Ch 23: Unexpected help

Aribella POV

He quickly dropped a paper bag onto the counter before dropping to his knees beside me with a thud. The disinfectant-blood mixture seeped into his uniform, but he didn't seem to care or attempt to move.

“Was this all from dancing?” he whispered, grabbing a larger rag to place beneath my feet.

The cool leather of his gloves was refreshing on my hot skin. Everywhere the antiseptic touched my skin felt like it was being licked by the bluest of flames.

“I think Miss Milovoch puts spikes in her shoes for extra torture,” I tried to laugh, but it sounded choked from the tears and pain. "But yeah," I attempted to force a smile, but it was useless. "I can't even be miserable with grace."

His gloved hand reached out for the gauze, “You don’t have to help me,” I swiped furiously at my tears, feeling stupid for looking so weak right now. "I was just wallowing in self-pity."

“I know,” was all he said as he carefully lifted my foot, wrapping the gauze from my ankle down to my toes. The way his fingers carefully pulled the gauze over my skin was with a gentleness I didn't think a man could possess. He was careful to avoid touching any of the blisters or open wounds.

“The blood doesn’t bother you, does it?”

The thought crossed my mind when our eyes first met, but I’d struggled to formulate the words at the time. I didn't know what would be appropriate to ask him or if any of my questions deserved to be answered.

“Between the mask and antiseptic, I can barely smell it," his golden eyes flicked up to mine for the briefest moments before returning his gaze to the task at hand.

“If you get uncomfortable, you don’t have to help me.”

“If I were uncomfortable, I wouldn’t help you,” those golden eyes lifted slowly up to mine, and heat flooded my cheeks.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“For being an inconvenience,” I winced as he applied the metal butterfly strips that held the gauze in place.

“I am here of my own volition. I chose to help you.” His words had tears burning behind my eyes, but I couldn’t begin to comprehend why. "You shouldn't apologize for things that don't deserve apologies."

I spent the past four years nursing my own wounds, and the man that was supposed to love and protect me never once lent me a hand. He never once tended to my wounds with gentleness.

The only thing he ever did with his hands was inflict pain.

Kaelar owed me nothing. He wasn’t my friend or my lover, he was just some poor soul stuck with babysitting me, and now I’ve gone and caused him more trouble by injuring myself.

“The bleeding should stop soon,” his voice was softer than usual, and without asking, he began to clean up the mess I’d made by pouring the antiseptic without a towel beneath me.

I forced myself onto my hands and knees before climbing to my feet. The lingering burn from the antiseptic was distracting me from the ache in my feet, and it took more effort than I cared to admit making it back to my bed.

I silently wished that Kaelar hadn’t found me teary-eyed on the bathroom floor. I didn’t want to look weak, especially not in front of anyone here. But above all of that, I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob and scream and punch something until my knuckles bled. I wanted to release all of the pent-up frustration that swam through my veins like poison and let it out into the world so that it didn't keep destroying my insides until I was nothing more than an empty shell.

He returned a few moments later, the same brown paper bag in his hands as when he arrived, and dropped it beside me on the bed, “I brought lunch since you didn’t want to eat in the dining hall.”

“Thanks,” I grabbed the bag, and the moment I opened it, my stomach grumbled in thanks. "You didn't have to do that. Or help me for that matter."

The guilt and embarrassment of having to rely on Kaelar was more than I'd experienced thus far.

“I’ll let Rhory know that you need tomorrow off from the dance lessons.”

My face whipped up to look into his eyes, “No,” I shook my head. “I’d really appreciate if you’d keep this between us.”

Kaelar’s golden eyes looked confused as he stood there, and I desperately wished I could see the rest of his face. Was there more expression hidden beneath the black mask? Or was he as stoic as I imagined him to be.

“Okay.”

Nothing more was said, and nothing more needed said. I felt like I’d officially made my first ally in this little mess that I’d gotten into, and after he slipped outside of my room, I enjoyed the sliced meat sandwich and bright green apple that he brought me as the pain in my feet slowly faded away.