice low.
"You’re not yourself," she said.
I didn’t answer.
Didn’t even look at her.
---
Finally, after what felt like hours, the dinner ended.
People stood, shaking hands, exchanging polite goodbyes.
I stayed in my seat a little longer, needing a second to breathe.
Rachel didn’t move either.
She sat quietly, watching me.
---
"You wanna talk?" she asked finally.
Her voice was softer now.
Less sharp.
More real.
I ran a hand through my hair, sighing.
"There’s nothing to talk about."
Rachel tilted her head, studying me.
"You’ve been... different," she said carefully.
"Since the beginning of the month. Distant. Sad."
She paused.
"I thought maybe it was work. Stress. But this is something else, isn’t it?"
I stared at the empty glass in front of me.
Choosing my words carefully.
"I don’t know how to explain it," I said finally.
Rachel gave a small sad smile.
"You don’t have to," she said.
"Just... don’t shut everyone out, okay?"
I nodded because it was the easiest thing to do.
Not because I meant it.
---
She reached out and squeezed my hand gently.
The touch felt foreign.
Not wrong exactly.
But not right either.
Like shaking hands with a stranger.
---
We stood and made our way outside.
The city air was cool against my face, the lights bright and sharp.
Rachel hailed a taxi.
Before she got in, she looked at me again.
"I’m here if you need anything," she said simply.
I nodded again.
Watched her leave.
Watched the taxi merge into the traffic and disappear.
And then I stood there on the sidewalk, surrounded by hundreds of people, feeling completely alone.
---
I walked instead of calling my driver.
Hands stuffed into my jacket pockets.
Head down.
The night swallowed me up easily.
I wandered through the streets without thinking.
Past closed shops.
Past busy bars.
Past couples holding hands and laughing softly.
Each step felt heavier than the last.
Each breath harder to take.
---
I found myself in front of a bookstore without meaning to.
The same one I had seen the other day.
The window display still showed those romance novels.
Still showed lovers clinging to each other through rain and war and tragedy.
I stared at it for a long time.
Feeling something sharp and painful twist inside me.
---
She’s out there.
Somewhere.
She’s real.
I know it.
I know it.
---
I turned away quickly and kept walking.
The memory flashes were stronger now.
Not just in sleep.
Not just in dreams.
They bled into the daytime too.
Into moments like this.
---
I heard her laugh in the back of my mind.
Soft.
Warm.
Real.
I remembered the way her fingers felt twined with mine.
The way her head fit perfectly against my shoulder.
The way she whispered my name like it meant everything.
---
I stopped walking, closing my eyes tightly.
Trying to block it out.
Trying to hold onto it.
Trying to understand.
I didn’t know which anymore.
Maybe both.
---
The world moved around me.
Cars honking.
People laughing.
Music drifting from open doors.
And I stood frozen in the middle of it all.
A man ripped in half.
---
I took a deep breath and started walking again.
I needed answers.
I needed to find the truth.
Because if I didn’t...
I didn’t know how much longer I could survive feeling like this.
---
When I finally got back to my building, I nodded at the security guards without really seeing them.
The elevator ride up was silent.
The hallways empty.
My penthouse door closed behind me with a soft click.
I leaned against it for a second.
Breathing.
Trying to piece myself back together.
---
I crossed the living room and stood by the window.
The city stretched out below me.
Bright.
Loud.
Alive.
And yet I had never felt more disconnected from it.
---
I touched the cool glass lightly.
Somewhere out there, she was breathing the same air.
Somewhere out there, she was waiting too.
---
I didn’t know her name.
Didn’t know where she lived.
Didn’t even know if she remembered me.
But I knew she existed.
And I knew I was running out of time to find her.
---
I let my forehead rest against the window.
Closed my eyes.
And made a silent promise.
I would find her.
No matter what.
No matter how long it took.
No matter what I had to lose.
Because some things were worth everything.
And she was one of them.